S.O.S.Part II

Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry at
God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and cried
and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same thing.
Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good Catholic, but I
am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more than once a week.
Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
instead of a real kiss.

What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the part
where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle. Might as well start
sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking result, you'll just die
earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't know if there will be
another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
for everybody to see and read?
Damn it all to hell.

--
AZ

AZ, for me, dealing with emotions was as hard, if not harder, than the
physical withdrawal from nicotine during the first few weeks/months of
my quit. Smoking for 25 years to 'plug' all my emotions rendered me an
emotional cripple. It was as if I had water balloons filled for each
emotion for the 25 years I hadn't let them out. When I'd hear a sad
song, I would SOB. When something annoyed me, I would EXPLODE. All
of those amplified feelings would erupt, until each of the 'balloons'
was finally empty. The only way to empty them, for me, was to feel
those feelings. (ew) Then, it was imperative to learn how to Identify
each emotion, as it occured, and learn how to process it. It may
sound simplistic, but I had to go deep inside, each time I felt the
rage, sadness, hysteria and consciously ask what the feeling really
was. If I was hungry, eat. If I was sleepy, take a nap. If I was
angry, feel it and process it safely. If I was sad, cry. The good
news is, now that I've been practicing that for a while, I've
discovered an amazing serenity deep in my core. Without the
mini-withdrawals throughout each day, while smoking, and without the
constant plugging of emotions, there was a peace like i've never
experienced.

It's worth it.

(Nice rant, by the way. I give it a 10!)

DDJacque
TOF

On 2007-08-03 08:30:18 -0400, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> said:

> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting
> angry at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday.
> I went to church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and
> cried like a baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went
> thru how much God loves me and he will never do anything to punish me.
> I disagreed and cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more,
> and did the same thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend
> to be a good Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go
> to church more than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
> lips instead of a real kiss.
>
> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium
> and all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that
> fucking strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking
> cigarette manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking
> muscle. Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same
> fucking result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry.
> I don't know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck
> am I putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
> Damn it all to hell.


--

AZ, for me, dealing with emotions was as hard, if not harder, than the
physical withdrawal from nicotine during the first few weeks/months of
my quit. Smoking for 25 years to 'plug' all my emotions rendered me an
emotional cripple. It was as if I had water balloons filled for each
emotion for the 25 years I hadn't let them out. When I'd hear a sad
song, I would SOB. When something annoyed me, I would EXPLODE. All
of those amplified feelings would erupt, until each of the 'balloons'
was finally empty. The only way to empty them, for me, was to feel
those feelings. (ew) Then, it was imperative to learn how to Identify
each emotion, as it occured, and learn how to process it. It may
sound simplistic, but I had to go deep inside, each time I felt the
rage, sadness, hysteria and consciously ask what the feeling really
was. If I was hungry, eat. If I was sleepy, take a nap. If I was
angry, feel it and process it safely. If I was sad, cry. The good
news is, now that I've been practicing that for a while, I've
discovered an amazing serenity deep in my core. Without the
mini-withdrawals throughout each day, while smoking, and without the
constant plugging of emotions, there was a peace like i've never
experienced.

It's worth it.

(Nice rant, by the way. I give it a 10!)

DDJacque
TOF

On 2007-08-03 08:30:18 -0400, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> said:

> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting
> angry at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday.
> I went to church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and
> cried like a baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went
> thru how much God loves me and he will never do anything to punish me.
> I disagreed and cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more,
> and did the same thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend
> to be a good Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go
> to church more than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
> lips instead of a real kiss.
>
> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium
> and all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that
> fucking strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking
> cigarette manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking
> muscle. Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same
> fucking result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry.
> I don't know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck
> am I putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
> Damn it all to hell.


--

AZ-Glad you're airing your laundry...you're not the only one who's
been through this, won't be the last.

Y'know...When I went through my last big quit (Zyban, AS3, the whole
enchilada)...in '98
I found myself in that exact(!) same kind of anger thing. I attributed
it to the Zyban (too much? Not enough? I'll never know)
I say 'never know', since I dropped off that quit when I got fired,
and my wife's father died...same week...three weeks after quit day.

Anger started up after quit day, but before the LifeChangers.
Nicotine is psychotropic. So is Zyban/Wellbutrin/buproprion...if
you're taking it, talk to your MD. Change the dose, change the brand.

At least you're seeing that it's an issue.
Notice that I am not addressing the religious aspect of ctholicism and
punishment, nor whether Leslie should be giving you big sloppies, or
little pecks.

(you're probably cussin' me out, now

Relax, take deeper breaths (no...deeper than that)
keep posting here,
talk to your MD, if your doing the pill-assisted quit.

Lots of folks can benefit from YOUR s.o.s.
go ahead, pop another one out here...we can take it.
rick

------------------------
So far, I've been smoke-free for Eleven months, four weeks, two days,
15 hours. Totaling 10939 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,187.92. Life
saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.



On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry at
>God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
>church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
>baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
>loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and cried
>and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same thing.
>Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good Catholic, but I
>am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more than once a week.
>Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
>Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
>instead of a real kiss.
>
>What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the part
>where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
>of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
>will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
>all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle. Might as well start
>sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking result, you'll just die
>earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't know if there will be
>another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
>for everybody to see and read?
>Damn it all to hell.

AZ-Glad you're airing your laundry...you're not the only one who's
been through this, won't be the last.

Y'know...When I went through my last big quit (Zyban, AS3, the whole
enchilada)...in '98
I found myself in that exact(!) same kind of anger thing. I attributed
it to the Zyban (too much? Not enough? I'll never know)
I say 'never know', since I dropped off that quit when I got fired,
and my wife's father died...same week...three weeks after quit day.

Anger started up after quit day, but before the LifeChangers.
Nicotine is psychotropic. So is Zyban/Wellbutrin/buproprion...if
you're taking it, talk to your MD. Change the dose, change the brand.

At least you're seeing that it's an issue.
Notice that I am not addressing the religious aspect of ctholicism and
punishment, nor whether Leslie should be giving you big sloppies, or
little pecks.

(you're probably cussin' me out, now

Relax, take deeper breaths (no...deeper than that)
keep posting here,
talk to your MD, if your doing the pill-assisted quit.

Lots of folks can benefit from YOUR s.o.s.
go ahead, pop another one out here...we can take it.
rick

------------------------
So far, I've been smoke-free for Eleven months, four weeks, two days,
15 hours. Totaling 10939 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,187.92. Life
saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.



On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry at
>God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
>church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
>baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
>loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and cried
>and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same thing.
>Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good Catholic, but I
>am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more than once a week.
>Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
>Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
>instead of a real kiss.
>
>What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the part
>where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
>of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
>will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
>all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle. Might as well start
>sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking result, you'll just die
>earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't know if there will be
>another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
>for everybody to see and read?
>Damn it all to hell.

AZ wrote:
> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything.

JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN "PLEASE PASS THE SALT!@!!"

> I even am getting angry at God for making me this way.

In my original post I mentioned that people were begging me to start
smoking again, just so I'd stop being such an ass and getting angry at
everything.

> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
> Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
> instead of a real kiss.

I was lucky. My wife put up with me. She wasn't happy about it, but it
went with the territory. I'd alway apologize for my behavior, and then
in the middle of the apology get angry all over again!! But I was lucky.
My wife tolerated it because it made me a healthier person. It's very
comforting to know that when I die, at least I'll be healthy....

Getting angry seems to be part of the process for many of us. Radical
personality changes, mood swings, likes and dislikes, etc. Sorry about
that, but it's reality smacking us upside the head for abusing ourselves
for so long. In my case, 43 years smoking non-filtered menthols. I just
figured this was my 'payback' for all those years of hurting myself
without knowing it. Now I was hurting myself AND everyone around me, and
having my nose rubbed in it. For me, that phase lasted a few years and
then mellowed... a bit.

> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling?

A good counselor is a GREAT help. Do find one who has gone through the
same thing though. Otherwise, they simply can't understand what the real
problem is. That's why this group is so effective. We've all been there
ourselves, and know exactly what you're going through. And no, it's not
pleasant at all. I can empathize with you but I can't take away the pain
and I can't make you calmer. But you can.

Meditation DOES help a lot. Simple, non-specific, non religious
meditation. Pick up any good book on the subject that doesn't require
you to join a sect or wear special clothing and meditate for 20 minutes
twice a day. You WILL feel better in a week or so. Strange, but true.

> Is this the part
> where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
> of shit to calm me the fuck down?

No, but oddly enough warm milk will work... Heating it up releases
L-tryptophan and serotonin in your brain, (do NOT use a microwave,) both
of which are natural tranqs! So will vanilla ice cream. (See? There's a
positive side to all this!)

> Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
> will alter your fucking mind?

Absolutely. But Lobilia, a common herb, mimics nicotine and binds with
the nicotine receptors in the brain, and eliminates the withdrawal
sysmtoms. And Lobilia is NOT addictive, so after two weeks of taking
lobilia twice a day, so the nicotine is flushed from the body, then
stoping the herb, there are NO withdrawal symptoms at all. But your
problem isn't withdrawal, and may continue long after you've broken the
nicotine addiction. You are addicted to smoking, not just to nicotine.

> Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
> all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.

Hey! They spend millions telling us how bad it is for us. Unfortunately,
they spend BILLIONS on subtle advertising getting more of us to smoke!

> And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
> for everybody to see and read?

Because THAT is the VERY BEST WAY to deal with this problem. So don't
stop. That's what AS3 is all about.

> Damn it all to hell.

You got that right, pard.

Steve Kramer
"PhotoEnvisions" Photography
Chiang Mai, Thailand
http://www.photoenvisions.com
Eight years, eleven months, one week, six days, 15 hours, 20 minutes and
51 seconds. 98089 cigarettes not smoked, saving $24,522.29. Time used
for a better purpose: 48 weeks, 4 days, 14 hours, 5 minutes.

AZ wrote:
> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything.

JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN "PLEASE PASS THE SALT!@!!"

> I even am getting angry at God for making me this way.

In my original post I mentioned that people were begging me to start
smoking again, just so I'd stop being such an ass and getting angry at
everything.

> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
> Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
> instead of a real kiss.

I was lucky. My wife put up with me. She wasn't happy about it, but it
went with the territory. I'd alway apologize for my behavior, and then
in the middle of the apology get angry all over again!! But I was lucky.
My wife tolerated it because it made me a healthier person. It's very
comforting to know that when I die, at least I'll be healthy....

Getting angry seems to be part of the process for many of us. Radical
personality changes, mood swings, likes and dislikes, etc. Sorry about
that, but it's reality smacking us upside the head for abusing ourselves
for so long. In my case, 43 years smoking non-filtered menthols. I just
figured this was my 'payback' for all those years of hurting myself
without knowing it. Now I was hurting myself AND everyone around me, and
having my nose rubbed in it. For me, that phase lasted a few years and
then mellowed... a bit.

> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling?

A good counselor is a GREAT help. Do find one who has gone through the
same thing though. Otherwise, they simply can't understand what the real
problem is. That's why this group is so effective. We've all been there
ourselves, and know exactly what you're going through. And no, it's not
pleasant at all. I can empathize with you but I can't take away the pain
and I can't make you calmer. But you can.

Meditation DOES help a lot. Simple, non-specific, non religious
meditation. Pick up any good book on the subject that doesn't require
you to join a sect or wear special clothing and meditate for 20 minutes
twice a day. You WILL feel better in a week or so. Strange, but true.

> Is this the part
> where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
> of shit to calm me the fuck down?

No, but oddly enough warm milk will work... Heating it up releases
L-tryptophan and serotonin in your brain, (do NOT use a microwave,) both
of which are natural tranqs! So will vanilla ice cream. (See? There's a
positive side to all this!)

> Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
> will alter your fucking mind?

Absolutely. But Lobilia, a common herb, mimics nicotine and binds with
the nicotine receptors in the brain, and eliminates the withdrawal
sysmtoms. And Lobilia is NOT addictive, so after two weeks of taking
lobilia twice a day, so the nicotine is flushed from the body, then
stoping the herb, there are NO withdrawal symptoms at all. But your
problem isn't withdrawal, and may continue long after you've broken the
nicotine addiction. You are addicted to smoking, not just to nicotine.

> Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
> all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.

Hey! They spend millions telling us how bad it is for us. Unfortunately,
they spend BILLIONS on subtle advertising getting more of us to smoke!

> And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
> for everybody to see and read?

Because THAT is the VERY BEST WAY to deal with this problem. So don't
stop. That's what AS3 is all about.

> Damn it all to hell.

You got that right, pard.

Steve Kramer
"PhotoEnvisions" Photography
Chiang Mai, Thailand
http://www.photoenvisions.com
Eight years, eleven months, one week, six days, 15 hours, 20 minutes and
51 seconds. 98089 cigarettes not smoked, saving $24,522.29. Time used
for a better purpose: 48 weeks, 4 days, 14 hours, 5 minutes.

Wait...did I read my meter right?
Does that say Eleven-THOUSAND cigarettes in 11M, 4W, 2D, 15H?
Maybe i better pop that meter for ya again...hang on a sec.

BAM!
------------------------
So far, I've been smoke-free for Eleven months, four weeks, two days,
15 hours. Totaling 10939 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,187.92. Life
saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.

OK, so it's only TEN-THOUSAND, NINE-Hundered, thirty-nne.

Put THAT in the bank at $4 a pack (Minnesota pricing. What was it
costing you in LA?)

rick



On Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:12:32 -0500, RickvV <rickvv@yahoo.com> wrote:

>AZ-Glad you're airing your laundry...you're not the only one who's
>been through this, won't be the last.
>
>go ahead, pop another one out here...we can take it.
>rick
>
>------------------------
>So far, I've been smoke-free for Eleven months, four weeks, two days,
>15 hours. Totaling 10939 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,187.92. Life
>saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.
>
>
>
>On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>
>>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry at

Wait...did I read my meter right?
Does that say Eleven-THOUSAND cigarettes in 11M, 4W, 2D, 15H?
Maybe i better pop that meter for ya again...hang on a sec.

BAM!
------------------------
So far, I've been smoke-free for Eleven months, four weeks, two days,
15 hours. Totaling 10939 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,187.92. Life
saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.

OK, so it's only TEN-THOUSAND, NINE-Hundered, thirty-nne.

Put THAT in the bank at $4 a pack (Minnesota pricing. What was it
costing you in LA?)

rick



On Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:12:32 -0500, RickvV <rickvv@yahoo.com> wrote:

>AZ-Glad you're airing your laundry...you're not the only one who's
>been through this, won't be the last.
>
>go ahead, pop another one out here...we can take it.
>rick
>
>------------------------
>So far, I've been smoke-free for Eleven months, four weeks, two days,
>15 hours. Totaling 10939 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,187.92. Life
>saved: 5 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 35 minutes.
>
>
>
>On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>
>>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry at

You're not unique! You've been squelching your emotions with a cigarette
for years, now there's no buffer between you and your
rage/joy/sadness/irritation/whatever. For the first time since you started
your addiction, you have to learn to manage your raw emotions without that
smoky barrier protecting you.

When you were smoking, if someone/something pissed you off, what did you do?
You WALKED AWAY and smoked a cigarette. Try walking away without the cig.
Grab a bottle of water, or a piece of gum, or just go outside and take some
deep breaths. When you come back, whatever it was will be less intense
because you've taken a moment and separated yourself from it - just
drug-free this time. The little mini-breaks your addiction forced you to
take are still therapeutic for a non-smoker, but we tend not to take them.

Meanwhile, it's ok to be an ass for a while. Come here and dump your anger,
then you can be more human to the ones close to you. When you feel the rage
rising, walk away - go take a cigarette break without the cigarette and see
if it helps.

AnneD


"AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
newsdFsi.1482$QP5.1160@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
> church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
> baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
> loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
> lips instead of a real kiss.
>
> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
> Damn it all to hell.
>
> --
> AZ
>

You're not unique! You've been squelching your emotions with a cigarette
for years, now there's no buffer between you and your
rage/joy/sadness/irritation/whatever. For the first time since you started
your addiction, you have to learn to manage your raw emotions without that
smoky barrier protecting you.

When you were smoking, if someone/something pissed you off, what did you do?
You WALKED AWAY and smoked a cigarette. Try walking away without the cig.
Grab a bottle of water, or a piece of gum, or just go outside and take some
deep breaths. When you come back, whatever it was will be less intense
because you've taken a moment and separated yourself from it - just
drug-free this time. The little mini-breaks your addiction forced you to
take are still therapeutic for a non-smoker, but we tend not to take them.

Meanwhile, it's ok to be an ass for a while. Come here and dump your anger,
then you can be more human to the ones close to you. When you feel the rage
rising, walk away - go take a cigarette break without the cigarette and see
if it helps.

AnneD


"AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
newsdFsi.1482$QP5.1160@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
> church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
> baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
> loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
> lips instead of a real kiss.
>
> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
> Damn it all to hell.
>
> --
> AZ
>

I was the same way. Cussed like a sailor even though I am a Christian who
*tries* to walk the walk; mad all the time, cried all the time, for about 3
months.

Hang in there. It will pass. God can take your anger. AS3 can handle the
posts. Everyone put up with my stuff too. I "let it all hang out". It was
OK. I made it. It passed. I feel good now. You just got 2Ms. Give
yourself about 6 more weeks. You will feel so totally different. At 2M's
my husband told me I was an angry person and my little girl cried and said
"everywhere I go you are mad at me". I wanted to smoke. I love my kids and
my husband. I've done all this stuff to better myself and he basically told
me it didn't matter.

but he lied. He was caught up in the moment when he said that. He didn't
know that it was just part of the process. He couldn't remember who I was.

A month later I asked him if he still believed it. If it was true, and he
said no.

Keep going AZ. push through.

Hugs,
Kathleen

"AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
newsdFsi.1482$QP5.1160@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
> church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
> baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
> loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
> lips instead of a real kiss.
>
> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
> Damn it all to hell.
>
> --
> AZ
>

I was the same way. Cussed like a sailor even though I am a Christian who
*tries* to walk the walk; mad all the time, cried all the time, for about 3
months.

Hang in there. It will pass. God can take your anger. AS3 can handle the
posts. Everyone put up with my stuff too. I "let it all hang out". It was
OK. I made it. It passed. I feel good now. You just got 2Ms. Give
yourself about 6 more weeks. You will feel so totally different. At 2M's
my husband told me I was an angry person and my little girl cried and said
"everywhere I go you are mad at me". I wanted to smoke. I love my kids and
my husband. I've done all this stuff to better myself and he basically told
me it didn't matter.

but he lied. He was caught up in the moment when he said that. He didn't
know that it was just part of the process. He couldn't remember who I was.

A month later I asked him if he still believed it. If it was true, and he
said no.

Keep going AZ. push through.

Hugs,
Kathleen

"AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
newsdFsi.1482$QP5.1160@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
> church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
> baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
> loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
> lips instead of a real kiss.
>
> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
> Damn it all to hell.
>
> --
> AZ
>

On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything.

That's the problem with being a nice person in the first place. No
one noticed any difference with me.

> I even am getting angry at
>God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
>church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
>baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
>loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and cried
>and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same thing.
>Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good Catholic, but I
>am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more than once a week.
>Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
>Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
>instead of a real kiss.
>
>What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling?

I'm no expert, but I doubt it. Everything passes eventually.

> Is this the part
>where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
>of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
>will alter your fucking mind?

Hell, yeah!!

> Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
>all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle. Might as well start
>sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking result, you'll just die
>earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't know if there will be
>another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
>for everybody to see and read?

Because that's what AS3 is here for.

>Damn it all to hell.

Everyone is different. Everyone goes through different stages in
different orders. Not the right time to tell you to have patience
because that's the problem but you need to wait this out and don't
quit your quit over it.
Sue

On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything.

That's the problem with being a nice person in the first place. No
one noticed any difference with me.

> I even am getting angry at
>God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
>church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
>baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
>loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and cried
>and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same thing.
>Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good Catholic, but I
>am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more than once a week.
>Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
>Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
>instead of a real kiss.
>
>What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling?

I'm no expert, but I doubt it. Everything passes eventually.

> Is this the part
>where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
>of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
>will alter your fucking mind?

Hell, yeah!!

> Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
>all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle. Might as well start
>sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking result, you'll just die
>earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't know if there will be
>another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
>for everybody to see and read?

Because that's what AS3 is here for.

>Damn it all to hell.

Everyone is different. Everyone goes through different stages in
different orders. Not the right time to tell you to have patience
because that's the problem but you need to wait this out and don't
quit your quit over it.
Sue

"Steve Kramer" <steve@seatraveler.com> wrote in message
news:f8ve8s$voe$1@news.loxinfo.co.th...
> AZ wrote:
> No, but oddly enough warm milk will work... Heating it up releases L-tryptophan and
> serotonin in your brain, (do NOT use a microwave,) both of which are natural tranqs! So
> will vanilla ice cream. (See? There's a positive side to all this!)

Why not use a microwave? You mean to heat the milk? or just in general?

Ripley...who loves warm milk! :-)

"Steve Kramer" <steve@seatraveler.com> wrote in message
news:f8ve8s$voe$1@news.loxinfo.co.th...
> AZ wrote:
> No, but oddly enough warm milk will work... Heating it up releases L-tryptophan and
> serotonin in your brain, (do NOT use a microwave,) both of which are natural tranqs! So
> will vanilla ice cream. (See? There's a positive side to all this!)

Why not use a microwave? You mean to heat the milk? or just in general?

Ripley...who loves warm milk! :-)

AZ, as everyone here has stated already, smoking does repress a LOT of
our feelings, both good and bad. When we smober-up, we start feeling
feelings for the first time in years and it's wierd and strange and
hard to take at times. Hang in there, it will calm down over time and
as you emerge it will be as a stronger whole person who better knows
yourself. If you do find that you are getting depressed and it
doesn't lift in a couple of weeks, talk it over with your doctor.
There is a strong connection between getting smober and getting
depressed. Sometimes some limited drug use can counter this as your
body adjusts to normal, which is a place we have NOT been in a long
time.

Hang Tuff
Don't Puff

You are doing well with your quit overall and you know you don't want
to go back to sickerettes!

FlatironMike
Five months, three weeks, two days, 15 hours, 18 minutes and 12
seconds. 3472 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,041.58. Life saved: 1
week, 5 days, 1 hour, 20 minutes.

AZ, as everyone here has stated already, smoking does repress a LOT of
our feelings, both good and bad. When we smober-up, we start feeling
feelings for the first time in years and it's wierd and strange and
hard to take at times. Hang in there, it will calm down over time and
as you emerge it will be as a stronger whole person who better knows
yourself. If you do find that you are getting depressed and it
doesn't lift in a couple of weeks, talk it over with your doctor.
There is a strong connection between getting smober and getting
depressed. Sometimes some limited drug use can counter this as your
body adjusts to normal, which is a place we have NOT been in a long
time.

Hang Tuff
Don't Puff

You are doing well with your quit overall and you know you don't want
to go back to sickerettes!

FlatironMike
Five months, three weeks, two days, 15 hours, 18 minutes and 12
seconds. 3472 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,041.58. Life saved: 1
week, 5 days, 1 hour, 20 minutes.

Forgot to mention that I even slipped in my recovery program and took some
pills (Vicodin) for a week beyond what I needed them for. I had to reset my
sobriety date and everything, and I really believe the major cause for that
was that I wanted to escape all those feelings.

Hey! I have an AA birthday coming up!! Whooohoooooo! 5 years... wow.
With hope and heart,
Kathleen



>I was the same way. Cussed like a sailor even though I am a Christian who
>*tries* to walk the walk; mad all the time, cried all the time, for about 3
>months.
>
> Hang in there. It will pass. God can take your anger. AS3 can handle
> the posts. Everyone put up with my stuff too. I "let it all hang out".
> It was OK. I made it. It passed. I feel good now. You just got 2Ms.
> Give yourself about 6 more weeks. You will feel so totally different. At
> 2M's my husband told me I was an angry person and my little girl cried and
> said "everywhere I go you are mad at me". I wanted to smoke. I love my
> kids and my husband. I've done all this stuff to better myself and he
> basically told me it didn't matter.
>
> but he lied. He was caught up in the moment when he said that. He didn't
> know that it was just part of the process. He couldn't remember who I
> was.
>
> A month later I asked him if he still believed it. If it was true, and he
> said no.
>
> Keep going AZ. push through.
>
> Hugs,
> Kathleen
>
> "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> newsdFsi.1482$QP5.1160@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
>> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
>> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went
>> to church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like
>> a baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much
>> God loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
>> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
>> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
>> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
>> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
>> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
>> lips instead of a real kiss.
>>
>> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
>> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
>> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
>> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
>> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
>> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
>> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
>> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
>> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
>> Damn it all to hell.
>>
>> --
>> AZ
>>
>
>

Forgot to mention that I even slipped in my recovery program and took some
pills (Vicodin) for a week beyond what I needed them for. I had to reset my
sobriety date and everything, and I really believe the major cause for that
was that I wanted to escape all those feelings.

Hey! I have an AA birthday coming up!! Whooohoooooo! 5 years... wow.
With hope and heart,
Kathleen



>I was the same way. Cussed like a sailor even though I am a Christian who
>*tries* to walk the walk; mad all the time, cried all the time, for about 3
>months.
>
> Hang in there. It will pass. God can take your anger. AS3 can handle
> the posts. Everyone put up with my stuff too. I "let it all hang out".
> It was OK. I made it. It passed. I feel good now. You just got 2Ms.
> Give yourself about 6 more weeks. You will feel so totally different. At
> 2M's my husband told me I was an angry person and my little girl cried and
> said "everywhere I go you are mad at me". I wanted to smoke. I love my
> kids and my husband. I've done all this stuff to better myself and he
> basically told me it didn't matter.
>
> but he lied. He was caught up in the moment when he said that. He didn't
> know that it was just part of the process. He couldn't remember who I
> was.
>
> A month later I asked him if he still believed it. If it was true, and he
> said no.
>
> Keep going AZ. push through.
>
> Hugs,
> Kathleen
>
> "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> newsdFsi.1482$QP5.1160@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
>> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
>> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went
>> to church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like
>> a baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much
>> God loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
>> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
>> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
>> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
>> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
>> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
>> lips instead of a real kiss.
>>
>> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
>> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
>> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
>> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
>> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
>> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
>> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
>> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
>> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
>> Damn it all to hell.
>>
>> --
>> AZ
>>
>
>

What a great post. Ditto, what she said!

With hope and heart,
Kathleen

"DDJacque" <shoppell@msu.edu> wrote in message
news:f8va2k$f41$1@news.msu.edu...
> AZ, for me, dealing with emotions was as hard, if not harder, than the
> physical withdrawal from nicotine during the first few weeks/months of my
> quit. Smoking for 25 years to 'plug' all my emotions rendered me an
> emotional cripple. It was as if I had water balloons filled for each
> emotion for the 25 years I hadn't let them out. When I'd hear a sad song,
> I would SOB. When something annoyed me, I would EXPLODE. All of those
> amplified feelings would erupt, until each of the 'balloons' was finally
> empty. The only way to empty them, for me, was to feel those feelings.
> (ew) Then, it was imperative to learn how to Identify each emotion, as it
> occured, and learn how to process it. It may sound simplistic, but I had
> to go deep inside, each time I felt the rage, sadness, hysteria and
> consciously ask what the feeling really was. If I was hungry, eat. If I
> was sleepy, take a nap. If I was angry, feel it and process it safely.
> If I was sad, cry. The good news is, now that I've been practicing that
> for a while, I've discovered an amazing serenity deep in my core. Without
> the mini-withdrawals throughout each day, while smoking, and without the
> constant plugging of emotions, there was a peace like i've never
> experienced.
>
> It's worth it.
>
> (Nice rant, by the way. I give it a 10!)
>
> DDJacque
> TOF
>
> On 2007-08-03 08:30:18 -0400, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> said:
>
>> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
>> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went
>> to church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like
>> a baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much
>> God loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
>> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
>> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
>> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
>> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
>> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
>> lips instead of a real kiss.
>>
>> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
>> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
>> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
>> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
>> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
>> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
>> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
>> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
>> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
>> Damn it all to hell.
>
>
> --
>

What a great post. Ditto, what she said!

With hope and heart,
Kathleen

"DDJacque" <shoppell@msu.edu> wrote in message
news:f8va2k$f41$1@news.msu.edu...
> AZ, for me, dealing with emotions was as hard, if not harder, than the
> physical withdrawal from nicotine during the first few weeks/months of my
> quit. Smoking for 25 years to 'plug' all my emotions rendered me an
> emotional cripple. It was as if I had water balloons filled for each
> emotion for the 25 years I hadn't let them out. When I'd hear a sad song,
> I would SOB. When something annoyed me, I would EXPLODE. All of those
> amplified feelings would erupt, until each of the 'balloons' was finally
> empty. The only way to empty them, for me, was to feel those feelings.
> (ew) Then, it was imperative to learn how to Identify each emotion, as it
> occured, and learn how to process it. It may sound simplistic, but I had
> to go deep inside, each time I felt the rage, sadness, hysteria and
> consciously ask what the feeling really was. If I was hungry, eat. If I
> was sleepy, take a nap. If I was angry, feel it and process it safely.
> If I was sad, cry. The good news is, now that I've been practicing that
> for a while, I've discovered an amazing serenity deep in my core. Without
> the mini-withdrawals throughout each day, while smoking, and without the
> constant plugging of emotions, there was a peace like i've never
> experienced.
>
> It's worth it.
>
> (Nice rant, by the way. I give it a 10!)
>
> DDJacque
> TOF
>
> On 2007-08-03 08:30:18 -0400, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> said:
>
>> Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry
>> at God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went
>> to church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like
>> a baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much
>> God loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and
>> cried and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same
>> thing. Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good
>> Catholic, but I am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more
>> than once a week. Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>> Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I
>> know. Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the
>> lips instead of a real kiss.
>>
>> What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the
>> part where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and
>> all kind of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking
>> strong that it will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette
>> manufacturers knew all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle.
>> Might as well start sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking
>> result, you'll just die earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't
>> know if there will be another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I
>> putting my dirty laundry out for everybody to see and read?
>> Damn it all to hell.
>
>
> --
>

On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 07:30:18 -0500, "AZ" <azikra@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>Well, it seems I am getting angry at everything. I even am getting angry at
>God for making me this way. I met with my Bishop yesterday. I went to
>church about 10 minutes before our meeting, and prayed and cried like a
>baby. Then we talked for an hour and a half. We went thru how much God
>loves me and he will never do anything to punish me. I disagreed and cried
>and asked for forgiveness. Disagreed some more, and did the same thing.
>Man, I was a different person. I don't pretend to be a good Catholic, but I
>am not a bad one, either. I "used to" go to church more than once a week.
>Now, only on most Sundays...at best.
>Last night I could not stop arguing with Leslie. I was just angry, I know.
>Same this morning. She left for work, with a mere a peck on the lips
>instead of a real kiss.
>
>What the fuck is happening? Do I need fucking counseling? Is this the part
>where I fucking lose it, and they start pumping me with Lithium and all kind
>of shit to calm me the fuck down? Is nicotine that fucking strong that it
>will alter your fucking mind? Mother fucking cigarette manufacturers knew
>all about this, and no one moved a fucking muscle. Might as well start
>sniffing fucking cocaine, and get the same fucking result, you'll just die
>earlier without being so fucking angry. I don't know if there will be
>another fucking S.O.S. And why the fuck am I putting my dirty laundry out
>for everybody to see and read?
>Damn it all to hell.

Good rant AZ, though I get the picture and it's not funny. I don't
know what to say that hasn't been said already, but I'll try anyway...

When I get this way I can go ahead and blow up, but I look at what I
said or did as soon as I can and try to find something about it that's
funny about what I did. The next time it comes up, I'm more likely to
just laugh instead of blowing up. They call it hysterical humor, and
you'll be the only one to get it. Careful not to go over the edge ;-)

I think it kind of get's you comfortable with 'you' when you can laugh
at yourself. Truth is, you need to like 'you' more than you do now and
not take yourself so seriously, before things around you are going to
look much better. You know how it's said that you are what you eat?
Well, in a round about way, you are who you say who you are.

Gary W.
--