Should I be pissed?

On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.

He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
"suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
that would convince him to use the patch.

When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
anything because I know it's useless.

Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!

Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
emotionally draining.

Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
available.

An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
and at least one hour of walking around.

He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.

I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
(including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.

I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
"make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
thought that a non-smoking life is possible.

My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
occupies the same body.

I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
steel-toed shoes.

I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
call the BDU.

If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
of shit! Asshole!

I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.

Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!

Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

On Jun 29, 2:31 pm, BessieBee <BessieBee@I_dont_smoke_anymore.com>
wrote:
> On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> that would convince him to use the patch.
>
> When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
> anything because I know it's useless.
>
> Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
> clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
> as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
> hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
> His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!
>
> Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
> to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
> Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
> a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
> the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
> pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
> coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
> the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
> Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
> into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
> 4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
> of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
> emotionally draining.
>
> Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
> a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
> that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
> way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
> available.
>
> An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
> Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
> stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
> used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
> and at least one hour of walking around.
>
> He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
> the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
> He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
> being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
> after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.
>
> I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
> him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
> hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
> smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
> stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
> fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
> and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
> (including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
> smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.
>
> I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
> his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
> "make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
> thought that a non-smoking life is possible.
>
> My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
> quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
> could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
> enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
> such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
> and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
> occupies the same body.
>
> I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
> him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
> steel-toed shoes.
>
> I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
> call the BDU.
>
> If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
> fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
> of shit! Asshole!
>
> I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
> over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.
>
> Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!
>
> Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
> not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
> 5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.
>
> --
> BessieBee
>
> "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
> Steven Wright

(((((((Leslie)))))))) What a shitty time you have had of it lately.
I am couriering my steel toed pointy shoes to you as we speak. I
can't even fathom being in this situation, and I can't belive the
sheer strength of the nicodemons hold on your hubby. I am at a loss
for words. Maybe you should staple his lips shut. Giving you a 10
out of sheer shittiness of the whole experience. Hope he gets a wake
up call soon.

Hugs

Sarah and Steve

Well. . . . you do deserve a 10.0 on that rant, from your neighbor
judge in Butfuc Missouri.
Damn! Cigarettes are horrible things. The addiction is mind
altering, stronger than reason.
Hang in there. Your not smoking is the best thing for everyone
in your family.

jacks


> On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> that would convince him to use the patch.
>
> When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
> anything because I know it's useless.
>
> Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
> clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
> as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
> hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
> His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!
>
> Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
> to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
> Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
> a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
> the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
> pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
> coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
> the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
> Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
> into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
> 4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
> of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
> emotionally draining.
>
> Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
> a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
> that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
> way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
> available.
>
> An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
> Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
> stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
> used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
> and at least one hour of walking around.
>
> He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
> the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
> He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
> being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
> after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.
>
> I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
> him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
> hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
> smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
> stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
> fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
> and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
> (including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
> smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.
>
> I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
> his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
> "make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
> thought that a non-smoking life is possible.
>
> My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
> quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
> could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
> enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
> such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
> and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
> occupies the same body.
>
> I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
> him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
> steel-toed shoes.
>
> I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
> call the BDU.
>
> If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
> fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
> of shit! Asshole!
>
> I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
> over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.
>
> Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!
>
> Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
> not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
> 5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.
>
> --
> BessieBee
>
> "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
> Steven Wright

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BessieBee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I totally have no
words of insight to share to help you with your husband, but I can
certainly understand how much pain and stress you are going through.
I can't say 'hang on, it will get better' as the situation is one that
is out of your hands and totally in his. I guess you just have to
realize that on a gut level and do your best to let his smoking go,
even though you know the consequences. Still, letting go may help you
cope with the stress a bit. Each of us can only do for ourselves when
it comes down to the wire and nobody can do it for us. Just know that
I send you out heartfelt hugs and hope you cope through this
situation.

FlatironMike
FSS
Four months, two weeks, four days, 18 hours, 25 minutes and 15
seconds. 2775 cigarettes not smoked, saving $832.35. Life saved: 1
week, 2 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes.

No, you should not be pissed. I mean yeah, but it ain't gonna do any good.
Really, it just aggravates you.
As a quitter, you know that the quit has to come from inside, and near death
is
not always a motivator.

We have a very similar round with my Father in Law. ICU, surgery, angio's,
you know the drill. What does he make his poor, exhausted wife do when they
finally get out
of the hospital? Ready? He made her stop and buy him a 10 piece bucket of
KFC fried chicken
and he ate every single bite on the way home.

sigh.

I really, really feel for you! (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

jojo



"BessieBee" <BessieBee@I_dont_smoke_anymore.com> wrote in message
news:t9oa83luisf3i2jp0uuqv5f7f4qtq1tcps@4ax.com...
> On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> that would convince him to use the patch.
>
> When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
> anything because I know it's useless.
>
> Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
> clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
> as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
> hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
> His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!
>
> Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
> to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
> Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
> a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
> the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
> pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
> coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
> the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
> Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
> into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
> 4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
> of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
> emotionally draining.
>
> Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
> a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
> that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
> way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
> available.
>
> An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
> Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
> stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
> used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
> and at least one hour of walking around.
>
> He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
> the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
> He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
> being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
> after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.
>
> I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
> him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
> hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
> smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
> stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
> fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
> and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
> (including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
> smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.
>
> I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
> his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
> "make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
> thought that a non-smoking life is possible.
>
> My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
> quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
> could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
> enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
> such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
> and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
> occupies the same body.
>
> I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
> him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
> steel-toed shoes.
>
> I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
> call the BDU.
>
> If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
> fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
> of shit! Asshole!
>
> I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
> over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.
>
> Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!
>
> Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
> not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
> 5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.
>
> --
> BessieBee
>
> "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
> Steven Wright

Several years ago, my wife was in the SICU. What do I see but a new
post-op Quad Bypass patient shuffling outside in the robe, pushing an
IV Tree, still all hooked up to IV, into a smoking area.

Shaking head.

you SHOULD be proud of your meter AND yourself.
be sure to get some real rest, and then when you can, sit your husband down
and tell him, how hard it is for you to watch him die.
no more, no less.
give him a big kiss and go do something else.
i have never seen, studied, or worked with a worse drug than nicotine. the
addiction is unbelievable.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((bb))))))))))))))))))))))) )






"BessieBee" <BessieBee@I_dont_smoke_anymore.com> wrote in message
news:t9oa83luisf3i2jp0uuqv5f7f4qtq1tcps@4ax.com...
> On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> that would convince him to use the patch.
>
> When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
> anything because I know it's useless.
>
> Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
> clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
> as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
> hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
> His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!
>
> Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
> to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
> Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
> a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
> the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
> pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
> coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
> the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
> Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
> into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
> 4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
> of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
> emotionally draining.
>
> Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
> a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
> that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
> way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
> available.
>
> An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
> Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
> stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
> used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
> and at least one hour of walking around.
>
> He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
> the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
> He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
> being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
> after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.
>
> I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
> him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
> hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
> smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
> stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
> fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
> and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
> (including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
> smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.
>
> I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
> his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
> "make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
> thought that a non-smoking life is possible.
>
> My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
> quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
> could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
> enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
> such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
> and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
> occupies the same body.
>
> I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
> him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
> steel-toed shoes.
>
> I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
> call the BDU.
>
> If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
> fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
> of shit! Asshole!
>
> I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
> over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.
>
> Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!
>
> Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
> not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
> 5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.
>
> --
> BessieBee
>
> "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
> Steven Wright

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 17:15:35 -0400, THISTime <Nope@notonusenet.him>
wrote:

>Several years ago, my wife was in the SICU. What do I see but a new
>post-op Quad Bypass patient shuffling outside in the robe, pushing an
>IV Tree, still all hooked up to IV, into a smoking area.

That was one of the things that got me started on my quit. I was
hospitalized and on an IV. I as free to leave my room and walk all
over. However, to get to the outside smoking area (a truly nasty
enclosed bus shelter type thing. I, along with the rest of my
husband's family, spent a lot of time there while his mother was in
the hospital for the last time, dying of emphysema) I would have had
to go down the elevator, walk through the main hallway, through the
lobby and out the front door. I absolutely refused to do that while
dragging an IV pole.

I remember the days when one of the questions asked during the
admission process was, "smoking room?"
--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

(((((BessieBee)))))

I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you!

My mother still tells the story of my grandmother (my father's
mother), who had a quadruple bypass back in the early days of
quadruple bypasses -- I was pretty small. Anyway, my mother made some
crack to her about maybe now she'll quit smoking and my grandmother
told her *she'd rather die smoking than live without it.* Blew my
mother (who has never smoked) away. My grandmother did eventually
quit, by the way, years later and after about a month on a respirator,
which I hear isn't a fun experience. She is no longer with us now but
it's hard to say if she died from smoking. She had an aneurysm on her
aorta, and I dunno what causes those.

Anyhoo. My point here is that as much as you'd like your husband to
quit, you can't quit FOR him, and he can't quit for anybody but
himself. And you know that. I'm sure he knows that it's not helping
his current situation, and I'm sure he knows that you're only
frustrated with him because you love him and you want him to be around
for a long time. The decision has to be his, though. And being pissed
off just won't change this, I'm afraid.

We are here for you when you need us. Sending you and your hubby lots
of love and good wishes.

Ashley

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:44:39 -0700, Steve and Sarah
<wfo_throttle@yahoo.ca> wrote:

>(((((((Leslie)))))))) What a shitty time you have had of it lately.
>I am couriering my steel toed pointy shoes to you as we speak. I
>can't even fathom being in this situation, and I can't belive the
>sheer strength of the nicodemons hold on your hubby. I am at a loss
>for words. Maybe you should staple his lips shut. Giving you a 10
>out of sheer shittiness of the whole experience. Hope he gets a wake
>up call soon.

Thanks, Sarah. :-) I don't think the nicodemon has a hold on him any
stronger than on the rest of us, my DH is just being a dickhead. As
we speak he's sitting in "his chair" sorting all his pills. Hard to
believe this white haired gentleman is the same as the blond haired
man I met & married, the classic rock fanatic, child of the 60s hippy
dude.

May I keep the steel toed pointy shoes for a bit?

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

((((BB)))))

Good rant!

A lady that lost her leg up to her hip due to cancer was told if she was
cancer free in a year she should be fine. She quit smoking the day she
was admitted to have her leg removed. Due to complications she stayed
in the hospital for almost 3 months -- her and my wife shared the same
room for several weeks and became good friends. A couple of weeks after
both had been home she called to talk to my wife ... I could hear her
inhaling on a smoke on the other end of the phone ... I couldn't believe
it . I cried in the hospital for her because of the pain she had to
endure. I couldn't believe it.

While at Nortel, Jimmy the hard living tech had a cardiac episode. He
was smoking as they wheeled him out ...

Some people never learn. It's a powerful addiction. That's why you and
I and many of us OF'ers are still here to help out the newbs and let
them know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that it is worth
it, that it is doable.

Hugs,
Marvin

BessieBee wrote:
> On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> that would convince him to use the patch.
>
> When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
> anything because I know it's useless.
>
> Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
> clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
> as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
> hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
> His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!
>
> Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
> to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
> Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
> a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
> the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
> pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
> coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
> the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
> Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
> into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
> 4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
> of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
> emotionally draining.
>
> Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
> a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
> that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
> way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
> available.
>
> An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
> Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
> stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
> used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
> and at least one hour of walking around.
>
> He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
> the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
> He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
> being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
> after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.
>
> I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
> him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
> hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
> smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
> stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
> fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
> and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
> (including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
> smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.
>
> I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
> his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
> "make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
> thought that a non-smoking life is possible.
>
> My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
> quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
> could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
> enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
> such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
> and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
> occupies the same body.
>
> I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
> him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
> steel-toed shoes.
>
> I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
> call the BDU.
>
> If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
> fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
> of shit! Asshole!
>
> I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
> over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.
>
> Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!
>
> Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
> not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
> 5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.
>
> --
> BessieBee
>
> "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
> Steven Wright


--
I don't smoke. I smell like bread. Life is Good.

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 15:52:01 -0500, "jacks" <jacks@nospam.corn> wrote:

>Well. . . . you do deserve a 10.0 on that rant, from your neighbor
>judge in Butfuc Missouri.
>Damn! Cigarettes are horrible things. The addiction is mind
>altering, stronger than reason.
>Hang in there. Your not smoking is the best thing for everyone
>in your family.
>
>jacks

Thanks, jacks. I don't know about my not smoking being the best for
my family, but it's certainly best for me.

Part of the difficulty of the past 24 hours has been my (our) son's
attitude that, "Well, if he wants to smoke let him. When you quit all
we heard was 'I want a cigarette!!!' Leave Father alone." I don't
even have our son's support in hoping my husband will quit. My
husband's attitude for the past few months (spoken only one time) is
that if our son thinks it's OK for him to smoke why the hell am I
bitching about it?

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:56:07 -0700, FlatIronMike
<FlatironMikeNYC@gmail.com> wrote:

>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BessieBee}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I totally have no
>words of insight to share to help you with your husband, but I can
>certainly understand how much pain and stress you are going through.
>I can't say 'hang on, it will get better' as the situation is one that
>is out of your hands and totally in his. I guess you just have to
>realize that on a gut level and do your best to let his smoking go,
>even though you know the consequences. Still, letting go may help you
>cope with the stress a bit. Each of us can only do for ourselves when
>it comes down to the wire and nobody can do it for us. Just know that
>I send you out heartfelt hugs and hope you cope through this
>situation.
>
>FlatironMike
>FSS
>Four months, two weeks, four days, 18 hours, 25 minutes and 15
>seconds. 2775 cigarettes not smoked, saving $832.35. Life saved: 1
>week, 2 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes.

Thanks, Mike. I don't know the story on your gnomes - I wasn't around
much when you first started posting here. Is it possible for you to
send some really ugly ones to do whatever they do? My husband's name
is Mike, also, so they should feel right at home. Of course, if your
gnomes wear steel toed pointy shoes that would be good, too. :-)


--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:00:44 -0500, "jojo" <cgv_2000@*remove your
hat*yahoo.com> wrote:

>No, you should not be pissed. I mean yeah, but it ain't gonna do any good.
>Really, it just aggravates you.
>As a quitter, you know that the quit has to come from inside, and near death
>is
>not always a motivator.
>
>We have a very similar round with my Father in Law. ICU, surgery, angio's,
>you know the drill. What does he make his poor, exhausted wife do when they
>finally get out
>of the hospital? Ready? He made her stop and buy him a 10 piece bucket of
>KFC fried chicken
>and he ate every single bite on the way home.
>
>sigh.
>
>I really, really feel for you! (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
>
>jojo

Thanks, jojo. My head *knows* I shouldn't be pissed, but my heart is
pissed anyway. Right now he's outside smoking. He told me he was
going outside "to make a phone call." Uh huh. He smokes outside, but
only when I'm home. He thinks if I'm not here I won't smell it. I
came home the other day and immediately smelled smoke. I asked him if
he'd had a stink stick inside and his answer was, "Yes! That was an
HOUR ago!"

If he would just say, "I'd like to quit, but can't" or "one of these
days I'll try" I'd feel a whole lot better.

When my husband's first heart attack started he was almost home from
driving to KFC. He thought those heart-attack-in-a-bowl things
(mashed potatoes,corn & some kind of fried "meat") were awesome! He
never got to eat that one and since then can't bring himself to go to
KFC. Maybe I should just be happy with small victories. :-)

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:29:03 -0500, "readandpostrosie"
<READANDPOST@YAHOO.COM> wrote:

>you SHOULD be proud of your meter AND yourself.
>be sure to get some real rest, and then when you can, sit your husband down
>and tell him, how hard it is for you to watch him die.
>no more, no less.
>give him a big kiss and go do something else.
>i have never seen, studied, or worked with a worse drug than nicotine. the
>addiction is unbelievable.
>
>(((((((((((((((((((((((((bb)))))))))))))))))))))) ))

Thank you, rosie! I will always be proud of my meter. I have my goal
set at TOF. I just think Titanic Old Fogey sounds wonderful! :-)

I have told my husband I don't want to watch him die, and we've both
watched our mothers die from the effects of smoking. None of that
seems to matter to him.

Part of my problem is that I've got "severe sleep apnea." That was dx
a few weeks ago. I go back to the sleep center tonight to get
whatever kind of machine I'm going to get and to have it set up for
me. I know those aren't all the correct terms, but they'll work for
now. I've been assured that I'll feel *MUCH* better when I start
getting a good night's sleep. Hopefully that will start tonight.

Maybe the world will look much better when I'm not viewing it through
blood-shot eyes.

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

On Jun 29, 5:59 pm, Marvin The Paranoid Android
<marvinparanoidandr...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> ((((BB)))))
>
> Good rant!
>
> A lady that lost her leg up to her hip due to cancer was told if she was
> cancer free in a year she should be fine. She quit smoking the day she
> was admitted to have her leg removed. Due to complications she stayed
> in the hospital for almost 3 months -- her and my wife shared the same
> room for several weeks and became good friends. A couple of weeks after
> both had been home she called to talk to my wife ... I could hear her
> inhaling on a smoke on the other end of the phone ... I couldn't believe
> it . I cried in the hospital for her because of the pain she had to
> endure. I couldn't believe it.
>
> While at Nortel, Jimmy the hard living tech had a cardiac episode. He
> was smoking as they wheeled him out ...
>
> Some people never learn. It's a powerful addiction. That's why you and
> I and many of us OF'ers are still here to help out the newbs and let
> them know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that it is worth
> it, that it is doable.
>
> Hugs,
> Marvin
>
>
>
>
>
> BessieBee wrote:
> > On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> > face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> > short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> > week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> > a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> > which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> > past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> > arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> > and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> > timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> > He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> > steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> > "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> > get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> > reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> > that would convince him to use the patch.
>
> > When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> > was light up. He's continued to smoke since. I've stopped saying
> > anything because I know it's useless.
>
> > Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> > doesn't feel right." I was out of bed in a flash, grabbing for
> > clothes as I moved. I told him I'd be ready to leave in 30 seconds,
> > as soon as I put clothes on and peed. (We live 1.5 blocks from the
> > hospital and can be there faster than the ambulance could reach us)
> > His comment, "While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> > asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!
>
> > Long story short again, our local ER had him shipped, via ambulance,
> > to Genesis Hospital in Davenport, IA, about an hour south of here.
> > Both his and my cardiologist is at Genesis. DH was taken directly to
> > a room on the cardiac floor where we were met by our cardiologist. All
> > the tests that had been run didn't show anything wrong, BUT chest
> > pains aren't to be ignored, especially with a recent "massive
> > coronary." Doctor recommended an angiogram to get a close up look at
> > the 5 month old stents, they could be collapsing, blocked, etc.
> > Genesis is a very large and busy hospital and they'd get my husband
> > into the cath lab just as soon as possible. He was taken down at
> > 4:15PM. Those 12 hours between when he woke me up and then were some
> > of the longest hours I've ever spent. Physically draining and
> > emotionally draining.
>
> > Our son and I were sitting in his room (a private one, thank goodness!
> > a trend in cardiac care and probably in most hospital care) in chairs
> > that couldn't quite be called torture chairs. The room was nice, but
> > way too teeny for any of the recliner chairs that might have been
> > available.
>
> > An hour after being taken to the cath lab we were met - briefly! - by
> > Dr. Doogie Houser who let us know that there were no problems, the
> > stents were good and did not have to be replaced and no balloons were
> > used. Because of that DH could go home after 4-5 hours of bed rest
> > and at least one hour of walking around.
>
> > He was finally discharged around 10:30 last night. We hadn't been in
> > the car 30 seconds when DH asked to stop at the nearest gas station.
> > He didn't dare say out loud what he was going to buy at 10:30PM after
> > being discharged from the cardiac floor, after having an angiogram,
> > after scaring the beejeezus out of his wife and son.
>
> > I hadn't dared to hope that this episode would be the one that made
> > him realize that smoking just might be shortening his life, but I had
> > hoped that he would at least wait until we got home. I don't want him
> > smoking in my car so we stopped at some godforsaken gas station and he
> > stood outside the car, not 10 minutes out of the hospital, smoking a
> > fucking cigarette. About 50 minutes later we pulled into our driveway
> > and he stepped out of the car, took all the paperwork inside
> > (including all the stuff the nurses had given him about quitting
> > smoking) and went right back outside for another fucking cigarette.
>
> > I don't know why this time I'm having such a hard time dealing with
> > his absolute refusal to even think about quitting. I know I can't
> > "make" him (or anyone else) quit, but he won't even entertain the
> > thought that a non-smoking life is possible.
>
> > My head tells me it's completely useless to try to convince him to
> > quit. Before I quit I don't think there was anything anyone else
> > could have said to convince me to quit. My own health scares were
> > enough. My heart just wants to turn off completely because I'm having
> > such a hard time reconciling my feelings for my husband of 20+ years
> > and for the hard headed, completely stupid, thoughtless man that
> > occupies the same body.
>
> > I talked to a friend earlier today and she gave me permission to kick
> > him in the rear for her. Now I just have to find a pair of pointy,
> > steel-toed shoes.
>
> > I'm pissed, disappointed, heartbroken, annoyed, angry, and ready to
> > call the BDU.
>
> > If anyone cares to rate this rant let me add: fuck! fuckity fuckity
> > fuckity!!!! Asswipe! Shithead moron! Twit!! Rude, ignorant, piece
> > of shit! Asshole!
>
> > I'm too tired right now to add more. Just repeat the above paragraph
> > over and over and aim it towards eastern Iowa.
>
> > Here's my meter and I'm fucking proud of it!!!
>
> > Two years, nine months, 31 minutes and 47 seconds. 60181 cigarettes
> > not smoked, saving $7,522.66. Life saved: 29 weeks, 5 days, 23 hours,
> > 5 minutes. My quit date and time is September 29, 2004 @ 3:00PM.
>
> > --
> > BessieBee
>
> > "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
> > Steven Wright
>
> --
> I don't smoke. I smell like bread. Life is Good.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

BB - Thank God he is okay right now. Thank God your quit is secure. I
know you want him to quit, I know you can't make him quit, I know you
are probably at the end of your rope. You have done what you can. Give
it up. Nagging will just make him dig his heels in deeper. Does he
have a will? Make him.
Hugs to you & him & son
Pam

"BessieBee" <BessieBee@I_dont_smoke_anymore.com> wrote in message
news:a9va83pm68cb7luqid6khsdu3ota7bacf3@4ax.com...
: On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:44:39 -0700, Steve and Sarah
: <wfo_throttle@yahoo.ca> wrote:
:
: >(((((((Leslie)))))))) What a shitty time you have had of it lately.
: >I am couriering my steel toed pointy shoes to you as we speak. I
: >can't even fathom being in this situation, and I can't belive the
: >sheer strength of the nicodemons hold on your hubby. I am at a loss
: >for words. Maybe you should staple his lips shut. Giving you a 10
: >out of sheer shittiness of the whole experience. Hope he gets a wake
: >up call soon.
:
: Thanks, Sarah. :-) I don't think the nicodemon has a hold on him any
: stronger than on the rest of us, my DH is just being a dickhead. As
: we speak he's sitting in "his chair" sorting all his pills. Hard to
: believe this white haired gentleman is the same as the blond haired
: man I met & married, the classic rock fanatic, child of the 60s hippy
: dude.
:
: May I keep the steel toed pointy shoes for a bit?
:
: --
: BessieBee
:
: "OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
: Steven Wright

You can keep them for as long as you need them, honey. I have spares!
I can imagine how frustrated you must feel knowing what he is doing to
himself. My mum went to Paris and spent two months nursing her sister
through the end stages of throat cancer, just as she had done for her dad a
few years before. And still she smokes. I just want to scream sometimes.
If you do, come here and scream, you know we'll hug you and hope it helps.
((((((((Leslie)))))))))

Sarah and Steve
Eight months, two weeks, three days, 19 hours, 40 minutes and 0 seconds.
6520 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,608.19. Life saved: 3 weeks, 1 day, 15
hours, 20 minutes.

I am an ER nurse and I see patients roll theit IV poles out
and have a smoke. If I was still a smoker I'd do the same,
so I'm not critical of them. I do go out and check on the
pump machines. The alarms go off. Ignored, the smokers just
want their fix. Some of the meds need to be given at a certain
rate. But when the fluids freeze in the tubeing I insist the
patient go inside, or sign out against medical advise.

Nurse jacks


"THISTime" <Nope@notonusenet.him> wrote in message
news:7bta831ed79pqnu83dicia18o3s85cjvji@4ax.com...
> Several years ago, my wife was in the SICU. What do I see but a new
> post-op Quad Bypass patient shuffling outside in the robe, pushing an
> IV Tree, still all hooked up to IV, into a smoking area.
>
> Shaking head.

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 15:11:03 -0700, Pam <PFaust@Fortune-Johnson.com>
wrote:

>BB - Thank God he is okay right now. Thank God your quit is secure. I
>know you want him to quit, I know you can't make him quit, I know you
>are probably at the end of your rope. You have done what you can. Give
>it up. Nagging will just make him dig his heels in deeper. Does he
>have a will? Make him.
>Hugs to you & him & son
>Pam

Thanks, Pam. I've nagged him very little. I know how pointless it
is. He knows I'd like him to quit. But last night, after the
emotional & physical rollercoaster of the past 18 hours, being tired
down to the marrow of my bones, it was all I could do to not explode
when he asked to stop at a gas station. I didn't say a word, except
to invite him out of the car to smoke. I don't know what he was
thinking when he got back in the car, pack and lighter in hand. He's
never smoked in my car and I wasn't about to let him last night. If
he had to stand outside, in a gas station parking lot, 10 minutes
after hospital discharge I wasn't about to do anything to make his
smoke convenient or comfortable.

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

"BessieBee" wrote
> ...he was suffering a massive heart attack.
> ...When released from the hospital after 5 days the first thing he did
> was light up. He's continued to smoke since...

> ...Thursday at 4:05AM he woke me up - "My chest kinda hurts. It just
> doesn't feel right." ...
>..."While you're getting dressed I'll be outside." The
> asshole was experiencing chest pains and was outfuckingside smoking!

[etc., etc., etc....]



I'm really sorry to read this. It's hard to believe.
One might think that a massive heart attack would be the wake up call *most*
people would heed...
Chest pain and a damn good scare was what it took for me, I can tell you.
We're all different, though. And no-- of course you can't make someone quit.

That having been said, I'm afraid I'm inclined to think... well, that he's a
complete, hard-headed, goddam idiot.
I'm sorry if that's harsh, or not touchy-feely, supportive enough, but Jesus
Christ...
What'll it take, do you suppose? He's selfish and in complete denial,
obviously.

Yes; be pissed, and keep trying to make him see reason, because you never
know what might wake him up-- but prepare yourself for the eventuality of
his refusal, too.

On Fri, 29 Jun 2007 17:35:30 -0500, "CuckooCat" <silly@laughing.net>
wrote:

>Buy some fancy clothes, wear more makeup than usual, smile for no reason.
>When he askes what's up, tell him you are practicing for all the dating you
>are going to do when he is gone.
>;-)
>
>(((((Leslie)))))
>
>big hugs,
>Cat

Unfortunately, if he saw me wearing fancy clothes and wearing makeup
he'd know I'd cracked. I've reached the completely selfish point of
my life where comfort and simplicity are paramount. I have a job
where I can wear jeans and haven't worn makeup since it started to
melt off my face when I lived in Florida.

Now, what I *can* do is whip out the credit card and start watching
hours of jewelry on QVC. I have nowhere near enough fingers for all
my rings and I'm beginning to appreciate bracelets. The more sparkle
the better. I'll just tell DH I'm finding another avenue for
pleasure. :-)

--
BessieBee

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
Steven Wright

Buy some fancy clothes, wear more makeup than usual, smile for no reason.
When he askes what's up, tell him you are practicing for all the dating you
are going to do when he is gone.
;-)

(((((Leslie)))))

big hugs,
Cat



"BessieBee" <BessieBee@I_dont_smoke_anymore.com> wrote in message
news:t9oa83luisf3i2jp0uuqv5f7f4qtq1tcps@4ax.com...
> On Feb. 1, 2007 I came home in the early evening to find my husband
> face down on the living room floor, writhing in pain. Long story
> short, he was suffering a massive heart attack. He spent almost a
> week in the hospital, most in whatever they call ICU these days, then
> a couple in the cardiac step-down unit. He had an angioplasty during
> which 2 stents were placed and it was discovered that sometime in the
> past he'd another a "silent heart attack." One of his cardiac
> arteries is completely shut down, the 2 stents opened up the blocked
> and almost blocked ones. We were told multiple times that the
> timeliness of getting him to the ER is what saved his life.
>
> He smoked about 1 pack a day. During this hospital stay he
> steadfastly refused to use a patch. Nobody was using that time to
> "suggest" he quit smoking, but the offer of the patch was simply to
> get him through the smokeless days lying in bed and to hopefully
> reduce any agitation from nicotine withdrawal. Nothing could be said
> that would convin