Ok - Runnin' Weary - Tired - Gotta Vent

Ive been 10 months quit.
Close to a year.
Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
better.......
But has it gotten me a better job? NO
Has it improved my love life ? NO
Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)

ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.

I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
make me feel better...
THATS A FCKING LIE !!!

Im fcking tired.

I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.

Peace to every one.
Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
Thanks for letting me ramble.

Steve - SilentNight
Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
hours, 55 minutes.

I've gotta get to work so don't have time to read all of this or
respond property, but please hand in there. You are a terrific
person.
Hugs.
Sue

On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
<M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote:

>Ive been 10 months quit.
>Close to a year.
>Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
>(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
>better.......
>But has it gotten me a better job? NO
>Has it improved my love life ? NO
>Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
>ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
>fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
>Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
>wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
>had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
>on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
>miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
>Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
>that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
>Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
>I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
>this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
>smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
>make me feel better...
>THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
>Im fcking tired.
>
>I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
>love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
>Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
>Peace to every one.
>Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
>Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
>Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
>Steve - SilentNight
>Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
>8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
>hours, 55 minutes.

On May 9, 10:53*am, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
> I've gotta get to work so don't have time to read all of this or
> respond property, but please hand in there. *You are a terrific
> person.
> Hugs.
> Sue
>
> On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
>
>
>
> <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >Ive been 10 months quit.
> >Close to a year.
> >Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> >(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> >better.......
> >But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> >Has it improved my love life ? NO
> >Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> >ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> >fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> >Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> >wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
> >had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
> >on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
> >miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
> >Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
> >that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
> >Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
> >I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
> >this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
> >smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
> >make me feel better...
> >THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
> >Im fcking tired.
>
> >I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
> >love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
> >Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
> >Peace to every one.
> >Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
> >Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
> >Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
> >Steve - SilentNight
> >Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
> >8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
> >hours, 55 minutes.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

(((((((((((((( Sue ))))))))))))))))
Just those few words Sue Help !
Hope you have a good day at work sweety.

These past 2 weeks I have been getting CRAVES and thinking about
smoking LIKE I WAS ONLY QUIT FOR A MONTH OR SO.
This morning was the worse. I almost entertain the thought of buying a
pack! WTF ???
I am trying to stay on top of these emotions...as one would Sit on a
Suit Case that is EXPLODING with clothes that dont fit in the bag.
Steve

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.

I've been going through a rough time myself in the past few days and
have been throwing myself a little pity party too. I said many of the
same things to myself yesterday that you are saying here.

But you're right: Whether or not you were smoking has nothing to do
with your current situation. Don't link smoking to having a place to
live, etc. It seems to me that if you WERE still smoking, you'd have
even LESS money than you do now!

I hate my fucking life too. I really do. Maybe I'll post my pity-party
rant later for everyone, but I can't do it right now.

Still, I'm not smoking. And you can't either.

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to find a place to live.
I thought you had a job? How is that going? I was hoping you'd have
enough stored up soon to find a place?

You're right. Smoking is not going to change your circumstances.
Concentrate on finding a place to live right now and the rest will
fall into place.

I'm here for you, QB.

Love,
Ashley

On May 9, 10:59*am, SilentNight <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On May 9, 10:53*am, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > I've gotta get to work so don't have time to read all of this or
> > respond property, but please hand in there. *You are a terrific
> > person.
> > Hugs.
> > Sue
>
> > On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
>
> > <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > >Ive been 10 months quit.
> > >Close to a year.
> > >Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> > >(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> > >better.......
> > >But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> > >Has it improved my love life ? NO
> > >Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> > >ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> > >fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> > >Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> > >wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
> > >had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
> > >on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
> > >miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
> > >Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
> > >that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
> > >Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
> > >I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
> > >this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
> > >smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
> > >make me feel better...
> > >THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
> > >Im fcking tired.
>
> > >I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
> > >love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
> > >Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
> > >Peace to every one.
> > >Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
> > >Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
> > >Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
> > >Steve - SilentNight
> > >Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
> > >8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
> > >hours, 55 minutes.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> (((((((((((((( Sue ))))))))))))))))
> Just those few words Sue Help !
> Hope you have a good day at work sweety.
>
> These past 2 weeks I have been getting CRAVES and thinking about
> smoking LIKE I WAS ONLY QUIT FOR A MONTH OR SO.
> This morning was the worse. I almost entertain the thought of buying a
> pack! *WTF ???
> I am trying to stay on top of these emotions...as one would Sit on a
> Suit Case that is EXPLODING with clothes that dont fit in the bag.
> Steve- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Hey Steve, nice to see you are still hanging in there, albeit with
problems, but they will go away soon. Just be positive, think good
thoughts, dream of what you would like to happen today, tomorrow and
they will come ture.
Also just look of the money you saved :-) that buy's a lot of
Milkbones!

Just keep hanging around here and vent, when you need to.

Wish I could pipe you some cold air, but I'm just as hot as you are.

Love Lizzy
"You can do it - we can help"

On May 9, 11:04*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.
>
> I've been going through a rough time myself in the past few days and
> have been throwing myself a little pity party too. I said many of the
> same things to myself yesterday that you are saying here.
>
> But you're right: Whether or not you were smoking has nothing to do
> with your current situation. Don't link smoking to having a place to
> live, etc. It seems to me that if you WERE still smoking, you'd have
> even LESS money than you do now!
>
> I hate my fucking life too. I really do. Maybe I'll post my pity-party
> rant later for everyone, but I can't do it right now.
>
> Still, I'm not smoking. And you can't either.
>
> I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to find a place to live.
> I thought you had a job? How is that going? I was hoping you'd have
> enough stored up soon to find a place?
>
> You're right. Smoking is not going to change your circumstances.
> Concentrate on finding a place to live right now and the rest will
> fall into place.
>
> I'm here for you, QB.
>
> Love,
> Ashley

Ashley - (((((((((((((((((((( Ashley ))))))))))))))))))
Thanks Buddy...
with tears wellin up in my eyes. thanks sweety.
Sorry you're going through tuff times......
I'm with you too !
No Smoking. It woldnt help.
I AM working....
its the only positive I still have...(next to my dog and singing on
friday nights)

On May 9, 11:08*am, Lizzy <dizcov...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> On May 9, 10:59*am, SilentNight <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On May 9, 10:53*am, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
>
> > > I've gotta get to work so don't have time to read all of this or
> > > respond property, but please hand in there. *You are a terrific
> > > person.
> > > Hugs.
> > > Sue
>
> > > On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
>
> > > <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > >Ive been 10 months quit.
> > > >Close to a year.
> > > >Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> > > >(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> > > >better.......
> > > >But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> > > >Has it improved my love life ? NO
> > > >Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> > > >ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> > > >fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> > > >Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> > > >wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
> > > >had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
> > > >on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
> > > >miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
> > > >Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
> > > >that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
> > > >Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
> > > >I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
> > > >this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
> > > >smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
> > > >make me feel better...
> > > >THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
> > > >Im fcking tired.
>
> > > >I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
> > > >love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
> > > >Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
> > > >Peace to every one.
> > > >Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
> > > >Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
> > > >Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
> > > >Steve - SilentNight
> > > >Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds..
> > > >8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
> > > >hours, 55 minutes.- Hide quoted text -
>
> > > - Show quoted text -
>
> > (((((((((((((( Sue ))))))))))))))))
> > Just those few words Sue Help !
> > Hope you have a good day at work sweety.
>
> > These past 2 weeks I have been getting CRAVES and thinking about
> > smoking LIKE I WAS ONLY QUIT FOR A MONTH OR SO.
> > This morning was the worse. I almost entertain the thought of buying a
> > pack! *WTF ???
> > I am trying to stay on top of these emotions...as one would Sit on a
> > Suit Case that is EXPLODING with clothes that dont fit in the bag.
> > Steve- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Hey Steve, nice to see you are still hanging in there, albeit with
> problems, but they will go away soon. *Just be positive, think good
> thoughts, dream of what you would like to happen today, tomorrow and
> they will come ture.
> Also just look of the money you saved :-) that buy's a lot of
> Milkbones!
>
> Just keep hanging around here and vent, when you need to.
>
> Wish I could pipe you some cold air, but I'm just as hot as you are.
>
> Love Lizzy
> "You can do it - we can help"- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Thanks Lizzy - All of you GIVE ME STRENGTH to go forward !'
Thank you sweety.
That cold air you piped soothes my soul.
thank you
Steve

On May 9, 9:43*am, SilentNight <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Ive been 10 months quit.
> Close to a year.
> Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> (How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> better.......
> But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> Has it improved my love life ? NO
> Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
> had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
> on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
> miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
> Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
> that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
> Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
> I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
> this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
> smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
> make me feel better...
> THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
> Im fcking tired.
>
> I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
> love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
> Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
> Peace to every one.
> Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
> Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
> Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
> Steve - SilentNight
> Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
> 8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
> hours, 55 minutes.

Someone just said this morning "> Quitting won't cure all your
problems, but it will dramatically lighten your load. ".
Where would you be if you were still smoking?
Jobless and dogless?
It like you said "Keep Going On, Keep Going On.".
I'm gonna keep going on with you!

Steve,

Congrats on the 10+ months quit! I'm already thinking of
a special place where we can put you in the tubs.

Man oh Man, you must have one of the strongest quits ever.
Thanks, and you are an inspiration. Especially to a VOF
like me.

Hugs to you, and pats to the dog with licks back.

jacks, VOF
Let the healing continue

Hello Steve

I really do wish I had clever words or something awe inspiring to quote that
would make life better for you or that I could do something to genuinely
help you.

I don't really know you nor your circumstances but I gather reading between
the lines that you don't have a decent place to stay for you and your lovely
dog. The only thing I can say to you is that if you don't look after your
body then you really will have nowhere to 'live' and no matter what smoking
will not change a thing, Life sure as hell wasn't better because of
smoking - I've learned that the hard way too many times. We all have a story
to tell and some awful things happen to many who so don't deserve.

I can see from what you have said that you have an amazing amount of courage
and strength and I am in absolute awe of your meter - please stay strong - I
am sending you my positive thoughts and vibes and praying life soon gets
better for you.

Karen x

One month, one week, one day, 18 hours, 20 minutes and 37 seconds. 795
cigarettes not smoked, saving $318.11. Life saved: 2 days, 18 hours, 15
minutes.





"SilentNight" <M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:9d73f3b7-d557-4eb6-82ba-bedfcb012fe6@j33g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
> Ive been 10 months quit.
> Close to a year.
> Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> (How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> better.......
> But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> Has it improved my love life ? NO
> Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
> had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
> on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
> miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
> Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
> that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
> Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
> I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
> this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
> smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
> make me feel better...
> THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
> Im fcking tired.
>
> I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
> love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
> Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
> Peace to every one.
> Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
> Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
> Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
> Steve - SilentNight
> Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
> 8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
> hours, 55 minutes.

Hi Steve. Not knowing your circumstances, I can't say for certain
that your life was not better when you were smoking. What I can say
with certainty is that your life was not better *because* you were
smoking.

Peace,
Rob

Ashley sed:

> I hate my fucking life too. I really do. Maybe I'll post my pity-party
> rant later for everyone, but I can't do it right now.

Sorry for going OT here, but I thought you just took up cohabitation
with BF and life was grand. Work going bad?

Just concerned,
Rob

Praying for you Steve. I don't quite understand how this all came into
place for you. I feel bad reading this and wish I could just give you
a big hug and tell you this will all pass. My best to you friend. You
have my positive thoughts and wishes as always. To you and doggie.
Sometimes my life sucks too but at least I have a roof over my head.

Suzie

You're kind, Rob. I'll start a new post with MY pity party since I
don't want to hijack Steve's.

I wrote:
> Sorry for going OT here, but I thought you just took up cohabitation
> with BF and life was grand. *Work going bad?

Sorry. I meant "badly".

Rob
-Never throw bad grammar at someone who writes for a living :-)

"Billy Bob F." wrote
> I wrote:
> Sorry for going OT here, but I thought you just took up cohabitation
> with BF and life was grand. Work going bad?

Sorry. I meant "badly".

Rob
-Never throw bad grammar at someone who writes for a living :-)

Here, here! Your right. Definately include spelling and "punctuation" to!
(Sorry... Couldn't help myself.)

> -Never throw bad grammar at someone who writes for a living :-)

Oh, don't worry. I don't edit you guys, as long as you aren't editing
me either.

M.BetterOff@gmail.com wrote:

> I've been 10 months quit.
> Close to a year.
> Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???

Oddly enough, I found myself thinking on these lines the other day.
Yes, to be honest, I did feel much happier when I was breathing in
poisonous smoke forty times a day. And until last November when
bronchitis hit me, I felt pretty good too.
But then I thought, yes, and you felt even better when you were 23.
Going back to smoking again simply isn't going to get you feeling that
way again: only a Time Machine could do that! Sad fact is, Ian old
boy, you're just plain getting old and a bit out of condition.
Cigarettes aren't going to change that, all they will do is bring your
chronic coughing back and before long you'll be on oxygen 24 hours a
day. You want that?
Maybe a little dialogue with yourself like mine would help you get
through this low period.
I know how it is to be looking for somewhere to live: been through that
kind of thing myself more than once in the past and it's no fun. But
you might like to borrow my life motto: Nothing Lasts Forever. It
helped me in some difficult times.
You've done very well - going without the nicotine drug for over ten
months seems remarkable to me. And as always when I see others'
proud records of months and even years, I mutter to myself, Well if they can
do it, then so can I!
I find I can't offer any Churchillian phrases to get you along your (for
now) rough patch but I hope things begin to improve before long. They
do, you know - I can point to several bits in my past when things were
really disastrous and nothing worked out, and then, not too long after,
I was on top of the world again and the money was fairly rolling in.
Some of it was Lady Luck stepping in, some because I spotted an
opportunity and grabbed it quick. But it did show me that
Nothing Lasts Forever!
--
Ian
38 days without a smoke! Money not spent: 400 dollars. And no
cough....

Well, Steve, I certainly can see why you are feeling tested at this
point in your situation. I was out of doors for 51 weeks back in
01-02 and it really sucks. Do your best to stay focused on what you
are working towards and when you do get housing it will be so much
more than just a roof over your head. Be glad though that you are NOT
smoking as those savings can help towards the upfront costs of moving
into a place. And realize if you had NOT stopped smoking, you'd be
smoking through this and not have us to help give you support.

FlatironMike
One year, two months, four weeks, 17 hours, 49 minutes and 57 seconds.
9074 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,722.20. Life saved: 4 weeks, 3
days, 12 hours, 10 minutes.

On May 9, 3:20*pm, FlatIronMike <FlatironMike...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I was out of doors for 51 weeks back in 01-02 and it really sucks. *

Homeless to Quitlist Moderator!!!!!!
Now there is a story I wanna hear.
And add that to your meter sometimes!!
Where was Sam during that time?

On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
<M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote:

>Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
>(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
>better.......
>But has it gotten me a better job? NO
>Has it improved my love life ? NO
>Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
>ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
>fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
>Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
>wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I

Just a few Tough Love guesses:

You think it was better because your long-standing self-hatred was
addressed by the ritual of symbolically killing yourself by smoking.

Now you do not have that outlet, so you have to face that it was
certain aspects of YOU that kept you from getting a good job, getting
laid, and getting popular. You had the peer group of risk-takers when
you smoked. Risk takers are fun people because they refuse to think
about the future. Here you are, with no armor left. It's a brutal
discovery.

The only reason for writing in such a brutal manner is that I had a
similar revelation this year. Basically, I reviewed my life, and
discovered my darkest secret.

Here it is for the Entire World:
_______________________________________________
=============I'm a fucking asshole.=================
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now. What do we do with that?

I wish I had an answer for you Steve.
I guess you just gotta keep on keeping on, and maybe one day all this will
make sense.
With hope and heart,
Kathleen

"SilentNight" <M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:9d73f3b7-d557-4eb6-82ba-bedfcb012fe6@j33g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
> Ive been 10 months quit.
> Close to a year.
> Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> (How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> better.......
> But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> Has it improved my love life ? NO
> Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
> had a place to live...to shower...air conditioned rooms...I could flop
> on the couch and read..or watch TV...or better yet COOK !!! (Man I
> miss cooking ....but not as much as I miss showering or BATHING !!!
> Just for the PLEASURE Of it..........but then........if I believe
> that........that would mean that my life is the way it is NOW because
> Ive stopped smoking !!...and THAT is pure BULLSHIT.
>
> I dont know why I'm going through this..or HAVE to go through
> this....with a dog no less....but Its NOT because I stopped
> smoking....and SMOKING is NOT going to change my circumstances...or
> make me feel better...
> THATS A FCKING LIE !!!
>
> Im fcking tired.
>
> I cant live like this. Cant live this way much longer. As much as I
> love my dog...and fear I wont be able to keep him.
> Florida is heating up good. Last night and this morning proves it.
>
> Peace to every one.
> Dont smoke - Denial's a Bitch.
> Keep Going On, Keep Going On.
> Thanks for letting me ramble.
>
> Steve - SilentNight
> Ten months, three weeks, one day, 19 hours, 51 minutes and 26 seconds.
> 8195 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,311.31. Life saved: 4 weeks, 10
> hours, 55 minutes.

On Fri, 9 May 2008 11:26:51 -0700 (PDT), writer272002
<writer272002@gmail.com> wrote:

>
>> -Never throw bad grammar at someone who writes for a living :-)
>
>Oh, don't worry. I don't edit you guys, as long as you aren't editing
>me either.

I wouldn't because you write real good.

Nope@notonusenet.him wrote:

> On Fri, 9 May 2008 11:26:51 -0700 (PDT), writer272002
> <writer272002@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >> -Never throw bad grammar at someone who writes for a living :-)
> >
> >Oh, don't worry. I don't edit you guys, as long as you aren't editing
> >me either.

Just being nosy - what kind of writing are you in?
I wrote and sold a number of horror/supernatural stories way back in the
early 80s, which is why I'm interested, see.
--
Ian

On Fri, 09 May 2008 19:20:35 -0400, THISTime <Nope@notonusenet.him>
wrote:

>On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
><M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
>>(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
>>better.......
>>But has it gotten me a better job? NO
>>Has it improved my love life ? NO
>>Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>>
>>ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
>>fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
>>Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
>>wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
>
>Just a few Tough Love guesses:
>
>You think it was better because your long-standing self-hatred was
>addressed by the ritual of symbolically killing yourself by smoking.
>
>Now you do not have that outlet, so you have to face that it was
>certain aspects of YOU that kept you from getting a good job, getting
>laid, and getting popular. You had the peer group of risk-takers when
>you smoked. Risk takers are fun people because they refuse to think
>about the future. Here you are, with no armor left. It's a brutal
>discovery.
>
>The only reason for writing in such a brutal manner is that I had a
>similar revelation this year. Basically, I reviewed my life, and
>discovered my darkest secret.
>
>Here it is for the Entire World:
>_______________________________________________
>=============I'm a fucking asshole.=================

Good for you!!!!

>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Now. What do we do with that?

Have a party?
Sue

On May 9, 7:20*pm, THISTime <N...@notonusenet.him> wrote:
> On Fri, 9 May 2008 07:43:04 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
>
> <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >Is life better for me NOW THAT I QUIT SMOKING ???
> >(How do I answer that?........uh....yeah..I guess I breathe
> >better.......
> >But has it gotten me a better job? NO
> >Has it improved my love life ? NO
> >Has it gotten me more friends (Excluding this group of course)
>
> >ok ok...I see what Im doing..Im feeling sorry for myself...I'm in the
> >fcking dumps of despair and pitying myself.
> >Truth is..I hate my fcking life..and I hate to say this....(I hope Im
> >wrong about this) but my life was Better when I was smoking.........I
>
> Just a few Tough Love guesses:
>
> You think it was better because your long-standing self-hatred was
> addressed by the ritual of symbolically killing yourself by smoking.
>
> Now you do not have that outlet, so you have to face that it was
> certain aspects of YOU that kept you from getting a good job, getting
> laid, and getting popular. *You had the peer group of risk-takers when
> you smoked. Risk takers are fun people because they refuse to think
> about the future. *Here you are, with no armor left. It's a brutal
> discovery.
>
> The only reason for writing in such a brutal manner is that I had a
> similar revelation this year. *Basically, I reviewed my life, and
> discovered my darkest secret.
>
> Here it is for the Entire World:
> _______________________________________________
> =============I'm a fucking asshole.=================
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------*---------
>
> Now. *What do we do with that?

We then stop being an asshole ...and begin to love ourselves, accept
our selves and accept and love others as well?
I sure dont believe, with a revelation like that....that we should
remain in that condition............then that revelation was worthless
and wasted.
Just some FFT
steve

On Fri, 9 May 2008 21:32:54 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
<M.BetterOff@gmail.com> wrote:

>> Now. *What do we do with that?
>
>We then stop being an asshole ...and begin to love ourselves, accept
>our selves and accept and love others as well?
>I sure dont believe, with a revelation like that....that we should
>remain in that condition............then that revelation was worthless
>and wasted.

The big trap here is the "If Only" spiral! If there were such a thing
as a Time Machine, it would be easy to fix, huh?

That's what I meant with "Now. *What do we do with that?".
If one is able to make the Big Discovery when they are twenty, much
damage could have been avoided. Making it forty years later..Well.
One could say, "OK, I am not an asshole any more...But there is the
little matter of forty years thrown away that could have been better
spent".

On May 10, 8:54*am, THISTime <N...@notonusenet.him> wrote:
> On Fri, 9 May 2008 21:32:54 -0700 (PDT), SilentNight
>
> <M.Better...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >> Now. *What do we do with that?
>
> >We then stop being an asshole ...and begin to love ourselves, accept
> >our selves and accept and love others as well?
> >I sure dont believe, with a revelation like that....that we should
> >remain in that condition............then that revelation was worthless
> >and wasted.
>
> The big trap here is the "If Only" spiral! *If there were such a thing
> as a Time Machine, it would be easy to fix, huh?
>
> That's what I meant with "Now. *What do we do with that?".
> If one is able to make the Big Discovery when they are twenty, much
> damage could have been avoided. *Making it forty years later..Well.
> One could say, "OK, I am not an asshole any more...But there is the
> little matter of forty years thrown away that could have been better
> spent".

ok - i havent a clue as to what or whom you're talking about - but
thats ok too.
thanks everyone for your help.
peace.
steve