Just got in tonight

>From going out with a group of people.
Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
where...
Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
BEING THERE !!!

WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
fucking be there !!!!!

I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
I feel so bad that I did that to myself.

Fuck that shit !!!
I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
AROUND WITH....

Fuck it....
Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -

THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
feeling better having written this out)

Steve
One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
hours, 5 minutes.

Know exactly what you mean, I stopped going out for dinner and drinks with a
few guys I would occasionally hang out with because we always ended up at a
bar with the two of them smoking cigars. I would get home and want to burn
my clothes. I felt the same way after the last time I went out with them
even though I didn't really want to go, I was pissed at myself for
subjecting myself to that. I decided that I didn't want to deal with that
anymore, so I stopped going. You have to be a bit selfish and self centered,
specially when you first quit.

GregB
7 years + some
--
Epitaph - I'll try harder next time.

"SilentNight" <M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1185592079.785457.43000@d55g2000hsg.googlegro ups.com...
> >From going out with a group of people.
> Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
> hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
> Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
> where...
> Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
> BEING THERE !!!
>
> WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
> fucking be there !!!!!
>
> I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
> I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
> Fuck that shit !!!
> I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
> AROUND WITH....
>
> Fuck it....
> Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
> Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
> COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
> someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
> THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> feeling better having written this out)
>
> Steve
> One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
> 1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
> hours, 5 minutes.
>

Know exactly what you mean, I stopped going out for dinner and drinks with a
few guys I would occasionally hang out with because we always ended up at a
bar with the two of them smoking cigars. I would get home and want to burn
my clothes. I felt the same way after the last time I went out with them
even though I didn't really want to go, I was pissed at myself for
subjecting myself to that. I decided that I didn't want to deal with that
anymore, so I stopped going. You have to be a bit selfish and self centered,
specially when you first quit.

GregB
7 years + some
--
Epitaph - I'll try harder next time.

"SilentNight" <M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1185592079.785457.43000@d55g2000hsg.googlegro ups.com...
> >From going out with a group of people.
> Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
> hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
> Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
> where...
> Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
> BEING THERE !!!
>
> WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
> fucking be there !!!!!
>
> I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
> I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
> Fuck that shit !!!
> I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
> AROUND WITH....
>
> Fuck it....
> Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
> Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
> COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
> someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
> THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> feeling better having written this out)
>
> Steve
> One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
> 1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
> hours, 5 minutes.
>

Once upon a time, SilentNight said:

>THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
>feeling better having written this out)

Hold tight bro. Don't smoke and be yourself. You've made the best
choice you possibly could.

--
Tihomir *I don't smoke anymore*
Remove my shirt to E-mail me.
IRC chat: #nosmokers at irc.starlink.org

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." -- Mario Andretti

Once upon a time, SilentNight said:

>THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
>feeling better having written this out)

Hold tight bro. Don't smoke and be yourself. You've made the best
choice you possibly could.

--
Tihomir *I don't smoke anymore*
Remove my shirt to E-mail me.
IRC chat: #nosmokers at irc.starlink.org

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." -- Mario Andretti

On Jul 28, 5:21 am, Tihomir <tgrebenash...@inet.hr> wrote:
> Once upon a time, SilentNight said:
>
> >THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> >feeling better having written this out)
>
> Hold tight bro. Don't smoke and be yourself. You've made the best
> choice you possibly could.
>
> --
> Tihomir *I don't smoke anymore*
> Remove my shirt to E-mail me.
> IRC chat: #nosmokers at irc.starlink.org
>
> "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." -- Mario Andretti

Thanks Greg....it sucks when we are not being true to ourselves.

Tiho - thank you...it was good to get out, but the choice in people
may not have been the best 'for me'.

On Jul 28, 5:21 am, Tihomir <tgrebenash...@inet.hr> wrote:
> Once upon a time, SilentNight said:
>
> >THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> >feeling better having written this out)
>
> Hold tight bro. Don't smoke and be yourself. You've made the best
> choice you possibly could.
>
> --
> Tihomir *I don't smoke anymore*
> Remove my shirt to E-mail me.
> IRC chat: #nosmokers at irc.starlink.org
>
> "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." -- Mario Andretti

Thanks Greg....it sucks when we are not being true to ourselves.

Tiho - thank you...it was good to get out, but the choice in people
may not have been the best 'for me'.

Being in a bar with all those smokers - you passed a *huge* test. You
should feel very proud of yourself. Situations like that have busted
many a quit.
Sue

On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 20:07:59 -0700, SilentNight
<M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote:

>>From going out with a group of people.
>Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
>hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
>Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
>where...
>Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
>BEING THERE !!!
>
>WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
>fucking be there !!!!!
>
>I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
>I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
>Fuck that shit !!!
>I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
>AROUND WITH....
>
>Fuck it....
>Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
>Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
>COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
>someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
>THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
>feeling better having written this out)
>
>Steve
>One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
>1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
>hours, 5 minutes.

Being in a bar with all those smokers - you passed a *huge* test. You
should feel very proud of yourself. Situations like that have busted
many a quit.
Sue

On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 20:07:59 -0700, SilentNight
<M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote:

>>From going out with a group of people.
>Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
>hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
>Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
>where...
>Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
>BEING THERE !!!
>
>WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
>fucking be there !!!!!
>
>I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
>I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
>Fuck that shit !!!
>I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
>AROUND WITH....
>
>Fuck it....
>Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
>Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
>COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
>someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
>THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
>feeling better having written this out)
>
>Steve
>One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
>1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
>hours, 5 minutes.

Steve,
sounds like a few turbulent days have come your way this past week.
It can be exhausting, and will take some time getting used to the "new
way" you will be doing things. You are doing great though, just keep
going and things WILL balance out with time. I like the way you're
posting here, everyone here knows of what you speak and is capable of
great empathy, so it is a safe place to spout off if the need arises.

have fun be brave
Paul

Steve,
sounds like a few turbulent days have come your way this past week.
It can be exhausting, and will take some time getting used to the "new
way" you will be doing things. You are doing great though, just keep
going and things WILL balance out with time. I like the way you're
posting here, everyone here knows of what you speak and is capable of
great empathy, so it is a safe place to spout off if the need arises.

have fun be brave
Paul

{{{{{{{{{{{{Steve}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

The situation you described does sound like an evening from Hell. You
did great by hanging tuff and then getting the anger out by ranting
here. Good job. Becoming smober brings a lot of changes in our lives
and learning when to say no is a big part of it.

Hang Tuff
Don't Puff!

FlatironMike
StayathomeMan
Five months, two weeks, three days, 15 hours, 56 minutes and 56
seconds. 3353 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,005.73. Life saved: 1
week, 4 days, 15 hours, 25 minutes.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Steve}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

The situation you described does sound like an evening from Hell. You
did great by hanging tuff and then getting the anger out by ranting
here. Good job. Becoming smober brings a lot of changes in our lives
and learning when to say no is a big part of it.

Hang Tuff
Don't Puff!

FlatironMike
StayathomeMan
Five months, two weeks, three days, 15 hours, 56 minutes and 56
seconds. 3353 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,005.73. Life saved: 1
week, 4 days, 15 hours, 25 minutes.

Steve,

I'm sorry that you had a rough night. But I also want to thank you for
sharing it with us. When people with more time than me post about
whatever the fuck it is that's going on, it helps me see what's ahead
for me and either avoid it, or be prepared for it. To borrow and butcher
a phrase "Those who don't read and post ain't around to find out what
happens to those who don't read and post"

Concord Phil
I haven't smoked in 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours, 29 minutes and 51 seconds
and that means that the TC and the taxman didn't get $100.50 of my
money. The TC gets to keep 402 sickarettes and I get to spend an extra 1
Day, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life hangin' out with people I care about.

SilentNight wrote:
>>From going out with a group of people.
> Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
> hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
> Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
> where...
> Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
> BEING THERE !!!
>
> WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
> fucking be there !!!!!
>
> I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
> I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
> Fuck that shit !!!
> I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
> AROUND WITH....
>
> Fuck it....
> Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
> Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
> COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
> someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
> THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> feeling better having written this out)
>
> Steve
> One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
> 1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
> hours, 5 minutes.
>

Steve,

I'm sorry that you had a rough night. But I also want to thank you for
sharing it with us. When people with more time than me post about
whatever the fuck it is that's going on, it helps me see what's ahead
for me and either avoid it, or be prepared for it. To borrow and butcher
a phrase "Those who don't read and post ain't around to find out what
happens to those who don't read and post"

Concord Phil
I haven't smoked in 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours, 29 minutes and 51 seconds
and that means that the TC and the taxman didn't get $100.50 of my
money. The TC gets to keep 402 sickarettes and I get to spend an extra 1
Day, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life hangin' out with people I care about.

SilentNight wrote:
>>From going out with a group of people.
> Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
> hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
> Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
> where...
> Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
> BEING THERE !!!
>
> WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
> fucking be there !!!!!
>
> I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
> I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
> Fuck that shit !!!
> I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
> AROUND WITH....
>
> Fuck it....
> Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
> Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
> COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
> someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
> THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> feeling better having written this out)
>
> Steve
> One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
> 1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
> hours, 5 minutes.
>

On Jul 28, 5:00 pm, ConcordPhil <nob...@verizon.net> wrote:
> Steve,
>
> I'm sorry that you had a rough night. But I also want to thank you for
> sharing it with us. When people with more time than me post about
> whatever the fuck it is that's going on, it helps me see what's ahead
> for me and either avoid it, or be prepared for it. To borrow and butcher
> a phrase "Those who don't read and post ain't around to find out what
> happens to those who don't read and post"
>
> Concord Phil
> I haven't smoked in 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours, 29 minutes and 51 seconds
> and that means that the TC and the taxman didn't get $100.50 of my
> money. The TC gets to keep 402 sickarettes and I get to spend an extra 1
> Day, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life hangin' out with people I care about.
>
>
>
> SilentNight wrote:
> >>From going out with a group of people.
> > Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
> > hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
> > Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
> > where...
> > Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
> > BEING THERE !!!
>
> > WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
> > fucking be there !!!!!
>
> > I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
> > I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
> > Fuck that shit !!!
> > I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
> > AROUND WITH....
>
> > Fuck it....
> > Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
> > Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
> > COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
> > someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
> > THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> > feeling better having written this out)
>
> > Steve
> > One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
> > 1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
> > hours, 5 minutes.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Phil - thank you bud - keep going - your doing great !

thanks IronMike....yep..its tough...and sometimes, some of these new
experiences, brings up OLD SHIT...
shit that I'd sooner like to forget.

'TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE !!! "

Steve

One month, one week, five days, 4 hours, 54 minutes and 45 seconds.
1055 cigarettes not smoked, saving $168.82. Life saved: 3 days, 15
hours, 55 minutes.

On Jul 28, 5:00 pm, ConcordPhil <nob...@verizon.net> wrote:
> Steve,
>
> I'm sorry that you had a rough night. But I also want to thank you for
> sharing it with us. When people with more time than me post about
> whatever the fuck it is that's going on, it helps me see what's ahead
> for me and either avoid it, or be prepared for it. To borrow and butcher
> a phrase "Those who don't read and post ain't around to find out what
> happens to those who don't read and post"
>
> Concord Phil
> I haven't smoked in 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours, 29 minutes and 51 seconds
> and that means that the TC and the taxman didn't get $100.50 of my
> money. The TC gets to keep 402 sickarettes and I get to spend an extra 1
> Day, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life hangin' out with people I care about.
>
>
>
> SilentNight wrote:
> >>From going out with a group of people.
> > Met at some Bar restaurant place on the water - Fucking rain storm
> > hit ...and that was about the time I showed up...
> > Fucking drinking and partying and fucking smoking everyfucking
> > where...
> > Fucking couldnt even breathe...all I felt was MYSELF getting angry FOR
> > BEING THERE !!!
>
> > WHY THE FUCK WAS I PUTTING MYSELF IN THAT PLACE....when I didnt wanna
> > fucking be there !!!!!
>
> > I was selling myself out...just to 'Fit In'...I ABANDONED MYSELF...and
> > I feel so bad that I did that to myself.
>
> > Fuck that shit !!!
> > I dont need to find approval with people I DONT EVEN WANT TO HANG
> > AROUND WITH....
>
> > Fuck it....
> > Kept feeling like I 'needed' a smoke - WELL FUCK THAT......Fuck THat
> > Life...I dont smoke...and I WILL CHOOSE NOW WHO I WILL HAVE AS MY
> > COMPANY OF FRIENDS.........I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.,..and if
> > someone doesnt like My CHOICES....well...I dont give a flying Fuck -
>
> > THATS HOW I FEEL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Im pissed off too ! (but
> > feeling better having written this out)
>
> > Steve
> > One month, one week, four days, 8 hours, 16 minutes and 49 seconds.
> > 1033 cigarettes not smoked, saving $165.38. Life saved: 3 days, 14
> > hours, 5 minutes.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Phil - thank you bud - keep going - your doing great !

thanks IronMike....yep..its tough...and sometimes, some of these new
experiences, brings up OLD SHIT...
shit that I'd sooner like to forget.

'TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE !!! "

Steve

One month, one week, five days, 4 hours, 54 minutes and 45 seconds.
1055 cigarettes not smoked, saving $168.82. Life saved: 3 days, 15
hours, 55 minutes.