I guess you are never really safe... (long)

Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?

I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. I didn't
post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
people in this group were.

I screwed it up. Let me explain.

I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. I was about to start a new job
and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. It was pretty
easy to stop. The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
followed was easier. Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
gone. I had stopped. It was over. The cravings disappeared and I
didn't feel any desire to smoke. So in a way, I thought that I would
live happily ever after.

A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
here. I came here for six months for work. It's been (and still is -
about two months left to go) a great experience. I quickly made a lot
of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
fun. This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
exciting. The night life is great. And of course smoking is allowed
more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. So one
night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very pleased that
I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had another one a
couple of weeks later. And then another one the week after that. At
some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking. Then, I can't
remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. And about
three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
every day.

I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. I have
been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
door behind me. Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. I
feel like such an utter, utter idiot.

Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
point where I used to be. I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. That
may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
it's getting more. I know from experience that it will eventually go
back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
cigarettes a day, more when I go out.

Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. I know
about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
back. Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
be the perfect moment to stop. I really don't want to smoke again. I
really, really don't.

OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
"total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. It's
as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
started again but stopped again after about a month. What was it
like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?

Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am always
running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That makes it hard
to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal with
temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
most people don't smoke any more.

I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this habit any
longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is there
something I should do to prepare myself? Do I need to be in a
particular frame of mind? Last time, I thought about stopping for a
long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
not. As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
they are around.

Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
really want to succeed.

Best wishes,

Oyster

On Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:28:15 -0700 (PDT), Oyster
<alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote:

>Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?
>
>I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. I didn't
>post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
>people in this group were.
>
>I screwed it up. Let me explain.
>
snip
>
>Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
>on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
>really want to succeed.
>
>Best wishes,
>
>Oyster
Oyster,
Once, I quit for a year. Like you, I had one, then 20 . . .
It took way more for me to quit the second time. I completely gave up
on any chance of quitting. I decided to quit because of age and
health concerns. The more I thought about it the more I smoked.
I discovered www.cognitivequitting.com That allowed me to believe
again. AS3 got me through the rest. Now I have VOF quit ging on. It
would only take one for me to lose it. Thank you for your story.
Fred

Posted Via Usenet.com Premium Usenet Newsgroup Services
----------------------------------------------------------
http://www.usenet.com

Oyster wrote:
>... Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
> really want to succeed.
>
Hey Oyster! Most of us here can tell you "on this path lies danger."
It is oh so easy to reestablish those pathways in your brain that
encourage you to remain a helpless, addicted slave. Most of our stories
about failed quits sound eerily like yours. Stop right now and be
prepared to deal with all the usual side effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Do not allow yourself to believe that "just one" is not so bad.

On the positive side, you have not had the time to fill your poor lungs
up with black sludge again yet, and you are having a wonderful adventure
in an exciting, exotic place! Put the cigarettes down and enjoy all the
healthy things you can do there.

Good luck, Oyster. Let us know how it goes.

Maude

On 14 jun, 11:28, Oyster <alexandert...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
> really want to succeed.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Oyster

Hi Oyster.. You do realise the only reason you relapsed is because you
took a puff, right? That's all you have to say NO to, 1 puff.

Best place to start is looking through quitbuddies.org and their link
page. Post here, write, rant, whatever, just don't take a puff.
Personally I found that learning and education about nicotine
addiction, at whyquit.com, is what got me through the most. I know,
most will qualify it as scare tacticts but since when is showing the
truth a scare tactic (look at Saving Private Ryan, that was never
qualified as scare tactics )?

Never forget the reasons why you quit. Never forget what you went
through after you quit. And, most of all, never forget, there is no
such thing as "Just one" !

Inky,

Free since 22/06/07. No nicotine for 11 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 6
hours, 3 minutes and 7 seconds. That's 10747 stinkers not smoked,
saving € 1.139,24. Reclaiming 5 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 35 minutes.

You relapsed the first time you smoked. The first one you put in your mouth
and lit was a relapse, and it just snowballed from there. I think by you
pretending and saying that the relapse wasn't until you smoked every day is
a BIG LIE you are listening to in your head.

You feel that your relapse is not "total"??????? What does that mean? Like
you "aren't as bad" as a regular smoker? You smoke! You are a smoker
again! I understand what you are saying, but again this is just the lie
that is operating here.

Temptation is ALWAYS going to be everywhere. ALWAYS. You have to want to
NOT smoke more than you WANT to smoke. That's kind of the plain and simple
of it.

I did relapse after 18 months of smobriety. I smoked a couple cigarettes
one night when I was under great duress, went to bed and got back to
quitting when I got up the next morning. I had a few unexpected and
powerful craves but didn't smoke any more. That was 4.5 years ago. But
you, although not back to your pack a day habit, have been relapsing for
long enough that if you really do not want to smoke, will have some serious
withdrawals.

Good luck. Just my opinion, and all the standard disclaimers. Quit lying
to yourself. You are an addict!
With hope and heart,
Kathleen

"Oyster" <alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?
>
> I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. I didn't
> post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
> people in this group were.
>
> I screwed it up. Let me explain.
>
> I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. I was about to start a new job
> and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. It was pretty
> easy to stop. The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
> followed was easier. Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
> gone. I had stopped. It was over. The cravings disappeared and I
> didn't feel any desire to smoke. So in a way, I thought that I would
> live happily ever after.
>
> A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
> here. I came here for six months for work. It's been (and still is -
> about two months left to go) a great experience. I quickly made a lot
> of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
> fun. This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
> exciting. The night life is great. And of course smoking is allowed
> more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. So one
> night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very pleased that
> I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had another one a
> couple of weeks later. And then another one the week after that. At
> some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking. Then, I can't
> remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. And about
> three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> every day.
>
> I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. I have
> been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
> that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
> door behind me. Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. I
> feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
> a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
> point where I used to be. I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. That
> may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
> it's getting more. I know from experience that it will eventually go
> back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
> cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. I know
> about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
> emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
> shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
> back. Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
> they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
> be the perfect moment to stop. I really don't want to smoke again. I
> really, really don't.
>
> OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> "total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. It's
> as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> started again but stopped again after about a month. What was it
> like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?
>
> Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am always
> running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That makes it hard
> to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal with
> temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
> It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
> many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
> most people don't smoke any more.
>
> I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this habit any
> longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is there
> something I should do to prepare myself? Do I need to be in a
> particular frame of mind? Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> not. As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> they are around.
>
> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
> really want to succeed.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Oyster

What Kathleen said! Stop lying to yourself and you will be fine. Quit
now, quit totally, and quit for good.
We are here for you.
SteveS
OOF

Kathleen wrote:
> You relapsed the first time you smoked. The first one you put in your
> mouth and lit was a relapse, and it just snowballed from there. I think
> by you pretending and saying that the relapse wasn't until you smoked
> every day is a BIG LIE you are listening to in your head.
>
> You feel that your relapse is not "total"??????? What does that mean?
> Like you "aren't as bad" as a regular smoker? You smoke! You are a
> smoker again! I understand what you are saying, but again this is just
> the lie that is operating here.
>
> Temptation is ALWAYS going to be everywhere. ALWAYS. You have to want
> to NOT smoke more than you WANT to smoke. That's kind of the plain and
> simple of it.
>
> I did relapse after 18 months of smobriety. I smoked a couple
> cigarettes one night when I was under great duress, went to bed and got
> back to quitting when I got up the next morning. I had a few unexpected
> and powerful craves but didn't smoke any more. That was 4.5 years ago.
> But you, although not back to your pack a day habit, have been relapsing
> for long enough that if you really do not want to smoke, will have some
> serious withdrawals.
>
> Good luck. Just my opinion, and all the standard disclaimers. Quit
> lying to yourself. You are an addict!
> With hope and heart,
> Kathleen
>

Oyster <alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote in news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-
b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com:


> I had a cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very
>pleased that I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had
>another one a couple of weeks later. And then another one the week
>after that.

That's an old familiar story. Thanks for sharing it with us again.
We need to always remember that just one and we're done. I blew an
18 month quit some 12 years ago with just one "puff". Only a puff.
I got away with that for a week or so...then decided I could manage
a puff or two at a time. We all know where that leads.

Not even a single puff. Not ever again!!


---
Wayne Baker
Nicotine Free: 10M 1w 2d 21h 6m
Not Smoked: 9,129
Money Better Spent: $1,506.29

On Sat, 14 Jun 2008 06:10:06 -0500, "Kathleen"
<lovebirds1201@hotmail.com> wrote:

>You relapsed the first time you smoked. The first one you put in your mouth
>and lit was a relapse, and it just snowballed from there. I think by you
>pretending and saying that the relapse wasn't until you smoked every day is
>a BIG LIE you are listening to in your head.

What Kathleen said.

There is no gray area here. You either smoke or your don't. You quit
by making a commitment then following through with it. You know now
that you just have to not light that next one. It doesn't get any
simpler than that.

You can do it.
--
BessieBee
"Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?"

No, no one is really ever safe until they put that cig in their mouth.

PolarBear
--
"Failing to prepare is preparing to fail"
I will not fail. I will prove that Bipolars can
stay quit too


"Inky" <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:f81f4b7c-ad1c-4bd1-9099-95905dbca42d@z72g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
> On 14 jun, 11:28, Oyster <alexandert...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
>> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
>> really want to succeed.
>>
>> Best wishes,
>>
>> Oyster
>
> Hi Oyster.. You do realise the only reason you relapsed is because you
> took a puff, right? That's all you have to say NO to, 1 puff.
>
> Best place to start is looking through quitbuddies.org and their link
> page. Post here, write, rant, whatever, just don't take a puff.
> Personally I found that learning and education about nicotine
> addiction, at whyquit.com, is what got me through the most. I know,
> most will qualify it as scare tacticts but since when is showing the
> truth a scare tactic (look at Saving Private Ryan, that was never
> qualified as scare tactics )?
>
> Never forget the reasons why you quit. Never forget what you went
> through after you quit. And, most of all, never forget, there is no
> such thing as "Just one" !
>
> Inky,
>
> Free since 22/06/07. No nicotine for 11 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, 6
> hours, 3 minutes and 7 seconds. That's 10747 stinkers not smoked,
> saving € 1.139,24. Reclaiming 5 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 35 minutes.

Oyster,
you got some good advice, that you, yourself used to give here...remember?
You still do. You said you have friends coming over next week end and you
want to stop smoking before they get there! So, what is stopping you?
Because it is hard to quit? That's one of the reasons I don't even consider
taking a puff.
Sorry, Oyster, don't need to be mean, but just be honest with yourself.
Quit for your own self. Not for your friends.

You have our full support. Good luck, and please post often and keep us
abreast (love this word) of things.

AZ--
I have been quit for 1 Year, 1 Week, 4 Days, 8 hours and 12 minutes (377
days). But I don't know what happened to the $3,301.73 I saved by not
smoking 18,867 cigarettes. I have recovered 2 Months, 4 Days, 12 hours and
15 minutes of my life.--


"Oyster" <alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?
>
> I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. I didn't
> post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
> people in this group were.
>
> I screwed it up. Let me explain.
>
> I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. I was about to start a new job
> and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. It was pretty
> easy to stop. The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
> followed was easier. Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
> gone. I had stopped. It was over. The cravings disappeared and I
> didn't feel any desire to smoke. So in a way, I thought that I would
> live happily ever after.
>
> A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
> here. I came here for six months for work. It's been (and still is -
> about two months left to go) a great experience. I quickly made a lot
> of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
> fun. This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
> exciting. The night life is great. And of course smoking is allowed
> more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. So one
> night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very pleased that
> I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had another one a
> couple of weeks later. And then another one the week after that. At
> some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking. Then, I can't
> remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. And about
> three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> every day.
>
> I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. I have
> been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
> that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
> door behind me. Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. I
> feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
> a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
> point where I used to be. I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. That
> may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
> it's getting more. I know from experience that it will eventually go
> back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
> cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. I know
> about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
> emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
> shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
> back. Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
> they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
> be the perfect moment to stop. I really don't want to smoke again. I
> really, really don't.
>
> OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> "total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. It's
> as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> started again but stopped again after about a month. What was it
> like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?
>
> Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am always
> running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That makes it hard
> to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal with
> temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
> It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
> many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
> most people don't smoke any more.
>
> I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this habit any
> longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is there
> something I should do to prepare myself? Do I need to be in a
> particular frame of mind? Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> not. As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> they are around.
>
> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
> really want to succeed.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Oyster

On Jun 14, 4:28*am, Oyster <alexandert...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi everyone! *Can I tell you my story?
>
> I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. *I didn't
> post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
> people in this group were.
>
> I screwed it up. *Let me explain.
>
> I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. *I was about to start a new job
> and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. *It was pretty
> easy to stop. *The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
> followed was easier. *Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
> gone. *I had stopped. *It was over. *The cravings disappeared and I
> didn't feel any desire to smoke. *So in a way, I thought that I would
> live happily ever after.
>
> A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
> here. *I came here for six months for work. *It's been (and still is -
> about two months left to go) a great experience. *I quickly made a lot
> of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
> fun. *This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
> exciting. *The night life is great. *And of course smoking is allowed
> more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. *So one
> night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> cigarette. *Just one. *And I didn't relapse. *I felt very pleased that
> I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. *So I had another one a
> couple of weeks later. *And then another one the week after that. *At
> some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> went out. *Then going out became an excuse for smoking. *Then, I can't
> remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. *And about
> three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> every day.
>
> I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. *I have
> been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
> that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
> door behind me. *Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. *I
> feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
> a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
> point where I used to be. *I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. *That
> may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
> it's getting more. *I know from experience that it will eventually go
> back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
> cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. *I know
> about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
> emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
> shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
> back. *Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
> they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
> be the perfect moment to stop. *I really don't want to smoke again. *I
> really, really don't.
>
> OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> this group. *First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> "total". *In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. *It's
> as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> and dangerous this is. *Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> started again but stopped again after about a month. *What was it
> like? *Is it easier? *Harder? *Any experiences?
>
> Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. *I am always
> running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> going out. *I rarely have time to stop and think. *That makes it hard
> to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> find an excuse for not stopping. *How do people here deal with
> temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
> It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
> many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
> most people don't smoke any more.
>
> I want to stop tomorrow. *I don't want to indulge this habit any
> longer. *But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". *Is there
> something I should do to prepare myself? *Do I need to be in a
> particular frame of mind? *Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> not. *As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> they are around.
>
> Any advice would be appreciated. *I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. *I
> really want to succeed.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Oyster

I can't answer your questions, but I want to thank you for coming here
and sharing it.
Your story will enforce my vigilance.
I can not ever touch another cigarette.
I too hated that slavery.
I would bet if you came here and posted your meter each day it would
help you with your new quit.

On Jun 14, 7:10*am, "Kathleen" <lovebirds1...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> You relapsed the first time you smoked. *The first one you put in your mouth
> and lit was a relapse, and it just snowballed from there. *I think by you
> pretending and saying that the relapse wasn't until you smoked every day is
> a BIG LIE you are listening to in your head.
>
> You feel that your relapse is not "total"??????? *What does that mean? *Like
> you "aren't as bad" as a regular smoker? *You smoke! *You are a smoker
> again! *I understand what you are saying, but again this is just the lie
> that is operating here.
>
> Temptation is ALWAYS going to be everywhere. *ALWAYS. *You have to want to
> NOT smoke more than you WANT to smoke. *That's kind of the plain and simple
> of it.
>
> I did relapse after 18 months of smobriety. *I smoked a couple cigarettes
> one night when I was under great duress, went to bed and got back to
> quitting when I got up the next morning. *I had a few unexpected and
> powerful craves but didn't smoke any more. *That was 4.5 years ago. *But
> you, although not back to your pack a day habit, have been relapsing for
> long enough that if you really do not want to smoke, will have some serious
> withdrawals.
>
> Good luck. *Just my opinion, and all the standard disclaimers. *Quit lying
> to yourself. *You are an addict!
> With hope and heart,
> Kathleen
>
> "Oyster" <alexandert...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > Hi everyone! *Can I tell you my story?
>
> > I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. *I didn't
> > post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
> > people in this group were.
>
> > I screwed it up. *Let me explain.
>
> > I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. *I was about to start a new job
> > and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. *It was pretty
> > easy to stop. *The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
> > followed was easier. *Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
> > gone. *I had stopped. *It was over. *The cravings disappeared and I
> > didn't feel any desire to smoke. *So in a way, I thought that I would
> > live happily ever after.
>
> > A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
> > here. *I came here for six months for work. *It's been (and still is-
> > about two months left to go) a great experience. *I quickly made a lot
> > of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
> > fun. *This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
> > exciting. *The night life is great. *And of course smoking is allowed
> > more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. *So one
> > night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> > cigarette. *Just one. *And I didn't relapse. *I felt very pleased that
> > I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. *So I had another one a
> > couple of weeks later. *And then another one the week after that. *At
> > some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> > went out. *Then going out became an excuse for smoking. *Then, I can't
> > remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. *And about
> > three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> > every day.
>
> > I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. *I have
> > been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
> > that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
> > door behind me. *Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. *I
> > feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> > Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
> > a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
> > point where I used to be. *I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. *That
> > may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
> > it's getting more. *I know from experience that it will eventually go
> > back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
> > cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> > Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. *I know
> > about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
> > emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
> > shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
> > back. *Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
> > they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
> > be the perfect moment to stop. *I really don't want to smoke again. *I
> > really, really don't.
>
> > OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> > this group. *First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> > don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> > "total". *In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. *It's
> > as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> > and dangerous this is. *Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> > i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> > started again but stopped again after about a month. *What was it
> > like? *Is it easier? *Harder? *Any experiences?
>
> > Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. *I am always
> > running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> > going out. *I rarely have time to stop and think. *That makes it hard
> > to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> > find an excuse for not stopping. *How do people here deal with
> > temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
> > It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
> > many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
> > most people don't smoke any more.
>
> > I want to stop tomorrow. *I don't want to indulge this habit any
> > longer. *But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". *Is there
> > something I should do to prepare myself? *Do I need to be in a
> > particular frame of mind? *Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> > long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> > not. *As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> > to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> > they are around.
>
> > Any advice would be appreciated. *I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> > on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. *I
> > really want to succeed.
>
> > Best wishes,
>
> > Oyster- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

I agree with everything Kathleen said.
I remember you because I was just about 5 months into my quit when you
came here.
Please do not fool yourself!
You can do it - we can help
Love Lizzy

Okay, here's my take on this. The issue of smoking and quitting has a
number of components and one of the more pernicious is the whole
behavioral aspect. We condition ourselves, as smokers, to reach for a
cigarette over and over again every time we feel a tinge of wanting.

When we quit, we learn a new set of responses to things which remain
available to us as conditioned memories-- something we've learned-- so,
even when we relapse, we still have this additional skill set available
to us when we quit again, which is something we may not have had
initially.

But, it will be harder and harder to tap into thatthe longer you keep
smoking, because you're reinforcing the old, unhealthy behaviors with
every passing day. So every day of smoking takes you further away from
what you learned when you weren't smoking.

While it is never easy to quit, I think that after a few days back on
the wagon-- if you do it soon-- you will find yourself falling back into
the familiar non-smoking routine that you established over those two
years you didn't smoke. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be.

That is all. Hope you get back on the wagon sooner rather than later.

hugs,

elle


Oyster wrote:
> Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?
>
> I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. I didn't
> post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
> people in this group were.
>
> I screwed it up. Let me explain.
>
> I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. I was about to start a new job
> and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. It was pretty
> easy to stop. The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
> followed was easier. Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
> gone. I had stopped. It was over. The cravings disappeared and I
> didn't feel any desire to smoke. So in a way, I thought that I would
> live happily ever after.
>
> A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
> here. I came here for six months for work. It's been (and still is -
> about two months left to go) a great experience. I quickly made a lot
> of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
> fun. This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
> exciting. The night life is great. And of course smoking is allowed
> more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. So one
> night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very pleased that
> I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had another one a
> couple of weeks later. And then another one the week after that. At
> some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking. Then, I can't
> remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. And about
> three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> every day.
>
> I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. I have
> been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
> that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
> door behind me. Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. I
> feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
> a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
> point where I used to be. I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. That
> may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
> it's getting more. I know from experience that it will eventually go
> back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
> cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. I know
> about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
> emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
> shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
> back. Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
> they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
> be the perfect moment to stop. I really don't want to smoke again. I
> really, really don't.
>
> OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> "total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. It's
> as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> started again but stopped again after about a month. What was it
> like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?
>
> Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am always
> running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That makes it hard
> to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal with
> temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
> It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
> many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
> most people don't smoke any more.
>
> I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this habit any
> longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is there
> something I should do to prepare myself? Do I need to be in a
> particular frame of mind? Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> not. As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> they are around.
>
> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
> really want to succeed.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Oyster

Woah! I can't believe people still remember me! That's actually very
touching.

Thanks for all the kind messages. Kathleen, just to clarify, when I
mean say the relapse is not complete, I am not saying that I am not
smoking (obviously I am, otherwise I wouldn't be here), just that I
have not yet returned to the stage where I smoke as much as I did
before I stopped. Perhaps I did not express myself clearly. I do,
however, agree with everything else you said, especially about one
cigarette (or rather, one puff) being enough to constitute a relapse.

I am quitting now (it is evening here). I am seeing a friend tomorrow
afternoon, so hopefully that will make it easier. I have found in the
past that the first day is by far the hardest. The physical
withdrawal symptoms gradually disappear after that - at least for me.
Naturally, the psychological addiction remains.

I will post again soon. Thanks again to everyone. Wish me luck.

All the best,

Oyster

On 14 Jun., 22:19, Lizzy <dizcov...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> On Jun 14, 7:10*am, "Kathleen" <lovebirds1...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > You relapsed the first time you smoked. *The first one you put in yourmouth
> > and lit was a relapse, and it just snowballed from there. *I think by you
> > pretending and saying that the relapse wasn't until you smoked every dayis
> > a BIG LIE you are listening to in your head.
>
> > You feel that your relapse is not "total"??????? *What does that mean?*Like
> > you "aren't as bad" as a regular smoker? *You smoke! *You are a smoker
> > again! *I understand what you are saying, but again this is just the lie
> > that is operating here.
>
> > Temptation is ALWAYS going to be everywhere. *ALWAYS. *You have to want to
> > NOT smoke more than you WANT to smoke. *That's kind of the plain and simple
> > of it.
>
> > I did relapse after 18 months of smobriety. *I smoked a couple cigarettes
> > one night when I was under great duress, went to bed and got back to
> > quitting when I got up the next morning. *I had a few unexpected and
> > powerful craves but didn't smoke any more. *That was 4.5 years ago. *But
> > you, although not back to your pack a day habit, have been relapsing for
> > long enough that if you really do not want to smoke, will have some serious
> > withdrawals.
>
> > Good luck. *Just my opinion, and all the standard disclaimers. *Quitlying
> > to yourself. *You are an addict!
> > With hope and heart,
> > Kathleen
>
> > "Oyster" <alexandert...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> >news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
>
> > > Hi everyone! *Can I tell you my story?
>
> > > I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking. *I didn't
> > > post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how supportive
> > > people in this group were.
>
> > > I screwed it up. *Let me explain.
>
> > > I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. *I was about to start a new job
> > > and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. *It was pretty
> > > easy to stop. *The first day was tough, but after that, every day that
> > > followed was easier. *Within a few weeks, it was gone - actually
> > > gone. *I had stopped. *It was over. *The cravings disappeared and I
> > > didn't feel any desire to smoke. *So in a way, I thought that I would
> > > live happily ever after.
>
> > > A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge megacities
> > > here. *I came here for six months for work. *It's been (and still is -
> > > about two months left to go) a great experience. *I quickly made a lot
> > > of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge amounts of
> > > fun. *This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very hedonistic
> > > exciting. *The night life is great. *And of course smoking is allowed
> > > more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people smoke. *So one
> > > night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> > > cigarette. *Just one. *And I didn't relapse. *I felt very pleased that
> > > I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. *So I had another one a
> > > couple of weeks later. *And then another one the week after that. *At
> > > some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> > > went out. *Then going out became an excuse for smoking. *Then, I can't
> > > remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. *And about
> > > three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> > > every day.
>
> > > I think I was in denial for some time about what was going on. *I have
> > > been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit to myself
> > > that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and had locked the
> > > door behind me. *Fortunately, I have now come to my senses again. *I
> > > feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> > > Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said, only about
> > > a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got back to the
> > > point where I used to be. *I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day. *That
> > > may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I can tell that
> > > it's getting more. *I know from experience that it will eventually go
> > > back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is, 15-20
> > > cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> > > Now, I don't need any information about the evils of smoking. *I know
> > > about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of breath, the
> > > emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part) and the
> > > shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to voluntarily go
> > > back. *Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next week, and
> > > they don't know that I have started again, and I think that this would
> > > be the perfect moment to stop. *I really don't want to smoke again. *I
> > > really, really don't.
>
> > > OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> > > this group. *First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> > > don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> > > "total". *In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder. *It's
> > > as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> > > and dangerous this is. *Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> > > i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> > > started again but stopped again after about a month. *What was it
> > > like? *Is it easier? *Harder? *Any experiences?
>
> > > Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. *I am always
> > > running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> > > going out. *I rarely have time to stop and think. *That makes it hard
> > > to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> > > find an excuse for not stopping. *How do people here deal with
> > > temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?
> > > It's really very different to Europe (where I am from), where nowadays
> > > many countries have strong restrictions on where you can smoke, and
> > > most people don't smoke any more.
>
> > > I want to stop tomorrow. *I don't want to indulge this habit any
> > > longer. *But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". *Is there
> > > something I should do to prepare myself? *Do I need to be in a
> > > particular frame of mind? *Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> > > long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> > > not. *As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> > > to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> > > they are around.
>
> > > Any advice would be appreciated. *I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> > > on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. *I
> > > really want to succeed.


>
> > > Best wishes,
>
> > > Oyster- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> I agree with everything Kathleen said.
> I remember you because I was just about 5 months into my quit when you
> came here.
> Please do not fool yourself!
> You can do it - we can help
> Love Lizzy

Well said, Kathleen! A relapse is a relapse. Smoking is smoking. I
think many of us have been there but the difference that keeps me, at
least, from going back is that I have made up my mind that smoking is a
bad thing which adds nothing of value to my life.

Relapse starts when you decide it might be a good idea to stick a
cigarette in your mouth. If you never let yourself go there, you have
nothing to worry about.


Hugs,

elle

Kathleen wrote:
> You relapsed the first time you smoked. The first one you put in your
> mouth and lit was a relapse, and it just snowballed from there. I think
> by you pretending and saying that the relapse wasn't until you smoked
> every day is a BIG LIE you are listening to in your head.
>
> You feel that your relapse is not "total"??????? What does that mean?
> Like you "aren't as bad" as a regular smoker? You smoke! You are a
> smoker again! I understand what you are saying, but again this is just
> the lie that is operating here.
>
> Temptation is ALWAYS going to be everywhere. ALWAYS. You have to want
> to NOT smoke more than you WANT to smoke. That's kind of the plain and
> simple of it.
>
> I did relapse after 18 months of smobriety. I smoked a couple
> cigarettes one night when I was under great duress, went to bed and got
> back to quitting when I got up the next morning. I had a few unexpected
> and powerful craves but didn't smoke any more. That was 4.5 years ago.
> But you, although not back to your pack a day habit, have been relapsing
> for long enough that if you really do not want to smoke, will have some
> serious withdrawals.
>
> Good luck. Just my opinion, and all the standard disclaimers. Quit
> lying to yourself. You are an addict!
> With hope and heart,
> Kathleen
>
> "Oyster" <alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
>> Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?

I'm going to keep this simple, my two cents...

Cent 1 - Never just one
Cent 2 - It's only temptation if you let it be a temptation

You know what you have to do, nobody can do it for you.

Good luck!

BLueCoBra
(the only time when Zero is a Great number!)
Did It, Done It, Liked It, Loved It For 3 Years, 4 Months, 3
Weeks, 12 hours, 49 minutes and 28 seconds (1,237 days).
Stuffing my wallet with $2,010.99 by not smoking a big pile
of 30,938 cigarettes. Regaining 3 Months, 2 Weeks, 4 Days,
10 hours and 10 minutes of my wunnerful life. I took control
of my life on: 1/24/2005 12:30 AM VOF!!
¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ NAR Certified ¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

"Oyster" <alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
> Hi everyone! Can I tell you my story?
>
> I posted here about two years ago about quitting smoking.
> I didn't
> post a lot - never became a regular - but I remember how
> supportive
> people in this group were.
>
> I screwed it up. Let me explain.
>
> I stopped smoking in July/August 2006. I was about to
> start a new job
> and I thought it was the perfect time - and it was. It
> was pretty
> easy to stop. The first day was tough, but after that,
> every day that
> followed was easier. Within a few weeks, it was gone -
> actually
> gone. I had stopped. It was over. The cravings
> disappeared and I
> didn't feel any desire to smoke. So in a way, I thought
> that I would
> live happily ever after.
>
> A few months ago, I moved to Asia, to one of the huge
> megacities
> here. I came here for six months for work. It's been
> (and still is -
> about two months left to go) a great experience. I
> quickly made a lot
> of new friends and started going out a lot and having huge
> amounts of
> fun. This city is a very intense, fast-moving place, very
> hedonistic
> exciting. The night life is great. And of course smoking
> is allowed
> more or less everywhere, and lots and lots of people
> smoke. So one
> night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I
> had a
> cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very
> pleased that
> I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had
> another one a
> couple of weeks later. And then another one the week
> after that. At
> some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes
> whenever I
> went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking.
> Then, I can't
> remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again.
> And about
> three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was
> smoking
> every day.
>
> I think I was in denial for some time about what was going
> on. I have
> been having such a good time that I didn't want to admit
> to myself
> that I had moved right back into the smoking prison and
> had locked the
> door behind me. Fortunately, I have now come to my senses
> again. I
> feel like such an utter, utter idiot.
>
> Fortunately, I haven't been smoking that long - as I said,
> only about
> a month of smoking every day - and I still haven't got
> back to the
> point where I used to be. I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a
> day. That
> may not be a huge amount in the scheme of things, but I
> can tell that
> it's getting more. I know from experience that it will
> eventually go
> back to where it was back in the bad old days - that is,
> 15-20
> cigarettes a day, more when I go out.
>
> Now, I don't need any information about the evils of
> smoking. I know
> about it all - the horrible health risks, the shortness of
> breath, the
> emotional slavery (for me, that was always the worst part)
> and the
> shame that I feel for having been stupid enough to
> voluntarily go
> back. Now, I have some friends from home visiting me next
> week, and
> they don't know that I have started again, and I think
> that this would
> be the perfect moment to stop. I really don't want to
> smoke again. I
> really, really don't.
>
> OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced
> members of
> this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I
> said, I
> don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my
> relapse is not
> "total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it
> harder. It's
> as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet
> realised how bad
> and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar
> situation -
> i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for
> me!), then you
> started again but stopped again after about a month. What
> was it
> like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?
>
> Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am
> always
> running around doing things, either working or meeting
> friends or
> going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That
> makes it hard
> to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it
> very easy to
> find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal
> with
> temptation and with being in an environment where most
> people smoke?
> It's really very different to Europe (where I am from),
> where nowadays
> many countries have strong restrictions on where you can
> smoke, and
> most people don't smoke any more.
>
> I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this
> habit any
> longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is
> there
> something I should do to prepare myself? Do I need to be
> in a
> particular frame of mind? Last time, I thought about
> stopping for a
> long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if
> that helped or
> not. As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend,
> but I want
> to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered
> wreck when
> they are around.
>
> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse
> hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous
> about this. I
> really want to succeed.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Oyster

Hi Oyster.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience, but thanks for posting it. I
can always use a reminder that I am "a puff away from a pack a day."

If you don't mind my saying so, it sounds like the Nicodemon has
filled your head with some junkie thinking. You're trying to justify
your behavior by saying maybe it isn't so bad because you're not
smoking as much as you used to, etc. etc. And see what got you to this
point: thinking like, "OK, I'll just do it this once." "OK, I'll only
smoke when I go out." "OK, I'll buy this pack, but I will only smoke x
per day."

That's junkie thinking, my friend. It doesn't matter if it's 1 or
1,000, you're smoking again. Consider it an invisible line that you
crossed when you took that first puff.

That said, be glad that you know the drill and what to expect. Just
put it down. Use patch/gum if you want, but don't smoke another
shitstick. Don't do it. Tell yourself that come hell or high water,
you aren't touching another one of those things.

It does appear from your post that you really do want to quit, and
that you enjoyed the time you were quit. You know that is within your
reach again, don't you?

We are here if and when you need us. I'll be thinking of you and
sending support your way.

Hugs
Ashley


11 Months, 3 Weeks, 11 hours and 21 minutes (357 days). 5,362
cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,005.38. LIfe saved: 2 Weeks, 4 Days,
14 hours and 50 minutes.

"Oyster" <alexandertoth@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1a4ee22e-dd50-4522-b8ab-41cb0db63b13@x1g2000prh.googlegroups.com...
<snip>So one
> night, when I was a bit drunk and I felt very carefree, I had a
> cigarette. Just one. And I didn't relapse. I felt very pleased that
> I didn't experience any withdrawal effects. So I had another one a
> couple of weeks later. And then another one the week after that. At
> some point, I started asking random people for cigarettes whenever I
> went out. Then going out became an excuse for smoking. Then, I can't
> remember when, I started buying my own cigarettes again. And about
> three or four weeks ago, the relapse was complete - I was smoking
> every day.

Been there. Done that. It's amazing how it works, isn't it?

> OK, so here are my questions for the wise and experienced members of
> this group. First of all, although I have relapsed, as I said, I
> don't smoke as much as I used to, so I feel that my relapse is not
> "total". In a bizarre way, that almost seems to make it harder.

I can so relate.

> It's
> as if some stupid, insane part of my brain hasn't yet realised how bad
> and dangerous this is. Has anyone here been in a similar situation -
> i.e. you stopped for a long time (almost two years for me!), then you
> started again but stopped again after about a month.

I blew a four-year quit exactly as you describe, back in '87.

> What was it
> like? Is it easier? Harder? Any experiences?

Every quit is different. Even for the same person. You can't predict it.
What you *can* do is prepare. You have done exactly the right thing by
coming here to read and post. Now, write your quit list, do whatever has
worked for you before, stock up on healthy snacks, choose your NRT and/or
medication and/or other quit aid (you wouldn't need much NRT at all, and
probably a minimum of medication, but do, at least, *consider* quit aids.
Get your ducks in a row and your attitude right. Then quit.

> Secondly, as I said, temptation is everywhere here. I am always
> running around doing things, either working or meeting friends or
> going out. I rarely have time to stop and think. That makes it hard
> to find a good moment to stop - or rather, it makes it very easy to
> find an excuse for not stopping. How do people here deal with
> temptation and with being in an environment where most people smoke?

One day at a time.

The three rules of relapse can be helpful. (1) You can't bum smokes; you
have to buy your own. (2) You can't buy cigarettes in the place where you
have decided to relapse. You have to leave and buy the cigarettes
elsewhere. (3) As soon as you light the first cigarette, you throw the
pack away. This makes you slow down and *think* about what you are doing.
You are unlikely to get to step 3. I carry the three rules of relapse in my
wallet to this day.

I also found it helpful to write a contract with myself before I went out,
listing all the reasons I wouldn't smoke that evening and promising to leave
the premises if I felt I couldn't resist. I'd carry the contract in my
pocket and go to the ladies' room to re-read it as necessary.

> I want to stop tomorrow. I don't want to indulge this habit any
> longer. But a part of me feels somehow "not ready". Is there
> something I should do to prepare myself?

See above. If tomorrow is your quit date, set it as your quit date, and
don't look back.

> Do I need to be in a
> particular frame of mind?

There is no magic moment. If you wait for the perfect moment, you will wait
forever, and even if you think that moment has come, something will happen
within moments or days after your quit to make you feel you have the perfect
excuse for relapse. Murphy's law :-)

The principal frame of mind you need: DETERMINATION. Not brittle "will
power." You need a fixed and non-negotiable intent.

> Last time, I thought about stopping for a
> long time before I actually did it, and I don't know if that helped or
> not.

Like I said, every quit is different. Some quitters stop on a dime, some
prepare for weeks. I've done it different ways during different quits.

> As I said, I have friends visiting me next weekend, but I want
> to stop before then so I am not a nervous, foul-tempered wreck when
> they are around.

Sounds like a good motivation and opportunity to quit to me. Buy some
nicotine gum, maybe?

> Any advice would be appreciated. I know that my relapse hasn't gone
> on for that long, but I am still surprisingly nervous about this. I
> really want to succeed.

You are right to take it seriously. Smoking is no joke.

You are doing everything right so far, by posting here. Congratulations on
your decision. I look forward to reading your posts and watching your
quit-time grow.

ep oooooooof
Eight years, ten months, three weeks, six days, 20 hours, 26 minutes and 30
seconds. 162742 cigarettes not smoked, saving $24,411.39. Life saved: 1
year, 28 weeks, 5 days, 1 hour, 50 minutes.

"Edna Pearl" <edna_pearl@yahoo.BiteMeSpammer.com> wrote in
news:K1U4k.5304$AJ6.2508@bignews8.bellsouth.net:

> I blew a four-year quit exactly as you describe, back in '87.

Wow EP !!!! You lost a four-year quit ???? Amazing. I'm so glad
you regained all that and much more. Perhaps its morbid, but I
can't help but wonder