I hate myself! (RANT)

I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
THE ONE that kills me :/

Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
(( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (

Inky,

Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

(((Inky)))

Read my earlier post about the NicoDemon. This is such a struggle for
ALL of us. And believe me, I know how it can eat at you.

Hang in there. I'm sending really good wishes your way, all the way
across the ocean. Maybe we can reset our meters together....

Ashley

Inky wrote:
> I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
> last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
> dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
> WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
> been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
> smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
> attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
> THE ONE that kills me :/
>
> Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
> fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
> (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
> square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
> Inky,
>
> Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
> smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.
>

Inky,

I blew a this quit at 3 weeks.

Got in a monumental fucking fight with an asshole neighbor with whom we
shared a driveway. I had been off the patch 1 day. I bought a pack of
smokes because I was so pissed off. Smoked 3, trashed the pack and came
her to post (just like you, in fact).

We put our house on the market the next week and moved 6 months later.
Life's never been better. It was a lot of extra stress, but we did it.

Stress is a motherfucker of a trigger -- almost all my quits were blown
this way (I blew a 6 month charmer quit with 'just one').

You'll be fine. Stay strong.

Fighting kids is a trigger -- next time give them time-outs AND yourself
one. Find some relaxation techniques that work for you (deep breathing,
counting breath, etc).

No guilt -- we're human. And one of the good parts of our humanity is
the support and caring we give and receive here AS3.

You can do it, Inky! Take heart!

Cheers and Big Hugs,
Marvin

I have been quit for 2 Years, 9 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 8 hours, 6
minutes and 28 seconds (1,032 days). I have saved $5,368.14 by not
smoking 13,420 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Month, 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 14
hours and 20 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 8/23/2004 8:00 AM

--
I don't smoke. I smell like bread. Life is Good.

These are your own words of encouragement. Thought you might want to
see how you've been helping others. Now it's your time for a bit of
help.

On assorted days, Inky <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote:

>You can be way smarter than the nicotine because it got no mind
>at all, it's IQ is 0.

> You are arguing with yourself!

>What I do when I get another craving is take a deep breath,
>acknowledge the crave and let it be.

>I defenitely don't wanna start all over again.

Hang in there. This isn't a race to see who comes in first. Just being
in the race is enough for now.

((((Inky))))

Gary W.
--

it's ok, it happens (shit happens) just make sure that you learn something
from it. reset your meter and have another go. the last thing you need is to
stress yourself out even more so chill out and get back with the program.

and you're not really back at square one cus you had a quit going and you
can do it again. you're starting to learn to live without smoking and it is
a process.

you may need to learn to walk away from some situations to give yourself a
bit of space.

be good
richard



"Inky" <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1182455956.691023.238220@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
THE ONE that kills me :/

Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
(( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (

Inky,

Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
smoked, saving ? 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

On 21 Jun, 20:59, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
> last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
> dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
> WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
> been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
> smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
> attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
> THE ONE that kills me :/
>
> Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
> fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
> (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
> square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
> Inky,
>
> Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
> smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

Hi inky
Come on girl, back to it, we can go through an endless string of FWD
if you want and I know you don't want to go through that also we all
don't want you to give up quitting. It's not a test, there is no pass
mark try again.
regards Chris

On 21 jun, 22:22, Gary W. <jd123_marq...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> These are your own words of encouragement. Thought you might want to
> see how you've been helping others. Now it's your time for a bit of
> help.
>
> On assorted days, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >You can be way smarter than the nicotine because it got no mind
> >at all, it's IQ is 0.
> > You are arguing with yourself!
> >What I do when I get another craving is take a deep breath,
> >acknowledge the crave and let it be.
> >I defenitely don't wanna start all over again.
>
> Hang in there. This isn't a race to see who comes in first. Just being
> in the race is enough for now.
>
> ((((Inky))))
>
> Gary W.
> --

I just feel so stupid.. Beaten by an IQ of 0 It wasn't like I
didn't know what I was doing. But I kept looking for reasons not to
smoke that one outside myself, I forgot to look INSIDE.

On 21 jun, 22:57, eightpans <chrisco...@googlemail.com> wrote:
> On 21 Jun, 20:59, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> > fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
> > last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
> > dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
> > WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
> > been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
> > smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
> > attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
> > THE ONE that kills me :/
>
> > Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
> > fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
> > (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
> > square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
> > Inky,
>
> > Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
> > smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.
>
> Hi inky
> Come on girl, back to it, we can go through an endless string of FWD
> if you want and I know you don't want to go through that

Hell no!! It's 3 hours ago now and I'm craving like shit now.. I only
feel confident enough now to reply some because my SO is right here in
the room with me now. He wasn't home earlyer so I spent my time in the
bedroom again, my "always has been no smoking zone".

> also we all
> don't want you to give up quitting. It's not a test, there is no pass
> mark try again.
> regards Chris

There's no get free out of jail card either, is there?

It wasn't a dark and stormy night when Inky wrote:

> I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a
> backdoor last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a
> crappy weekend the dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good
> time to quit" I mean WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day
> after day..

Inky, that doc is a fuckwit where this is concerned, ok? Like that
wanker Mercola who says the same type of thing online. *Now* wasn't
a good time for me to quit either, that perfect time both your and
my doc think exists is out there in a different dimension. We can't
wait for it but that doc sure as hell *could* properly medicate
your anxiety! I'm using 2x 1mg per day aginst panic disorder with
agoraphobia (and a bunch of assorted phobias but they're just
weird), and what do you get? I could really kick him!

> Today my kids been at eachother's throats the whole
> FUCKING day long!! I had it! I smoked! ( Now I had to reset my
> meter, been fighting a fucking panic attack for the past 2
> hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one", THE ONE that
> kills me :/

{{{Inky}}} It wasn't the "one"... don't let this feed your panic:
that's not how you'll get past this. Remember you got to FWD once,
you *can* do it again but this time even better!

> Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one
> I'm fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY
> QUIT! : (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO
> MORE! Back to square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (

Hey, the quit ain't busted till you quit quitting! If you gave up
now I'd call it a busted quit... this was a hiccup and you'll drink
your water and get over it. {{{Inky}}}

And please don't hate yourself... hate the addiction, the doc's
dumb remark, the tobacco. You can accept and own this slip without
hating yourself for it, please love yourself enough to forgive
yourself?

On 21 jun, 22:38, "Richard" <rva...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> it's ok, it happens (shit happens) just make sure that you learn something
> from it. reset your meter and have another go. the last thing you need is to
> stress yourself out even more so chill out and get back with the program.

Yup! I learned I felt even worse with the nicotine in my system.

> and you're not really back at square one cus you had a quit going and you
> can do it again. you're starting to learn to live without smoking and it is
> a process.

Well, back to square one in getting rid of the nicotine again.

> you may need to learn to walk away from some situations to give yourself a
> bit of space.

It's hard to walk away from a 7y/o and 10y/o, who are killing
eachother. :/ Just another hard day tomorrow when my SO is gonna be
home late again, then it looks good for at least 2 months early
shift and vacation time, so at least, I won't have to deal with them 2
angels alone. ;-)

On 21 jun, 22:03, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
> (((Inky)))
>
> Read my earlier post about the NicoDemon. This is such a struggle for
> ALL of us. And believe me, I know how it can eat at you.
>
> Hang in there. I'm sending really good wishes your way, all the way
> across the ocean. Maybe we can reset our meters together....
>
> Ashley

Thanks Ashley I gotta take more heed to being ENDOWed #3 of 13 I
guess. Tho I still wanna be SevenOfNine! ;-)

On 21 Jun, 22:11, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On 21 jun, 22:57, eightpans <chrisco...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On 21 Jun, 20:59, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> > > fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
> > > last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
> > > dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
> > > WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
> > > been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
> > > smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
> > > attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
> > > THE ONE that kills me :/
>
> > > Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
> > > fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
> > > (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
> > > square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
> > > Inky,
>
> > > Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
> > > smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.
>
> > Hi inky
> > Come on girl, back to it, we can go through an endless string of FWD
> > if you want and I know you don't want to go through that
>
> Hell no!! It's 3 hours ago now and I'm craving like shit now.. I only
> feel confident enough now to reply some because my SO is right here in
> the room with me now. He wasn't home earlyer so I spent my time in the
> bedroom again, my "always has been no smoking zone".
>
> > also we all
> > don't want you to give up quitting. It's not a test, there is no pass
> > mark try again.
> > regards Chris
>
> There's no get free out of jail card either, is there?

Hi Inky

snip

There's no get free out of jail card either, is there?

No poppet if I had one I'd send it. All our words, all our cheering
when you reach that point when it's you and your addiction it's a
lonely place.
Kind Regards Chris

"Inky" <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1182455956.691023.238220@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
THE ONE that kills me :/

Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
(( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (

Inky,

Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
smoked, saving ? 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

AWWWWWWWWW!!!! ((((((((((Inky)))))))))) Sorry you busted your quit. But
I am very proud of you for getting right back to it. I don't know how to
help you deal with the panic attacks, can't really deal with my own yet.
But I know you can do this. Just remember what the doc said and
accidentally kick him in the nuts next time he is checking your reflexes.
How old are your kids? Ours is 13 and we talked with him before we quit
that we were going to be a little short tempered for the next while. Not
fair to him, but we stressed that when we were getting overwhelmed, we would
say a "safety word" and everyone would go to their respective safe areas
and read or pull their hair out or whatever it took to calm down. I don't
know if that would work for you. But you could try making yourself a "safe
zone" where you could go to de-stress without cigarettes and make it off
limits to everyone but you. Make a list of what you could do rather than
smoke and do that instead. I'm just rambling here, but I hope you maybe see
something that could help you in all this. I am pulling for you, Inky!

Sarah

Hi Inky, your doctor kicked in the backdoor? I don't get that.

maybe you need a quit aid to help you along the way .

--
Lynn <---VOF Leaper

"Inky" <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1182455956.691023.238220@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
THE ONE that kills me :/

Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
(( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (

Inky,

Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
smoked, saving ? 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

On 21 Jun, 22:38, eightpans <chrisco...@googlemail.com> wrote:
> On 21 Jun, 22:11, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On 21 jun, 22:57, eightpans <chrisco...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> > > On 21 Jun, 20:59, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> > > > fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
> > > > last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
> > > > dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
> > > > WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
> > > > been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
> > > > smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
> > > > attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
> > > > THE ONE that kills me :/
>
> > > > Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
> > > > fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
> > > > (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
> > > > square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
> > > > Inky,
>
> > > > Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
> > > > smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.
>
> > > Hi inky
> > > Come on girl, back to it, we can go through an endless string of FWD
> > > if you want and I know you don't want to go through that
>
> > Hell no!! It's 3 hours ago now and I'm craving like shit now.. I only
> > feel confident enough now to reply some because my SO is right here in
> > the room with me now. He wasn't home earlyer so I spent my time in the
> > bedroom again, my "always has been no smoking zone".
>
> > > also we all
> > > don't want you to give up quitting. It's not a test, there is no pass
> > > mark try again.
> > > regards Chris
>
> > There's no get free out of jail card either, is there?
>
> Hi Inky
>
> snip
>
> There's no get free out of jail card either, is there?
>
> No poppet if I had one I'd send it. All our words, all our cheering
> when you reach that point when it's you and your addiction it's a
> lonely place.
> Kind Regards Chris

FYI when I reached that point AS3 helped me through it. The getting
there can be a fucker though.

On Jun 21, 3:59?pm, Inky <Ink...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I soo fucking hate myself now!

GOOD! ME TOO!!

I so fucking hate you right now too, Inky!

Do you feel it?

Here, let us wallow in a mutual HATRED of all that is YOU for just a
second or two.

....

....

Did you feel that too?

....

My GOD, but that was taxing.

Would you mind very much if I stopped hating you now?

I mean, if you've got the stamina to keep hating yourself, please feel
free to do so, but frankly I've had just about all I can handle. Hate
takes practice, and I'm under rather severe time constraints at the
moment, and simply haven't the time necessary to continue hating you
properly.

Quitting smoking is simply a process, Inky. Of course it's not a
simple process, but it's still simply a process. You know what a
process is don't you? You should. You're smack dab in the middle of
one.

Give yourself a fucking break, why doncha? I'm not gonna say there's
anything "good" or "bad" about a meter, but you certainly must realize
that a meter is essentially a measuring stick, and an arbitrary one at
that. Nothing more, nothing less. Haven't you heard? It's not the
SIZE of the meter that matters.

So you smoked. Big deal.

At least you haven't killed you kids yet.

That says something.

-hi-

On 21 jun, 23:54, "Lynn" <lynn.sc...@ns.spammenotsympatico.ca> wrote:
> Hi Inky, your doctor kicked in the backdoor? I don't get that.
>
> maybe you need a quit aid to help you along the way .

I prepared myself very well, mentally, that there would be no excuses
to smoke, no matter what. I didn't leave any backdoor open for the
nicodemon to sneak back in. But then my very own GP told me that maybe
it wasn't a good time for me to quit, since I was having such a hard
time over the weekend. That was teh cue for nicodemon to start feeding
my doubts again. With 2 hyperactive kids fighting all day long, that
is where it got me.

Due to my medications for panic disorder, the only aid for me would be
NRT, wich is an absolute no no for me. Just double stress, quit
smoking, then try quit NRT.. Well, my alarm clock goes off at 7am.
That's what I'll reset my meter to. Yeh, I just smoked one again..
gawd it tastes awfull!

Inky,

I will quit smoking in 6 hours, 49 minutes and 30 seconds.

Inky,

Set that alarm clock 1 hour early and use the extra time to take a
walk. Listen to the birds and all the morning sounds. Listen to your
own breathing and foot steps. Everything around you and everything you
hear was made without cigs. Walk and think about it.

Gary W.
--

On Thu, 21 Jun 2007 15:12:51 -0700, Inky <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote:
>... Well, my alarm clock goes off at 7am.
>That's what I'll reset my meter to. Yeh, I just smoked one again..
>gawd it tastes awfull!
>
>Inky,
>
>I will quit smoking in 6 hours, 49 minutes and 30 seconds.
>
>

On Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:59:16 -0700, Inky <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote:

>I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
>fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
>last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
>dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
>WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
>been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
>smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
>attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
>THE ONE that kills me :/
>
>Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
>fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
>(( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
>square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
>Inky,
>
>Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
>smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

Well, don't hate yourself and don't hate your doctor. Hate the cigs.
That's OK.
Get on with it. Keep trying. Hopefully, for you there is such a
thing as "just one".
Sue
One year, three months, 20 hours, 59 minutes and 6 seconds. 15109
cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,515.79. Life saved: 7 weeks, 3 days,
11 hours, 5 minutes.

Inky,I am sorry you busted your quit,but i am glad you got right back to
it!!You are lucky!! If I were to bust mine,I wouldnt be able to stop at one
or two. Every time I have busted I have always gone back to full time
smoking for awhile and it takes me aawhile to get up the desire to quit
again. Im glad you didnt do that!!
Becky
Two weeks, five days, 2 hours, 10 minutes and 59 seconds. 954 cigarettes not
smoked, saving $88.77. Life saved: 3 days, 7 hours, 30 minutes.

"Inky" <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1182455956.691023.238220@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
THE ONE that kills me :/

Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
(( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (

Inky,

Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
smoked, saving ? 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

Good for you to get back on track right away. My two failed attempts
were years apart, I never had the courage to quit so soon after. Don't
be so hard on yourself, you'll get there.

Jbeth.
7M+




Inky <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote in news:1182455956.691023.238220
@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com:

> I soo fucking hate myself now! I hate my doctor and I hate those
> fucking cigarettes! That dumbfuck doctor of mine kicked in a backdoor
> last monday. I had them all hammered shut! After a crappy weekend the
> dipshit tells me "well, maybe it isn't a good time to quit" I mean
> WTF?!?!?! But it's been eating at me day after day.. Today my kids
> been at eachother's throats the whole FUCKING day long!! I had it! I
> smoked! ( Now I had to reset my meter, been fighting a fucking panic
> attack for the past 2 hours, so scared this cigarette was "the one",
> THE ONE that kills me :/
>
> Can I pretend it never happened? Who am I kidding? The only one I'm
> fooling is myself. No sense in lying or hiding.. I BUSTED MY QUIT! :
> (( I feel so bad I'm crying now FOR FUCK's SAKE! NO MORE! Back to
> square one, back to day one.. bye bye FWD (
>
> Inky,
>
> Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
> smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.
>

Inky <InkyNL@gmail.com> wrote:

>Inky,
>
>Quitting again since 1 hour, 58 minutes and 50 seconds. 2 stinkers not
>smoked, saving € 0,26 (that's euros =P ). Life saved: 10 minutes.

Forget what happened and look ahead.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Inky))))))))))))))))))))))) )))

--
Tihomir
*I don't smoke anymore*

.... Can you see it Joker? It's written all over my face.