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PING Sue
  1. #1
    writer272002 Guest

    Default PING Sue

    Hi Sue,

    Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.

    Ashley

  2. #2
    Stephanie Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > Hi Sue,
    >
    > Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    > are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    > but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    > for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.
    >
    > Ashley


    This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    in touch with this group via Google: Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    I didn't respond. I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    sensed wisdom into difficult situations. I too will keep your family
    in my thoughts and prayers. love Stephanie

  3. #3
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:14:11 -0700 (PDT), writer272002
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >Hi Sue,
    >
    >Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    >are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    >but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    >for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.
    >
    >Ashley


    Nothing. ( I was at a restaurant yesterday and the lady at the
    next table had an infant with her. The waitress asked how old the
    baby is and was told that he was born on 2/24. That's 4 days before
    my great-granddaughter. I couldn't take my eyes off of her little
    boy.
    When I talk to my daughter I don't even mention it. If there's
    something to say, I'm sure she'll say it.
    Thanks for asking, Ashley.
    Sue

  4. #4
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    >> Hi Sue,
    >>
    >> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    >> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    >> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    >> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.
    >>
    >> Ashley

    >
    >This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    >in touch with this group via Google: Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    >is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    >I didn't respond. I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    >to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    >sensed wisdom into difficult situations. I too will keep your family
    >in my thoughts and prayers. love Stephanie


    My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    without similarity.
    My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). She took
    her baby with her. This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    attempt at slashing her wrists). He spend a couple of months in jail
    because of violating the order. It was then that she got pregnant and
    he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    to inform him of this fact. He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. The last time my
    daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. She claimed it was
    some other girl. This is a whole great big mess. They are living
    with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    get out of prison). The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    home. This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. Needless to
    say he doesn't work. This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    which time Jerry just might figure things out. Also, he might start
    wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. As I said
    in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. I understand that
    self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. My granddaughter has
    a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    daughter into the mess. I will say that as long as she was with her
    mother she was a good mom. She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    Sorry, way too long.
    Thanks so much for your thoughts. You are so sweet.
    Sue

  5. #5
    Stephanie Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Apr 16, 3:47*pm, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
    > On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > <sajesq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
    > >On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > >> Hi Sue,

    >
    > >> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    > >> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    > >> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    > >> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.

    >
    > >> Ashley

    >
    > >This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    > >in touch with this group via Google: *Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    > >is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    > >I didn't respond. *I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    > >to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    > >sensed wisdom into difficult situations. *I too will keep your family
    > >in my thoughts and prayers. *love Stephanie

    >
    > My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    > without similarity.
    > My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    > said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). *She took
    > her baby with her. *This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    > her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    > posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    > attempt at slashing her wrists). *He spend a couple of months in jail
    > because of violating the order. *It was then that she got pregnant and
    > he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    > to inform him of this fact. *He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    > isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. *The last time my
    > daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    > she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. *She claimed it was
    > some other girl. *This is a whole great big mess. *They are living
    > with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    > get out of prison). *The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    > home. *This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    > other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. *Needless to
    > say he doesn't work. *This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    > get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    > which time Jerry just might figure things out. *Also, he might start
    > wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. *As I said
    > in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    > I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. *I understand that
    > self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. *My granddaughter has
    > a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    > daughter into the mess. *I will say that as long as she was with her
    > mother she was a good mom. *She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    > daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    > told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    > anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    > *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    > Sorry, way too long.
    > Thanks so much for your thoughts. *You are so sweet.
    > Sue- Hide quoted text -
    >
    > - Show quoted text -


    Oh. My. God.

    Sue, that is an absolutely unbelievable story. I literally am
    speechless.

    Do you really think he is that clueless about the paternity? It seems
    impossible to believe he wouldn't be able to either figure it our or
    at least suspect. If she genuinely fears his reaction when this is
    blown apart she could of course get a restraining order, but if she
    wants to be with him that obviously won't work.

    I don't know what makes people stay. I filed for divorce from the
    hospital where I ended up after being badly beaten. I had the locks
    changed and his possessions delivered to his office (he is a
    physician). I wouldn't stay around for more.

    The fact that she is such a good mother essentially and naturally
    bodes well. I hope her survival mechanisms kick in vis a vis her
    child even if not with respect to herself. I know I'll never forget
    seeing the bruises on my son who had tried to intervene to protect me
    (Tommy, age 5). I couldn't have gone back even if I had wanted to.

    I'll be anxious to know what transpires. Please let us know. love
    Stephanie

  6. #6
    DavidL Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Apr 16, 2:47*pm, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
    > On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > <sajesq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
    > >On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > >> Hi Sue,

    >
    > >> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    > >> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    > >> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    > >> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.

    >
    > >> Ashley

    >
    > >This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    > >in touch with this group via Google: *Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    > >is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    > >I didn't respond. *I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    > >to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    > >sensed wisdom into difficult situations. *I too will keep your family
    > >in my thoughts and prayers. *love Stephanie

    >
    > My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    > without similarity.
    > My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    > said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). *She took
    > her baby with her. *This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    > her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    > posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    > attempt at slashing her wrists). *He spend a couple of months in jail
    > because of violating the order. *It was then that she got pregnant and
    > he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    > to inform him of this fact. *He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    > isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. *The last time my
    > daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    > she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. *She claimed it was
    > some other girl. *This is a whole great big mess. *They are living
    > with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    > get out of prison). *The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    > home. *This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    > other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. *Needless to
    > say he doesn't work. *This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    > get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    > which time Jerry just might figure things out. *Also, he might start
    > wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. *As I said
    > in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    > I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. *I understand that
    > self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. *My granddaughter has
    > a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    > daughter into the mess. *I will say that as long as she was with her
    > mother she was a good mom. *She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    > daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    > told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    > anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    > *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    > Sorry, way too long.
    > Thanks so much for your thoughts. *You are so sweet.
    > Sue- Hide quoted text -
    >
    > - Show quoted text -


    That situation and your peace of mind in my prayers.

  7. #7
    msmomo2u Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    My thoughts are with you and your family Sue. I am so sorry you are
    going through this. I cannot imagine.

  8. #8
    writer272002 Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    Stephanie, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My marriage was
    emotionally and psychologically abusive but not physically abusive.
    Any kind of abuse, though, is unacceptable, particularly in your case
    and involving your son.

    You are a good and strong person.

    I know what you mean about Google, too. I happened to come across
    Sue's post while reading another posting.

    Ashley

  9. #9
    writer272002 Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    Sorry. I realize I said that about my marriage up top. Duh. I thought
    I said it in the other posting. Forgive my redundance. The guy was an
    asshole and I'm glad he's gone.

  10. #10
    writer272002 Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    Oh, Sue, I'm so sorry there's no news. Please know I'm thinking of you
    and your family.
    I don't know what makes people stay, either, with physical abuse. But
    I will pray that Liz is able to get to a safe place and take the baby
    with her.

  11. #11
    Stephanie Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Apr 16, 5:59*pm, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > Stephanie, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My marriage was
    > emotionally and psychologically abusive but not physically abusive.
    > Any kind of abuse, though, is unacceptable, particularly in your case
    > and involving your son.
    >
    > You are a good and strong person.
    >
    > I know what you mean about Google, too. I happened to come across
    > Sue's post while reading another posting.
    >
    > Ashley


    Thanks Ashley. I appreciate your kind words. It was 20 years ago
    this summer - which I can't believe - I have to say I haven't been hit
    since.

    Thanks for bringing Sue's difficulty to my attention with your post.
    She's been an unfailing friend and I completely missed her original
    post because I just sort of hit and miss with Google. I know there is
    little help we can offer, except a shoulder, and I certainly want to
    know to offer it.

    Congratulations on your quit. Staying close by here really helps I
    think. Take care honey. Stephanie

  12. #12
    FlatIronMike Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    My heart goes out to you and your family, Sue. Her situation, from
    what you are writing, sounds horrible. I do hope she realizes her
    mistake and gets out safely. He sounds vendictive and I would hate to
    read of yet worse developing.
    ,

    FlatironMike
    One year, two months, five days, 20 hours, 16 minutes and 31 seconds.
    8616 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,584.82. Life saved: 4 weeks, 1
    day, 22 hours, 0 minutes.

  13. #13
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:40:39 -0700 (PDT), DavidL <[email protected]>
    wrote:

    >On Apr 16, 2:47*pm, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
    >> On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> <sajesq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
    >> >On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    >> >> Hi Sue,

    >>
    >> >> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    >> >> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    >> >> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    >> >> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.

    >>
    >> >> Ashley

    >>
    >> >This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    >> >in touch with this group via Google: *Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    >> >is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    >> >I didn't respond. *I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    >> >to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    >> >sensed wisdom into difficult situations. *I too will keep your family
    >> >in my thoughts and prayers. *love Stephanie

    >>
    >> My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    >> without similarity.
    >> My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    >> said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). *She took
    >> her baby with her. *This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    >> her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    >> posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    >> attempt at slashing her wrists). *He spend a couple of months in jail
    >> because of violating the order. *It was then that she got pregnant and
    >> he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    >> to inform him of this fact. *He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    >> isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. *The last time my
    >> daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    >> she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. *She claimed it was
    >> some other girl. *This is a whole great big mess. *They are living
    >> with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    >> get out of prison). *The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    >> home. *This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    >> other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. *Needless to
    >> say he doesn't work. *This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    >> get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    >> which time Jerry just might figure things out. *Also, he might start
    >> wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. *As I said
    >> in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    >> I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. *I understand that
    >> self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. *My granddaughter has
    >> a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    >> daughter into the mess. *I will say that as long as she was with her
    >> mother she was a good mom. *She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    >> daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    >> told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    >> anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    >> *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    >> Sorry, way too long.
    >> Thanks so much for your thoughts. *You are so sweet.
    >> Sue- Hide quoted text -
    >>
    >> - Show quoted text -

    >
    >That situation and your peace of mind in my prayers.


    Thanks, David. I appreciate that.
    Sue

  14. #14
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:01:38 -0700 (PDT), writer272002
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >Sorry. I realize I said that about my marriage up top. Duh. I thought
    >I said it in the other posting. Forgive my redundance. The guy was an
    >asshole and I'm glad he's gone.


    CRS/CRAFT. Ain't it grand? )
    Sue

  15. #15
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:42:02 -0700 (PDT), msmomo2u
    <suzmthompson@comcast.n[email protected]> wrote:

    >My thoughts are with you and your family Sue. I am so sorry you are
    >going through this. I cannot imagine.


    I'm not much of a "baby person" and have no desire to hold babies who
    come into the office, but this baby, well, this baby is ours.
    Sometimes I wake up worrying in the middle of the night.
    Sue

  16. #16
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:47:09 -0700 (PDT), FlatIronMike
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >My heart goes out to you and your family, Sue. Her situation, from
    >what you are writing, sounds horrible. I do hope she realizes her
    >mistake and gets out safely. He sounds vendictive and I would hate to
    >read of yet worse developing.


    It would help if she had any sort of positive relationship with her
    mother but she doesn't. Those two have been at it for years. My
    daughter was never much of a mother (she had Liz when she was 15).
    Thanks, Mikey.
    Sue

    >,
    >
    >FlatironMike
    >One year, two months, five days, 20 hours, 16 minutes and 31 seconds.
    >8616 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,584.82. Life saved: 4 weeks, 1
    >day, 22 hours, 0 minutes.


  17. #17
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:00:17 -0700 (PDT), writer272002
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >Oh, Sue, I'm so sorry there's no news. Please know I'm thinking of you
    >and your family.
    >I don't know what makes people stay, either, with physical abuse. But
    >I will pray that Liz is able to get to a safe place and take the baby
    >with her.


    Thanks, Ashley. I'll let everyone know if I hear anything. Hopefully,
    it will be good news.
    Sue

  18. #18
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:38:20 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >On Apr 16, 3:47*pm, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
    >> On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> <sajesq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
    >> >On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    >> >> Hi Sue,

    >>
    >> >> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    >> >> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    >> >> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    >> >> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.

    >>
    >> >> Ashley

    >>
    >> >This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    >> >in touch with this group via Google: *Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    >> >is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    >> >I didn't respond. *I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    >> >to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    >> >sensed wisdom into difficult situations. *I too will keep your family
    >> >in my thoughts and prayers. *love Stephanie

    >>
    >> My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    >> without similarity.
    >> My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    >> said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). *She took
    >> her baby with her. *This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    >> her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    >> posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    >> attempt at slashing her wrists). *He spend a couple of months in jail
    >> because of violating the order. *It was then that she got pregnant and
    >> he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    >> to inform him of this fact. *He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    >> isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. *The last time my
    >> daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    >> she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. *She claimed it was
    >> some other girl. *This is a whole great big mess. *They are living
    >> with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    >> get out of prison). *The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    >> home. *This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    >> other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. *Needless to
    >> say he doesn't work. *This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    >> get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    >> which time Jerry just might figure things out. *Also, he might start
    >> wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. *As I said
    >> in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    >> I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. *I understand that
    >> self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. *My granddaughter has
    >> a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    >> daughter into the mess. *I will say that as long as she was with her
    >> mother she was a good mom. *She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    >> daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    >> told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    >> anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    >> *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    >> Sorry, way too long.
    >> Thanks so much for your thoughts. *You are so sweet.
    >> Sue- Hide quoted text -
    >>
    >> - Show quoted text -

    >
    >Oh. My. God.
    >
    >Sue, that is an absolutely unbelievable story. I literally am
    >speechless.
    >
    >Do you really think he is that clueless about the paternity? It seems
    >impossible to believe he wouldn't be able to either figure it our or
    >at least suspect. If she genuinely fears his reaction when this is
    >blown apart she could of course get a restraining order, but if she
    >wants to be with him that obviously won't work.


    I don't know the guy, never met him. He's a gang banger wannabe from
    what I understand. I'm guessing he's not very bright. No matter what
    happens she refuses to admit he's done anything or will do anything.

    >
    >I don't know what makes people stay. I filed for divorce from the
    >hospital where I ended up after being badly beaten. I had the locks
    >changed and his possessions delivered to his office (he is a
    >physician). I wouldn't stay around for more.


    Good for you for getting the hell out. Although I was verbally abused
    ("you've go the brains of a ****ing lowland gorilla" for instance) I
    was only hit once and not nearly as hard as he could have done.

    >
    >The fact that she is such a good mother essentially and naturally
    >bodes well. I hope her survival mechanisms kick in vis a vis her
    >child even if not with respect to herself.


    That's what I'm hoping.

    > I know I'll never forget
    >seeing the bruises on my son who had tried to intervene to protect me
    >(Tommy, age 5). I couldn't have gone back even if I had wanted to.


    Oh, wow. That makes me sad to hear even though it was so many years
    ago. No, you couldn't have gone back.

    >
    >I'll be anxious to know what transpires. Please let us know. love
    >Stephanie


    I will.
    Thanks for your continuing support, Stephanie. You are very special
    to me.
    Sue



  19. #19
    Stephanie Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Apr 16, 8:59*pm, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
    > On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:38:20 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > <sajesq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
    > >On Apr 16, 3:47*pm, Sue <sebr...@thegrid.net> wrote:
    > >> On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie

    >
    > >> <sajesq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
    > >> >On Apr 16, 11:14*am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    > >> >> Hi Sue,

    >
    > >> >> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    > >> >> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    > >> >> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    > >> >> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.

    >
    > >> >> Ashley

    >
    > >> >This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    > >> >in touch with this group via Google: *Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    > >> >is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    > >> >I didn't respond. *I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    > >> >to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    > >> >sensed wisdom into difficult situations. *I too will keep your family
    > >> >in my thoughts and prayers. *love Stephanie

    >
    > >> My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    > >> without similarity.
    > >> My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    > >> said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). *She took
    > >> her baby with her. *This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    > >> her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    > >> posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    > >> attempt at slashing her wrists). *He spend a couple of months in jail
    > >> because of violating the order. *It was then that she got pregnant and
    > >> he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    > >> to inform him of this fact. *He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    > >> isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. *The last time my
    > >> daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    > >> she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. *She claimed it was
    > >> some other girl. *This is a whole great big mess. *They are living
    > >> with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    > >> get out of prison). *The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    > >> home. *This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    > >> other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. *Needless to
    > >> say he doesn't work. *This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    > >> get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    > >> which time Jerry just might figure things out. *Also, he might start
    > >> wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. *As I said
    > >> in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    > >> I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. *I understand that
    > >> self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. *My granddaughter has
    > >> a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    > >> daughter into the mess. *I will say that as long as she was with her
    > >> mother she was a good mom. *She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    > >> daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    > >> told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    > >> anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    > >> *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    > >> Sorry, way too long.
    > >> Thanks so much for your thoughts. *You are so sweet.
    > >> Sue- Hide quoted text -

    >
    > >> - Show quoted text -

    >
    > >Oh. My. God.

    >
    > >Sue, that is an absolutely unbelievable story. *I literally am
    > >speechless.

    >
    > >Do you really think he is that clueless about the paternity? *It seems
    > >impossible to believe he wouldn't be able to either figure it our or
    > >at least suspect. *If she genuinely fears his reaction when this is
    > >blown apart she could of course get a restraining order, but if she
    > >wants to be with him that obviously won't work.

    >
    > I don't know the guy, never met him. *He's a gang banger wannabe from
    > what I understand. *I'm guessing he's not very bright. *No matter what
    > happens she refuses to admit he's done anything or will do anything.
    >
    >
    >
    > >I don't know what makes people stay. *I filed for divorce from the
    > >hospital where I ended up after being badly beaten. *I had the locks
    > >changed and his possessions delivered to his office (he is a
    > >physician). *I wouldn't stay around for more.

    >
    > Good for you for getting the hell out. *Although I was verbally abused
    > ("you've go the brains of a ****ing lowland gorilla" for instance) I
    > was only hit once and not nearly as hard as he could have done.
    >
    >
    >
    > >The fact that she is such a good mother essentially and naturally
    > >bodes well. *I hope her survival mechanisms kick in vis a vis her
    > >child even if not with respect to herself.

    >
    > That's what I'm hoping.
    >
    > > *I know I'll never forget
    > >seeing the bruises on my son who had tried to intervene to protect me
    > >(Tommy, age 5). *I couldn't have gone back even if I had wanted to.

    >
    > Oh, wow. *That makes me sad to hear even though it was so many years
    > ago. *No, you couldn't have gone back. *
    >
    >
    >
    > >I'll be anxious to know what transpires. *Please let us know. *love
    > >Stephanie

    >
    > I will.
    > Thanks for your continuing support, Stephanie. *You are very special
    > to me.
    > Sue- Hide quoted text -
    >
    > - Show quoted text -


    Talk about a ridiculous and ungrounded accusation! Of all the
    qualities of yours to attack the most riduclous would be to attack
    your intellect! I'll hazard a guess that he was very intimidated by
    how quick your mind is and had to try to demean you to even the
    playing field. Unsuccessful effort on his part.

    I didn't realize your daughter had had Liz at 15. That in and of
    itself must have been a huge family challenge. I didn't realize how
    much you had been through, and I know I only know the tip of the
    iceberg. Amazing the stories people have in real life. Bears out the
    adage that truth is stranger than fiction.

    I'll be holding good thoughts and keep the family in my prayers.

    Thank you for your friendship. It means a lot to me. love Stephanie

  20. #20
    writer272002 Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    YOU are very special to me, too, Sue. After all, we're Oak Leaf
    Cluster sisters.
    So I'm sending big hugs and lots of love your way ... even more so
    than usual.



  21. #21
    writer272002 Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    I'm pretty hit and miss with Google myself. While it's gut-wrenching
    that Sue is going through this, it's good that my ping brought it to
    your attention so you can offer your support as a wonderful friend.




  22. #22
    Jsteam Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue


    Well sue I have been out of town and was about to mark all read when this post came to
    my attention. I don't know how you can manaage to keep your wits about you with this
    lastest tragedy. All I can say is that God cares about that little baby and is going
    to help in miraculous ways. I wish there were something I could do or say to help,
    except that if you need anything you know how to gett ahold of me.

    -jad


  23. #23
    Sue Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    On Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:44:18 +0000 (UTC), Jsteam <[email protected]>
    wrote:

    >
    >Well sue I have been out of town and was about to mark all read when this post came to
    >my attention. I don't know how you can manaage to keep your wits about you with this
    >lastest tragedy. All I can say is that God cares about that little baby and is going
    >to help in miraculous ways. I wish there were something I could do or say to help,
    >except that if you need anything you know how to gett ahold of me.


    Thanks. That means a lot to me.
    Sue

    >
    >-jad


  24. #24
    Barbara-eve done it @ last Guest

    Default Re: PING Sue

    (((((Sue)))))
    I'm sure if your granddaughter has inherited only a little of your
    stubbornness
    she will show when she has time to think things through.
    I sometimes think if you try to help 'teenagers' they dig in their heels
    without
    thinking, and when you posted about her before I got the impression she has
    a
    great 'rapport' with you.
    I guess with having such a young baby she is under a lot of emotional strain
    Sometimes people in abusive relationships find it hard to admit as they feel
    it's
    their fault?
    I hope Liz soon realizes that Monster is not her problem but his.
    My thoughts and feelings are with you

    Hugs

    (¯`.¸ˇ´¯) Barbara (¯`ˇ¸.´¯)
    SFB2erŽ
    ~DOF~
    Live every day with enjoyment -
    we don't know what tomorrow will give us.

    "Sue" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]..
    > On Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:32:21 -0700 (PDT), Stephanie
    > <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >>On Apr 16, 11:14 am, writer272002 <writer272...@gmail.com> wrote:
    >>> Hi Sue,
    >>>
    >>> Just wondering about your granddaughter and her baby. Any news? They
    >>> are in my thoughts and prayers. My marriage wasn't physically abusive
    >>> but it certainly was abusive emotionally and psychologically. I feel
    >>> for your granddaughter. It's a tough situation.
    >>>
    >>> Ashley

    >>
    >>This is why (well, one 'why' in a sea of 'whys') I hate trying to stay
    >>in touch with this group via Google: Sue I have no idea what Ashley
    >>is speaking about, and I feel terrible that you posted about this and
    >>I didn't respond. I can only say that your granddaughter is fortunate
    >>to have you, as you consistently have a rational, insightful, keenly
    >>sensed wisdom into difficult situations. I too will keep your family
    >>in my thoughts and prayers. love Stephanie

    >
    > My original post about this was tacked on to something else totally
    > without similarity.
    > My granddaughter ran off to be with her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (I
    > said in the post that it's been 2 weeks but I was wrong). She took
    > her baby with her. This guy is abusive, when Elizabeth was under 18
    > her mother (my daughter) got a restraining order against him (I'd
    > posted something about this several months ago when she made a vague
    > attempt at slashing her wrists). He spend a couple of months in jail
    > because of violating the order. It was then that she got pregnant and
    > he's too dumb to figure out the baby isn't his and she hasn't bothered
    > to inform him of this fact. He has said that if he finds out Julianna
    > isn't his that he will kill Elizabeth and the baby. The last time my
    > daughter saw Liz she (Liz) was sporting staples in her scalp because
    > she'd been hit over the head with a beer bottle. She claimed it was
    > some other girl. This is a whole great big mess. They are living
    > with the guy's mother and sister (and soon his brother who is about to
    > get out of prison). The mom works over in San Jose so is hardly ever
    > home. This boyfriend (Jerry or, his gang name, Monster) spent some
    > other time in jail for being abusive to his adult sister. Needless to
    > say he doesn't work. This thing is that eventually Liz is going to
    > get the absent parent paperwork from the family support office at
    > which time Jerry just might figure things out. Also, he might start
    > wondering why *he* hasn't been added to the cash aid case. As I said
    > in my original post, I don't know why women/girls go back to abusers.
    > I know there's a plethora of work on this subject. I understand that
    > self-esteem (or lack thereof) is a major factor. My granddaughter has
    > a whole slew of mental and emotional issues and she's dragging her
    > daughter into the mess. I will say that as long as she was with her
    > mother she was a good mom. She never tried to pass the "job" to my
    > daughter - got up at night for the feeding, bathed, changed diapers. I
    > told her flat out the last time I saw her (on the 2nd) that, if
    > anything happens to that baby it will be on her shoulders (probably
    > *not* rational, insightful or wise).
    > Sorry, way too long.
    > Thanks so much for your thoughts. You are so sweet.
    > Sue




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