My Mom Has Diags (Update)

Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
point. We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.

She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
frightened, - a stranger.

I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To
watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
of total dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living
will. My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother
does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
invaded her once healthy body.

I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
so serious.

I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
crying - still strong.

x0x0x0
thanks NG
/Bev





We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.




--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Hi Bev,

just seen your posts. my heart goes out to you and i wish you the strength
to get through this tragedy.
i really don't know what else to say, i can only imagine how hard things
must be at this time for all of you.

xx



"BSDGAL" <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
news:h2hkps$8hk$1@news.eternal-september.org...
> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway point.
> We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened so fast
> that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't recall
> the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to that.
> Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated, frightened, -
> a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To watch
> a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state of total
> dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living will. My
> brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother does not
> want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions. She is
> weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has invaded her
> once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am so
> serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with end
> of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
>
>
>
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> robbster | OOF

On Jul 2, 2:37*am, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
> Each day keeps getting worse. *My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. *My butt hurts from
> all the driving. *We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
> point. *We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
> so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
> recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
> that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
> frightened, - a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... *To
> watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
> of total dependency is heartbreaking. *My mother did not write a living
> will. *My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. *My mother
> does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
> She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
> invaded her once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
> so serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
> end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
> --
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> * * * * * * ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> * * * * * * * robbster *| *OOF

Hugs and soothing thoughts wafting to you, Bev. You are so right
about the living will; everyone should make one when in good health
and good spirits. I did one 12 years ago when I had to have a hip
replacement. As I recall, it was required by the hospital; if not
required, at least recommended. My ex-husband, who lived always
entirely in the moment, had never made any kind of will, and now our
two sons are still sorting through his effects trying to make sense of
things. They were both with him when he died and it was very hard on
them. At the end, he was in a coma so they had to make the hard
decisions for him.

One of them is here with me this morning. He will be joining his
brother later today at their father's house, up in the Catskill
Mountains, still trying to sort through his years of letting things
just pile up around him. They are his only heirs; there is no other
family to make any claims so it looks like clear sailing. One thing I
am glad they have found: many years of family photographs that he
took but never bothered to have printed up. Those are the only things
I am asking them to retrieve for me. It's weird to see photos of the
person you were 35 years ago when those boys were young. One of them
has been staying with me this week; he lives in Chicago and I am in
NYC. He had some business in New York earlier this week and now he
and his girl friend will go up to the Catskills for a few days to
continue this work. My other son and his wife drove over there from
his home in Connecticut yesterday, so they will be together to maybe
get this job closer to being finished.

I will be thinking of you, Bev, and what you and your family are going
through.

Be strong. And whatever you do, don't smoke.

Love, Joyce
11 years+

On Jul 2, 2:37*am, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
> Each day keeps getting worse. *My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. *My butt hurts from
> all the driving. *We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
> point. *We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
> so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
> recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
> that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
> frightened, - a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... *To
> watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
> of total dependency is heartbreaking. *My mother did not write a living
> will. *My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. *My mother
> does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
> She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
> invaded her once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
> so serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
> end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
> --
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> * * * * * * ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> * * * * * * * robbster *| *OOF

Stay strong and hoping for the best for all of you.

((((Bev)))))

On Jul 2, 2:37*am, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
> Each day keeps getting worse. *My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. *My butt hurts from
> all the driving. *We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
> point. *We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
> so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
> recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
> that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
> frightened, - a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... *To
> watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
> of total dependency is heartbreaking. *My mother did not write a living
> will. *My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. *My mother
> does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
> She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
> invaded her once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
> so serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
> end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
> --
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> * * * * * * ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> * * * * * * * robbster *| *OOF

I'm so sorry to hear that and also sorry to say that I can somewhat
relate.

My MIL put me in the hospital with her antics from parkinsons, she has
it now for 10 years, just turned 96. She is in a assisted living
facility now, thank God for those angles.

You must take care of yourself and also your brother. Being a
caregiver is one of the most draining jobs. Take time out every day
at least 10 min. just for yourself, if you do nothing else but sit
quietly.

I will ad your family to my prayerlist.
Love Lizzy

"BSDGAL" <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
news:h2hkps$8hk$1@news.eternal-september.org...
> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway point.
> We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened so fast
> that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't recall
> the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to that.
> Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated, frightened, -
> a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To watch
> a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state of total
> dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living will. My
> brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother does not
> want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions. She is
> weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has invaded her
> once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am so
> serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with end
> of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev

We are going through a similar thing with my mom, although she just has
Alzheimer's and had a mini-stroke back in October. We had to move her to a
retirement home that has a memory unit as they call it. Just stick close by
your brother and deal as best you can. They say that incidents like this can
tear a family apart and I can see why. It's hard to see somebody go through
this, I remember my mom as a very resourceful and independent person and now
she wears a diaper and can hardly get around. Luckily she had all her stuff
easily accessible and I lived with her for almost a year before the stroke
so I got things in order as best I could. It's not easy and they say that
there is a reason for everything, but you have to wonder.


GregB
9 years

On Jul 2, 1:37*am, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
> Each day keeps getting worse. *My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. *My butt hurts from
> all the driving. *We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
> point. *We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
> so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
> recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
> that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
> frightened, - a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... *To
> watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
> of total dependency is heartbreaking. *My mother did not write a living
> will. *My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. *My mother
> does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
> She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
> invaded her once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
> so serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
> end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
> --
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> * * * * * * ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> * * * * * * * robbster *| *OOF

Bless the three of you..

Bless you, Bev....hope you are able to spend as much time as you
possibly can with your Mom. My MIL had a stroke and lost the ability
to swallow anything. She gave up and refused to take anything by IV.
She had already wasted away to 72 lbs so it didn't take long for her
to leave. Although I work with Hospice, it's never easy to lose a
loved one or client. You are in my thoughts and prayers....

Sally

On Thu, 02 Jul 2009 02:37:35 -0400, BSDGAL <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote:

>Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
>from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
>all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
>point. We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
>so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
>She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
>recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
>that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
>frightened, - a stranger.
>
>I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To
>watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
>of total dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living
>will. My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother
>does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
>She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
>invaded her once healthy body.
>
>I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
>so serious.
>
>I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
>from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
>health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
>end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
>crying - still strong.
>
>x0x0x0
>thanks NG
>/Bev
>
>
>
>
>
>We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.

I'm so sorry Bev. Prayers for all of you - healing, sleep, rest, peace -
Hugs,
Kathleen

"BSDGAL" <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
news:h2hkps$8hk$1@news.eternal-september.org...
> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway point.
> We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened so fast
> that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't recall
> the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to that.
> Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated, frightened, -
> a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To watch
> a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state of total
> dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living will. My
> brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother does not
> want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions. She is
> weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has invaded her
> once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am so
> serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with end
> of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
>
>
>
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> robbster | OOF

{{{{{{{Bev}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

All I can do is send hugs your way, Bev. My mother had Alzheimer's
and it was rough on my sister as she lived nearby and saw here often
at the nursing home she was in. As others said, do take some time
just *for you* each day as caregiving is very draining.

FlatironMike
Two years, four months, three weeks, 14 hours, 40 minutes and 47
seconds. 17452 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,235.42. Life saved: 8
weeks, 4 days, 14 hours, 20 minutes.

Instead of taking 48 puffs of smoke, BSDGAL spoketh upon us:

>I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
>from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
>health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
>end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
>crying - still strong.

Ready or not, life throws us into situations nobody ever made us ready
for.
Try making the best of it, strengthening the bond with your brothers!

--
Tihomir 2Y, Knin, HR 44°N 16°E
http://www.quitbuddies.org

Quote 8212 of 9167:
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep
better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen

(((Bev))) Stay strong.

"BSDGAL" <> schreef in bericht ...
> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway
> point. We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened
> so fast that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't
> recall the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to
> that. Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated,
> frightened, - a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To
> watch a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state
> of total dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living
> will. My brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother
> does not want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions.
> She is weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has
> invaded her once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am
> so serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
> end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
>
>
>
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> robbster | OOF

(((((Robbb)))))

Everyone has said all the words, just know I am sending you loving and
strengthening thoughts from Australia...

Hugz...

Brenny

there is no magic energy drink what will zap a heart that is breaking. eat
well, sleep and get some sunshine when possible. Wait on moving her.
don't blame your brother for wanting your mom to eat. it is natural ~his way
to cope. the other brother.. well we all have one of those
--
Lynn OOF+ Leaper

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end
of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."



"BSDGAL" <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
news:h2hkps$8hk$1@news.eternal-september.org...
> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway point.
> We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened so fast
> that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't recall
> the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to that.
> Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated, frightened, -
> a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To watch
> a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state of total
> dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living will. My
> brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother does not
> want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions. She is
> weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has invaded her
> once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am so
> serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with end
> of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
>
>
>
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> robbster | OOF
>

Thanks Rich

Richard <rvardy wrote:
> Hi Bev,
>
> just seen your posts. my heart goes out to you and i wish you the strength
> to get through this tragedy.
> i really don't know what else to say, i can only imagine how hard things
> must be at this time for all of you.
>
> xx
>
>
>
> "BSDGAL" <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
> news:h2hkps$8hk$1@news.eternal-september.org...
>> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
>> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
>> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway point.
>> We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened so fast
>> that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>>
>> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't recall
>> the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to that.
>> Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated, frightened, -
>> a stranger.
>>
>> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To watch
>> a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state of total
>> dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living will. My
>> brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother does not
>> want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions. She is
>> weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has invaded her
>> once healthy body.
>>
>> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am so
>> serious.
>>
>> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
>> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
>> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with end
>> of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
>> crying - still strong.
>>
>> x0x0x0
>> thanks NG
>> /Bev
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>>
>>
>> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
>> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
>> robbster | OOF
>
>

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thank you so much Joyce. So many new decisions to make that I am using
what I learned here at AS3 - doing "one day at a time." A living will
is something you will prolly hear from me for a very long time - so sad
that mom did not have one. Sad that your sons had to decide what to do
at the end too.

I received one piece of hopeful news today - that friends high up in the
state are looking over job possibilities so that I can be closer to mom.
I am ever so thankful right now that my brother is 5 minutes from her
- but I feel guilty that distance puts the burden on him.

I am currently using all avenues of support to stay strong. Here at
as3, FB, and my old tech forum has been an online haven (much needed.)
I hope this makes sense. Am so tired that I can barely see straight -
but was thankfully given a personal shift off from the psy hospital for
overnight shift.

I hope that you put all those digital pictures together into an album
and share some with us too

Love ya ((((Joyce)))
/Bev

Thank you (((Marvie))) - I have learned how to stay strong from AS3 and
people like you.



Marvin The Paranoid Android wrote:


>
> Stay strong and hoping for the best for all of you.
>
> ((((Bev)))))

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thanks so much Miz ((((Lizzy))))

She is being evaluated for 8 more days to see where she should be
placed. I am so hoping for an assisted living facility - there are some
really nice ones here in NH. I don't want to see her in a nursing home
- so hanging tight.

Taking time out right now to answer as3 posts and drinking the best cup
of Green Mountain coffee ever

x0x0x0x
/Bev

Lizzy wrote:

>
> I'm so sorry to hear that and also sorry to say that I can somewhat
> relate.
>
> My MIL put me in the hospital with her antics from parkinsons, she has
> it now for 10 years, just turned 96. She is in a assisted living
> facility now, thank God for those angles.
>
> You must take care of yourself and also your brother. Being a
> caregiver is one of the most draining jobs. Take time out every day
> at least 10 min. just for yourself, if you do nothing else but sit
> quietly.
>
> I will ad your family to my prayerlist.
> Love Lizzy

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

On Jul 2, 8:51*pm, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
> Thanks so much Miz ((((Lizzy))))
>
> She is being evaluated for 8 more days to see where she should be
> placed. *I am so hoping for an assisted living facility - there are some
> really nice ones here in NH. *I don't want to see her in a nursing home
> - so hanging tight.
>
> Taking time out right now to answer as3 posts and drinking the best cup
> of Green Mountain coffee ever
>
> x0x0x0x
> /Bev
>
>
>
>
>
> Lizzy wrote:
>
> > I'm so sorry to hear that and also sorry to say that I can somewhat
> > relate.
>
> > My MIL put me in the hospital with her antics from parkinsons, she has
> > it now for 10 years, just turned 96. *She is in a assisted living
> > facility now, thank God for those angles.
>
> > You must take care of yourself and also your brother. *Being a
> > caregiver is one of the most draining jobs. *Take time out every day
> > at least 10 min. just for yourself, if you do nothing else but sit
> > quietly.
>
> > I will ad your family to my prayerlist.
> > Love Lizzy
>
> --
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> * * * * * * ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> * * * * * * * robbster *| *OOF- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Bev - sweetie - my thoughts & prayers are with you. You are a very
strong person. You will get through this.
Love,
Pam

((((Greg))))

So sorry to hear about your mom. The independence has to be the worst.
I know that my mom was always waiting on people and refused to be
*waited on.* Just yesterday she tried to grab my brothers orange soda
with her good hand - and she could not bring it up to her mouth. Orange
soda was one of her favorite drinks...I think we were all a bit shocked
when she grabbed for the soda because she had been refusing to eat or
drink all day.

Take care of you too
hugs,
/Bev


Gregory Baxter wrote:

>
> We are going through a similar thing with my mom, although she just has
> Alzheimer's and had a mini-stroke back in October. We had to move her to a
> retirement home that has a memory unit as they call it. Just stick close by
> your brother and deal as best you can. They say that incidents like this can
> tear a family apart and I can see why. It's hard to see somebody go through
> this, I remember my mom as a very resourceful and independent person and now
> she wears a diaper and can hardly get around. Luckily she had all her stuff
> easily accessible and I lived with her for almost a year before the stroke
> so I got things in order as best I could. It's not easy and they say that
> there is a reason for everything, but you have to wonder.
>
>
> GregB
> 9 years
>
>

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thanks (((David)))
you are always such a rock in this place

DavidL wrote:

>
> Bless the three of you..

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thanks so much Miz (((Sally)))

We are trying to work things out because we have no idea what will
happen next...

Sally wrote:
> Bless you, Bev....hope you are able to spend as much time as you
> possibly can with your Mom. My MIL had a stroke and lost the ability
> to swallow anything. She gave up and refused to take anything by IV.
> She had already wasted away to 72 lbs so it didn't take long for her
> to leave. Although I work with Hospice, it's never easy to lose a
> loved one or client. You are in my thoughts and prayers....
>
> Sally

Thanks so much Dear Friend x0x00x

Kathleen wrote:
> I'm so sorry Bev. Prayers for all of you - healing, sleep, rest, peace -
> Hugs,
> Kathleen
OOF

Thanks Mike - this Alzheimer's stuff is so unpredictable. We now ask if
it is a good day or a bad day, and six days out of seven have been bad
days...

I think caregiving is so draining because it is so intensively
emotional. Having images of a once healthy mom who used to climb on top
of roofs reduced to this <sigh>

Hug,
/Bev

FlatIronMike wrote:
> {{{{{{{Bev}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
> All I can do is send hugs your way, Bev. My mother had Alzheimer's
> and it was rough on my sister as she lived nearby and saw here often
> at the nursing home she was in. As others said, do take some time
> just *for you* each day as caregiving is very draining.
>
> FlatironMike
> Two years, four months, three weeks, 14 hours, 40 minutes and 47
> seconds. 17452 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,235.42. Life saved: 8
> weeks, 4 days, 14 hours, 20 minutes.

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thanks (((Tiho)))

Tihomir wrote:
> Instead of taking 48 puffs of smoke, BSDGAL spoketh upon us:
>
>> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
>>from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
>> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with
>> end of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
>> crying - still strong.
>
> Ready or not, life throws us into situations nobody ever made us ready
> for.
> Try making the best of it, strengthening the bond with your brothers!
>

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Trying hard!

DutchVanAfoort wrote:
> (((Bev))) Stay strong.
>

Thank you so much sweetie for those big quashy aussie thoughts

x0x0x

Brenny wrote:
> (((((Robbb)))))
>
> Everyone has said all the words, just know I am sending you loving and
> strengthening thoughts from Australia...
>
> Hugz...
>
> Brenny
>

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thanks Lynn - researching where to move her

Lynn wrote:
> there is no magic energy drink what will zap a heart that is breaking. eat
> well, sleep and get some sunshine when possible. Wait on moving her.
> don't blame your brother for wanting your mom to eat. it is natural ~his way
> to cope. the other brother.. well we all have one of those

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

Thanks again for your support (((Pammy)))

MsConserv wrote:

>
> Bev - sweetie - my thoughts & prayers are with you. You are a very
> strong person. You will get through this.
> Love,
> Pam

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

On Jul 3, 3:06*am, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
> Thanks Lynn - researching where to move her

Great. You're doing very well. From my own experience, I would advise
you to research it, but not to the point that it causes indecision and
delay. It isn't an irrevocable decision; if she's going to be in a
nursing facility, you can move her again later if the first one
doesn't work out. You should hopefully be able to get some good
information from the social services people in your area.
>
> Lynn wrote:
> > *there is no magic energy drink what will zap a heart that is breaking. eat
> > well, sleep and get some sunshine when possible.

Yes, all those things. Some Vitamin B won't hurt either, since stress
tends to use it up faster.

> Wait on moving her.
> > don't blame your brother for wanting your mom to eat. it is natural ~his way
> > to cope. the other brother.. well we all have one of those
>
> --
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> * * * * * * ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> * * * * * * * robbster *| *OOF

Thanks Eldon

Eldon wrote:
> On Jul 3, 3:06 am, BSDGAL <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote:
>> Thanks Lynn - researching where to move her
>
> Great. You're doing very well. From my own experience, I would advise
> you to research it, but not to the point that it causes indecision and
> delay. It isn't an irrevocable decision; if she's going to be in a
> nursing facility, you can move her again later if the first one
> doesn't work out. You should hopefully be able to get some good
> information from the social services people in your area.
>> Lynn wrote:
>>> there is no magic energy drink what will zap a heart that is breaking. eat
>>> well, sleep and get some sunshine when possible.
>
> Yes, all those things. Some Vitamin B won't hurt either, since stress
> tends to use it up faster.
>
>> Wait on moving her.
>>> don't blame your brother for wanting your mom to eat. it is natural ~his way
>>> to cope. the other brother.. well we all have one of those
>> --
>>
>> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
>> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
>> robbster | OOF
>

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

my thoughts and prayers are strongly with you, Bev.

I lost my mom suddenly, 34 years ago, and the only way I could deal with it
was to not try to deal with it... my gram told me to keep loving her whether
she was here or not, so that's what I did.

Liz

"BSDGAL" <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
news:h2hkps$8hk$1@news.eternal-september.org...
> Each day keeps getting worse. My poor bro is drained (he lives 5 mins
> from hospital) and I live 2 hours from the hospital. My butt hurts from
> all the driving. We will prolly have to relocate her to a halfway point.
> We are very new at this. So is my mom. Everything has happened so fast
> that we are all still reeling from the impact.
>
> She has a multiple diagnoses: Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (I can't recall
> the acronym right now - rapid onset) - and add a mini-stroke to that.
> Devastating. We can't stand to see her shaking, dehydrated, frightened, -
> a stranger.
>
> I don't think my bro or I ever cried so hard as we did today... To watch
> a healthy vibrant lady from a few months ago - reduced to a state of total
> dependency is heartbreaking. My mother did not write a living will. My
> brother is now fighting to have her eat and drink. My mother does not
> want this and I know this within my heart and via her actions. She is
> weary and afraid and does not like this new *person* that has invaded her
> once healthy body.
>
> I am begging all of you to write a LIVING WILL ASAP - don't delay. I am so
> serious.
>
> I'm drained tonight. I'm hoping that I get one more personal night off
> from the psy hospital for tomorrow overnight shift - if anyone has good
> health tips for energy levels please email - tips for how to deal with end
> of life stuff (please email that too) - still trying to sort - still
> crying - still strong.
>
> x0x0x0
> thanks NG
> /Bev
>
>
>
>
>
> We have one more bro out in Reno who just won't respond and so it goes.
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
>
> When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
> ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
> robbster | OOF

Welcome to the club nobody really wants to join. I know *exactly* what
you're dealing with-- and I wish I could say that wasn't so, but I'm all too
familiar with it. It's confusing, daunting and depressing-- but you've got
to bite the bullet and deal with it.

General advice: Basic, even stupid-sounding... but invaluable, because we
forget under stress: Eat, drink, sleep, communicate, bathe, exercise and try
to relax whenever you can. Do all those things that are necessary for simple
self preservation and physical and emotional nourishment. Your system craves
them all even more when you're overtaxed and overextended, and you'll
deplete yourself much faster than normal. Be sure to check your status
frequently: "Have I had a nap? Do I want a glass of water? Have I talked to
so-and-so? Would a sandwich be a good idea about now?" Otherwise you wind up
staring at a wall, crying and grinding your molars, wondering what happened
to Tuesday and Wednesday, and what you're supposed to be doing next....

Specific advice: Find out about any insurance your mom carries, and begin to
make funeral preparations now. Is there a will? Is your father alive/on the
scene/involved or concerned? Does he have any helpful info? I don't know the
ins and outs of your immediate family situation, but shoot for all the help
you can get.

Are you a co-signatory on any savings or checking accounts w/ Mom? Do you
have the ability to pay her bills or handle her finances? Is there a family
lawyer that can advise you? You'll need to know what to do, and what funds
are available to you, and you'll have to make decisions about the
disposition of... so many things. Does that sound harsh or scary? Yeah; I
know...

When my father went off to live in Bangkok, Saigon, Paris and elsewhere, I
was always afraid that he might die overseas and I'd have no idea what the
hell to do in that situation. I asked him, specifically, what he wanted me
to do if that happened. He gave me the details of his GI and civilian
insurance policies, made me a co-signatory on his bank accounts, and gave me
a copy of his will. He also spelled out in detail his wishes after death:
Cremation, and interment in Arlington National Cemetery. As a vet he was
entitled to that, and the Military folks were extremely helpful with all the
details of that stuff.

Trouble was, by the time I realized he had Alzheimer's, it was maybe 15
years since those instructions were written and I had no idea if some of
them were still valid. I tried asking Pop about them, but he wasn't ablke to
be of any real help, and I basically had to start from scratch. His lawyer
had retired, his insurance situation had changed, and his will hadn't been
updated.

I was able to communicate to him, in his more lucid momewnts, what I was
trying to do, and was able to get him to sign a durable power of attorney
document-- and had it notarized by a very kind and sympathetic woman at his
bank (they liked him a lot, there...) who understood that I was trying to
sort things out. It was very, very helpful.

Slowly but surely, I was able to sift through things and make some headway,
but it took a long time and I was functioning blind for a while.

I'm rambling... It was a hellish time for me, and I thought I'd never be
able to draw a complete breath again without shuddering or sobbing. Some of
this might apply in your case; I don't know. I'm guessing you have more
immediate relationship w/ your mother than I did w/ my father. We were out
of touch for years at a time, which made it hard for me. I discovered that I
could (and did) handle the things that were necessary, by being stubborn and
determined and not being afraid to ask for help whenever I needed it.

You've got guts and spirit aplenty, and you'll surprise yourself at what you
can accomplish. I wish you the very best during what I know will be some of
the hardest moments of your life.

My bro is her DPOA but I am assisting in every way that is humanly
possible right now. Her sister handled most of her financials over time
since mom used to winter in Florida with her. All I know is that overall
it is difficult on the entire family and I can't imagine what my mom is
going through lying there so helpless right now. She also contracted
aspiration pneumonia, which further complicates things. It is a
terrible way to go.

I don't know how you did it, how Leslie did it, how Lynn did it, or how
Mark is still able to maintain. It takes a lot out of a person.

I have been making notes of what to do to at minimum to stay healthy. I
bring my laptop with me to the hospital and some books. I think if she
just hears a calm voice reading to her that this may comfort her. I
don't really know. This is all brand new territory.

Take care Jef - I am glad that your life is calmer now
Oh and we must shock each other - we are able to communicate and that is
nice

Jef. wrote:
> Welcome to the club nobody really wants to join. I know *exactly* what
> you're dealing with-- and I wish I could say that wasn't so, but I'm all too
> familiar with it. It's confusing, daunting and depressing-- but you've got
> to bite the bullet and deal with it.
>
> General advice: Basic, even stupid-sounding... but invaluable, because we
> forget under stress: Eat, drink, sleep, communicate, bathe, exercise and try
> to relax whenever you can. Do all those things that are necessary for simple
> self preservation and physical and emotional nourishment. Your system craves
> them all even more when you're overtaxed and overextended, and you'll
> deplete yourself much faster than normal. Be sure to check your status
> frequently: "Have I had a nap? Do I want a glass of water? Have I talked to
> so-and-so? Would a sandwich be a good idea about now?" Otherwise you wind up
> staring at a wall, crying and grinding your molars, wondering what happened
> to Tuesday and Wednesday, and what you're supposed to be doing next....
>
> Specific advice: Find out about any insurance your mom carries, and begin to
> make funeral preparations now. Is there a will? Is your father alive/on the
> scene/involved or concerned? Does he have any helpful info? I don't know the
> ins and outs of your immediate family situation, but shoot for all the help
> you can get.
>
> Are you a co-signatory on any savings or checking accounts w/ Mom? Do you
> have the ability to pay her bills or handle her finances? Is there a family
> lawyer that can advise you? You'll need to know what to do, and what funds
> are available to you, and you'll have to make decisions about the
> disposition of... so many things. Does that sound harsh or scary? Yeah; I
> know...
>
> When my father went off to live in Bangkok, Saigon, Paris and elsewhere, I
> was always afraid that he might die overseas and I'd have no idea what the
> hell to do in that situation. I asked him, specifically, what he wanted me
> to do if that happened. He gave me the details of his GI and civilian
> insurance policies, made me a co-signatory on his bank accounts, and gave me
> a copy of his will. He also spelled out in detail his wishes after death:
> Cremation, and interment in Arlington National Cemetery. As a vet he was
> entitled to that, and the Military folks were extremely helpful with all the
> details of that stuff.
>
> Trouble was, by the time I realized he had Alzheimer's, it was maybe 15
> years since those instructions were written and I had no idea if some of
> them were still valid. I tried asking Pop about them, but he wasn't ablke to
> be of any real help, and I basically had to start from scratch. His lawyer
> had retired, his insurance situation had changed, and his will hadn't been
> updated.
>
> I was able to communicate to him, in his more lucid momewnts, what I was
> trying to do, and was able to get him to sign a durable power of attorney
> document-- and had it notarized by a very kind and sympathetic woman at his
> bank (they liked him a lot, there...) who understood that I was trying to
> sort things out. It was very, very helpful.
>
> Slowly but surely, I was able to sift through things and make some headway,
> but it took a long time and I was functioning blind for a while.
>
> I'm rambling... It was a hellish time for me, and I thought I'd never be
> able to draw a complete breath again without shuddering or sobbing. Some of
> this might apply in your case; I don't know. I'm guessing you have more
> immediate relationship w/ your mother than I did w/ my father. We were out
> of touch for years at a time, which made it hard for me. I discovered that I
> could (and did) handle the things that were necessary, by being stubborn and
> determined and not being afraid to ask for help whenever I needed it.
>
> You've got guts and spirit aplenty, and you'll surprise yourself at what you
> can accomplish. I wish you the very best during what I know will be some of
> the hardest moments of your life.
>
>

--



When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF

On Fri, 03 Jul 2009 22:54:44 -0400, BSDGAL <bsdgal@bsdgal.com> wrote:

>My bro is her DPOA but I am assisting in every way that is humanly
>possible right now. Her sister handled most of her financials over time
>since mom used to winter in Florida with her. All I know is that overall
>it is difficult on the entire family and I can't imagine what my mom is
>going through lying there so helpless right now. She also contracted
>aspiration pneumonia, which further complicates things. It is a
>terrible way to go.
>
>I don't know how you did it, how Leslie did it, how Lynn did it, or how
>Mark is still able to maintain. It takes a lot out of a person.
>
>I have been making notes of what to do to at minimum to stay healthy. I
>bring my laptop with me to the hospital and some books. I think if she
>just hears a calm voice reading to her that this may comfort her. I
>don't really know. This is all brand new territory.

When I was sitting with Bob one of the nurses suggested that I read to
him. I don't know that he even knew I was there, but I did it anyway.
I finally figured that maybe she suggested it to help *me* so that I
would feel that I was contributing. It worked.
Big hugs
Sue


>
>Take care Jef - I am glad that your life is calmer now
>Oh and we must shock each other - we are able to communicate and that is
>nice
>
>Jef. wrote:
>> Welcome to the club nobody really wants to join. I know *exactly* what
>> you're dealing with-- and I wish I could say that wasn't so, but I'm all too
>> familiar with it. It's confusing, daunting and depressing-- but you've got
>> to bite the bullet and deal with it.
>>
>> General advice: Basic, even stupid-sounding... but invaluable, because we
>> forget under stress: Eat, drink, sleep, communicate, bathe, exercise and try
>> to relax whenever you can. Do all those things that are necessary for simple
>> self preservation and physical and emotional nourishment. Your system craves
>> them all even more when you're overtaxed and overextended, and you'll
>> deplete yourself much faster than normal. Be sure to check your status
>> frequently: "Have I had a nap? Do I want a glass of water? Have I talked to
>> so-and-so? Would a sandwich be a good idea about now?" Otherwise you wind up
>> staring at a wall, crying and grinding your molars, wondering what happened
>> to Tuesday and Wednesday, and what you're supposed to be doing next....
>>
>> Specific advice: Find out about any insurance your mom carries, and begin to
>> make funeral preparations now. Is there a will? Is your father alive/on the
>> scene/involved or concerned? Does he have any helpful info? I don't know the
>> ins and outs of your immediate family situation, but shoot for all the help
>> you can get.
>>
>> Are you a co-signatory on any savings or checking accounts w/ Mom? Do you
>> have the ability to pay her bills or handle her finances? Is there a family
>> lawyer that can advise you? You'll need to know what to do, and what funds
>> are available to you, and you'll have to make decisions about the
>> disposition of... so many things. Does that sound harsh or scary? Yeah; I
>> know...
>>
>> When my father went off to live in Bangkok, Saigon, Paris and elsewhere, I
>> was always afraid that he might die overseas and I'd have no idea what the
>> hell to do in that situation. I asked him, specifically, what he wanted me
>> to do if that happened. He gave me the details of his GI and civilian
>> insurance policies, made me a co-signatory on his bank accounts, and gave me
>> a copy of his will. He also spelled out in detail his wishes after death:
>> Cremation, and interment in Arlington National Cemetery. As a vet he was
>> entitled to that, and the Military folks were extremely helpful with all the
>> details of that stuff.
>>
>> Trouble was, by the time I realized he had Alzheimer's, it was maybe 15
>> years since those instructions were written and I had no idea if some of
>> them were still valid. I tried asking Pop about them, but he wasn't ablke to
>> be of any real help, and I basically had to start from scratch. His lawyer
>> had retired, his insurance situation had changed, and his will hadn't been
>> updated.
>>
>> I was able to communicate to him, in his more lucid momewnts, what I was
>> trying to do, and was able to get him to sign a durable power of attorney
>> document-- and had it notarized by a very kind and sympathetic woman at his
>> bank (they liked him a lot, there...) who understood that I was trying to
>> sort things out. It was very, very helpful.
>>
>> Slowly but surely, I was able to sift through things and make some headway,
>> but it took a long time and I was functioning blind for a while.
>>
>> I'm rambling... It was a hellish time for me, and I thought I'd never be
>> able to draw a complete breath again without shuddering or sobbing. Some of
>> this might apply in your case; I don't know. I'm guessing you have more
>> immediate relationship w/ your mother than I did w/ my father. We were out
>> of touch for years at a time, which made it hard for me. I discovered that I
>> could (and did) handle the things that were necessary, by being stubborn and
>> determined and not being afraid to ask for help whenever I needed it.
>>
>> You've got guts and spirit aplenty, and you'll surprise yourself at what you
>> can accomplish. I wish you the very best during what I know will be some of
>> the hardest moments of your life.
>>
>>