socializing with smokers!

i was just reading the posts here this morning and saw this:

" I do know since I got smober I rarely
socialize with smokers and that does help keep stray 'stinkin'
thinkin' thoughts at bay.".....................flatironmike

mike has pointed out a GREAT tool that is not discussed much here in this
forum and i believe it should be.

in the beginning of my many quits, i thought that EXCLUDING smokers from my
life was a stupid and unnecessary thing, little did i know that was JUNKIE
THINKING.


i slapped on a patch, took my wellbutrin/zyban and quit smoking! (1-1-97)
well, every time i sat with a smoker, i was haunted and distracted through
the whole visit by the ALLURE of that cigarette, being lit and sucked on by
whomever i was with. "coffee wasn't right without a butt" (JUNKIE
THINKING).................i was watching my weight after all, and "coffee
without a cigarette just wouldn't work!" (JUNKIE THINKING)

MOST of my associates at the time did smoke, and sitting in
restaurants/coffee shops with them was hell and usually ended up with me
"having just one" (JUNKIE THINKING)............................and we all
know how that ends up!
i am a retired AODA counselor now, but back then, besides private sessions,
i was running a group weekly, that included 10 women, and 9 of whom smoked.
after i quit smoking this last time, i announced that there would no longer
be smoking in my office and that we would take a break half way through, and
allow everyone to step outside to smoke if needed.

they looked at me in such shock! shocked that i had quit? shocked that i
would ask such a thing? i don't know, but then i made it even
worse........................................

i BEGGED them to deny me, if i started begging for a cigarette. they all
promised that they would.
i made it a routine to take a "potty break" while they were all smoking, and
when i came back, we would all go in and resume our work.

i had been quit for only a week, when this started and the smokers did NOT
smell badly to me, in fact, that smoke was still quite wonderful. (in a
JUNKIE sort of way)

there was no longer any smoking in my house, and in my large family, my
brother was the only smoker left.
he always went outside to smoke (no matter the weather) and still does to
this day.
no butts on the ground though....................bob always picks them up
and puts them in his pocket!
to smoke later!


there was no smoking in my car, and telling folks that, got easier and
easier as time went on.

i picked restaurants that didn't allow smoking.
i didn't go to bars anyway, so that wasn't to difficult!
i told EVERYONE that i met, about my quit, and asked for support in anyway
possible.


during those early months, my JUNKIE mind was telling me to "stop that
groveling" and just be strong!
stay quit, all by myself, i could do it, it would be a breeze, THIS TIME.
i was comparing myself to others and their quits, and it seemed easy for
them, so why not me!
this was all JUNKIE THINKING at its sneakiest and finest.
i found AS3 and during my daily visits here, i learned about JUNKIE
thinking, and how much this recovery was going to be just like my alcoholism
recovery. (8-26-82)
finding NON SMOKING recovery meetings at the time was a little harder, but i
managed to sit in the back of the room a lot until we broke up into a
non-smoking group.
now i go to meetings that are completely NON SMOKING and there are many of
them.
now the smokers are in the minority, and THEY go to a special room or
outside.

i don't remember when it started, but smokers REALLY DO SMELL
putrid....................THEY REALLY DO.
smokers smell even when they are not smoking.
it just oozes through their skin, and it makes my eyes water.
there is NO MORE DENYING that i smelled just like
that.........................NO MORE DENYING!

NO MORE DENYING that in those early days, sitting with smokers, was a
STUPID, TEMPTING, JUNKIE thing to do, and caused suffering and eventual
relapse EVERY TIME.

i know that there are those of you reading this, who believe, that the
protections i took were harsh and not necessary, but were they really? i
quit and did not stumble over relapses because of this action.

are you being kind and protective with yourself and your quit? do you know
that this is LIFE OR DEATH?
do you know that your JUNKIE THINKING has been winning the war of addiction
with you for along time, and just because you have quit, it is not stopping
its work? (time helps, but addiction is a constant)

ODAAT and READ AND POST DAILY, IT WORKS!

rosie

On Jan 8, 9:05*am, "readandpostrosie" <READANDPOS...@YAHOO.COM> wrote:
> i was just reading the posts here this morning and saw this:
>
> " I do know since I got smober I rarely
> socialize with smokers and that does help keep stray 'stinkin'
> thinkin' thoughts at bay.".....................flatironmike
>
> mike has pointed out a GREAT tool that is not discussed much here in this
> forum and i believe it should be.
>
> in the beginning *of my many quits, i thought that EXCLUDING smokers from my
> life was a stupid and unnecessary thing, little did i know that was JUNKIE
> THINKING.
>
> i slapped on a patch, took my wellbutrin/zyban and quit smoking! (1-1-97)
> well, every time i sat with a smoker, i was haunted and distracted through
> the whole visit by the ALLURE of that cigarette, being lit and sucked on by
> whomever i was with. "coffee wasn't right without a butt" (JUNKIE
> THINKING).................i was watching my weight after all, and "coffee
> without a cigarette just wouldn't work!" (JUNKIE THINKING)
>
> MOST of my associates at the time did smoke, and sitting in
> restaurants/coffee shops with them was hell and usually ended up with me
> "having just one" (JUNKIE THINKING)............................and we all
> know how that ends up!
> i am a retired AODA counselor now, but back then, besides private *sessions,
> i was running a group weekly, that included 10 women, and 9 of whom smoked..
> after i quit smoking this last time, i announced that there would no longer
> be smoking in my office and that we would take a break half way through, and
> allow everyone to step outside to smoke if needed.
>
> they looked at me in such shock! shocked that i had quit? shocked that i
> would ask such a thing? i don't know, but then i *made it even
> worse........................................
>
> i BEGGED them to deny me, if i started begging for a cigarette. they all
> promised that they would.
> i made it a routine to take a "potty break" while they were all smoking, and
> when i came back, we would all go in and resume our work.
>
> i had been quit for only a week, when this started and the smokers did NOT
> smell badly to me, in fact, that smoke was still quite wonderful. (in a
> JUNKIE sort of way)
>
> there was no longer any smoking in my house, and in my large family, my
> brother was the only smoker left.
> he always went outside to smoke (no matter the weather) and still does to
> this day.
> no butts on the ground though....................bob always picks them up
> and puts them in his pocket!
> to smoke later!
>
> there was no smoking in my car, and telling folks that, got easier and
> easier as time went on.
>
> i picked restaurants that didn't allow smoking.
> i didn't go to bars anyway, so that wasn't to difficult!
> i told EVERYONE that i met, about my quit, and asked for support in anyway
> possible.
>
> during those early months, my JUNKIE mind was telling me to "stop that
> groveling" and just be strong!
> stay quit, all by myself, i could do it, it would be a breeze, THIS TIME.
> i was comparing myself to others and their quits, and it seemed easy for
> them, so why not me!
> this was all JUNKIE THINKING at its sneakiest and finest.
> i found AS3 and during my daily visits here, i learned about JUNKIE
> thinking, and how much this recovery was going to be just like my alcoholism
> recovery. (8-26-82)
> finding NON SMOKING recovery meetings at the time was a little harder, buti
> managed to sit in the back of the room a lot until we broke up into a
> non-smoking group.
> now i go to meetings that are completely NON SMOKING and there are many of
> them.
> now the smokers are in the minority, and THEY go to a special room or
> outside.
>
> i don't remember when it started, but smokers REALLY DO SMELL
> putrid....................THEY REALLY DO.
> smokers smell even when they are not smoking.
> it just oozes through their skin, and it makes my eyes water.
> there is NO MORE DENYING that i smelled just like
> that.........................NO MORE DENYING!
>
> NO MORE DENYING that in those early days, sitting with smokers, was a
> STUPID, TEMPTING, JUNKIE thing to do, and caused suffering and eventual
> relapse EVERY TIME.
>
> i know that there are those of you reading this, who believe, that the
> protections i took were harsh and not necessary, but were they really? *i
> quit and did not stumble over relapses because of this action.
>
> are you being kind and protective with yourself and your quit? *do you know
> that this is LIFE OR DEATH?
> do you know that your JUNKIE THINKING has been winning the war of addiction
> with you for along *time, and just because you have quit, it is not stopping
> its work? *(time helps, but addiction is a constant)
>
> ODAAT and READ AND POST DAILY, IT WORKS!
>
> rosie

Well it's a deadly activity and as soon as you can break free, it only
makes sense to continue avoiding death.
I knew I was killing myself and I couldn't stop, but I tried to avoid
subjecting others to it.
Now that I'm free from the addiction, I don't subject myself to it
either.

Thank you R&P Rosie! I think this is the longest post I have ever
read you write in all the years I've been around here. But, your
point is very to the point and wise. Yes, I do have friends, close
buddies who do smoke. I just find I have to totally disengage that
they are doing it while they are, otherwise I expect I could easily
find an excuse to have just one. Being vigilent is very much part of
getting smober but as you write, learning where your personal junkie
thinking is and how to overcome it is the best tool to keep on keeping
on. I have totally looked at my quit this time as a One Day at a Time
event. Sure, I am very close now to 11 months and I know the tubs are
close, but right now I only worry about today. I love seeing my meter
grow but I know that it can only grow ODAAT and keeping it that way
and simple has made this the best quit I have ever had.

FlatironMike
Ten months, four weeks, 19 hours, 34 minutes and 44 seconds. 6636
cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,990.89. Life saved: 3 weeks, 2 days,
1 hour, 0 minutes.

Thanks Rosie. To me, it's kind of like "surrendering to win". I freely
admit that smoking and tobacco is more powerful when I fight it on its
terms. So you know what? I just refuse to play the tobacco game. I am
building my life around people and places who do not smoke.

ConcordPhil
I have not smoked in 6M 5h 30m. That's 184 days! I have not used any
nicotine at all since 9/03/2007.



readandpostrosie wrote:
> i was just reading the posts here this morning and saw this:
>
> " I do know since I got smober I rarely
> socialize with smokers and that does help keep stray 'stinkin'
> thinkin' thoughts at bay.".....................flatironmike
>
> mike has pointed out a GREAT tool that is not discussed much here in this
> forum and i believe it should be.
>
> in the beginning of my many quits, i thought that EXCLUDING smokers from my
> life was a stupid and unnecessary thing, little did i know that was JUNKIE
> THINKING.
>
>
> i slapped on a patch, took my wellbutrin/zyban and quit smoking! (1-1-97)
> well, every time i sat with a smoker, i was haunted and distracted through
> the whole visit by the ALLURE of that cigarette, being lit and sucked on by
> whomever i was with. "coffee wasn't right without a butt" (JUNKIE
> THINKING).................i was watching my weight after all, and "coffee
> without a cigarette just wouldn't work!" (JUNKIE THINKING)
>
> MOST of my associates at the time did smoke, and sitting in
> restaurants/coffee shops with them was hell and usually ended up with me
> "having just one" (JUNKIE THINKING)............................and we all
> know how that ends up!
> i am a retired AODA counselor now, but back then, besides private sessions,
> i was running a group weekly, that included 10 women, and 9 of whom smoked.
> after i quit smoking this last time, i announced that there would no longer
> be smoking in my office and that we would take a break half way through, and
> allow everyone to step outside to smoke if needed.
>
> they looked at me in such shock! shocked that i had quit? shocked that i
> would ask such a thing? i don't know, but then i made it even
> worse........................................
>
> i BEGGED them to deny me, if i started begging for a cigarette. they all
> promised that they would.
> i made it a routine to take a "potty break" while they were all smoking, and
> when i came back, we would all go in and resume our work.
>
> i had been quit for only a week, when this started and the smokers did NOT
> smell badly to me, in fact, that smoke was still quite wonderful. (in a
> JUNKIE sort of way)
>
> there was no longer any smoking in my house, and in my large family, my
> brother was the only smoker left.
> he always went outside to smoke (no matter the weather) and still does to
> this day.
> no butts on the ground though....................bob always picks them up
> and puts them in his pocket!
> to smoke later!
>
>
> there was no smoking in my car, and telling folks that, got easier and
> easier as time went on.
>
> i picked restaurants that didn't allow smoking.
> i didn't go to bars anyway, so that wasn't to difficult!
> i told EVERYONE that i met, about my quit, and asked for support in anyway
> possible.
>
>
> during those early months, my JUNKIE mind was telling me to "stop that
> groveling" and just be strong!
> stay quit, all by myself, i could do it, it would be a breeze, THIS TIME.
> i was comparing myself to others and their quits, and it seemed easy for
> them, so why not me!
> this was all JUNKIE THINKING at its sneakiest and finest.
> i found AS3 and during my daily visits here, i learned about JUNKIE
> thinking, and how much this recovery was going to be just like my alcoholism
> recovery. (8-26-82)
> finding NON SMOKING recovery meetings at the time was a little harder, but i
> managed to sit in the back of the room a lot until we broke up into a
> non-smoking group.
> now i go to meetings that are completely NON SMOKING and there are many of
> them.
> now the smokers are in the minority, and THEY go to a special room or
> outside.
>
> i don't remember when it started, but smokers REALLY DO SMELL
> putrid....................THEY REALLY DO.
> smokers smell even when they are not smoking.
> it just oozes through their skin, and it makes my eyes water.
> there is NO MORE DENYING that i smelled just like
> that.........................NO MORE DENYING!
>
> NO MORE DENYING that in those early days, sitting with smokers, was a
> STUPID, TEMPTING, JUNKIE thing to do, and caused suffering and eventual
> relapse EVERY TIME.
>
> i know that there are those of you reading this, who believe, that the
> protections i took were harsh and not necessary, but were they really? i
> quit and did not stumble over relapses because of this action.
>
> are you being kind and protective with yourself and your quit? do you know
> that this is LIFE OR DEATH?
> do you know that your JUNKIE THINKING has been winning the war of addiction
> with you for along time, and just because you have quit, it is not stopping
> its work? (time helps, but addiction is a constant)
>
> ODAAT and READ AND POST DAILY, IT WORKS!
>
> rosie
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

On Jan 8, 9:05*am, "readandpostrosie" <READANDPOS...@YAHOO.COM> wrote:
> i was just reading the posts here this morning and saw this:
>
> " I do know since I got smober I rarely
> socialize with smokers and that does help keep stray 'stinkin'
> thinkin' thoughts at bay.".....................flatironmike
>
> mike has pointed out a GREAT tool that is not discussed much here in this
> forum and i believe it should be.
>
> in the beginning *of my many quits, i thought that EXCLUDING smokers from my
> life was a stupid and unnecessary thing, little did i know that was JUNKIE
> THINKING.
>
> i slapped on a patch, took my wellbutrin/zyban and quit smoking! (1-1-97)
> well, every time i sat with a smoker, i was haunted and distracted through
> the whole visit by the ALLURE of that cigarette, being lit and sucked on by
> whomever i was with. "coffee wasn't right without a butt" (JUNKIE
> THINKING).................i was watching my weight after all, and "coffee
> without a cigarette just wouldn't work!" (JUNKIE THINKING)
>
> MOST of my associates at the time did smoke, and sitting in
> restaurants/coffee shops with them was hell and usually ended up with me
> "having just one" (JUNKIE THINKING)............................and we all
> know how that ends up!
> i am a retired AODA counselor now, but back then, besides private *sessions,
> i was running a group weekly, that included 10 women, and 9 of whom smoked..
> after i quit smoking this last time, i announced that there would no longer
> be smoking in my office and that we would take a break half way through, and
> allow everyone to step outside to smoke if needed.
>
> they looked at me in such shock! shocked that i had quit? shocked that i
> would ask such a thing? i don't know, but then i *made it even
> worse........................................
>
> i BEGGED them to deny me, if i started begging for a cigarette. they all
> promised that they would.
> i made it a routine to take a "potty break" while they were all smoking, and
> when i came back, we would all go in and resume our work.
>
> i had been quit for only a week, when this started and the smokers did NOT
> smell badly to me, in fact, that smoke was still quite wonderful. (in a
> JUNKIE sort of way)
>
> there was no longer any smoking in my house, and in my large family, my
> brother was the only smoker left.
> he always went outside to smoke (no matter the weather) and still does to
> this day.
> no butts on the ground though....................bob always picks them up
> and puts them in his pocket!
> to smoke later!
>
> there was no smoking in my car, and telling folks that, got easier and
> easier as time went on.
>
> i picked restaurants that didn't allow smoking.
> i didn't go to bars anyway, so that wasn't to difficult!
> i told EVERYONE that i met, about my quit, and asked for support in anyway
> possible.
>
> during those early months, my JUNKIE mind was telling me to "stop that
> groveling" and just be strong!
> stay quit, all by myself, i could do it, it would be a breeze, THIS TIME.
> i was comparing myself to others and their quits, and it seemed easy for
> them, so why not me!
> this was all JUNKIE THINKING at its sneakiest and finest.
> i found AS3 and during my daily visits here, i learned about JUNKIE
> thinking, and how much this recovery was going to be just like my alcoholism
> recovery. (8-26-82)
> finding NON SMOKING recovery meetings at the time was a little harder, buti
> managed to sit in the back of the room a lot until we broke up into a
> non-smoking group.
> now i go to meetings that are completely NON SMOKING and there are many of
> them.
> now the smokers are in the minority, and THEY go to a special room or
> outside.
>
> i don't remember when it started, but smokers REALLY DO SMELL
> putrid....................THEY REALLY DO.
> smokers smell even when they are not smoking.
> it just oozes through their skin, and it makes my eyes water.
> there is NO MORE DENYING that i smelled just like
> that.........................NO MORE DENYING!
>
> NO MORE DENYING that in those early days, sitting with smokers, was a
> STUPID, TEMPTING, JUNKIE thing to do, and caused suffering and eventual
> relapse EVERY TIME.
>
> i know that there are those of you reading this, who believe, that the
> protections i took were harsh and not necessary, but were they really? *i
> quit and did not stumble over relapses because of this action.
>
> are you being kind and protective with yourself and your quit? *do you know
> that this is LIFE OR DEATH?
> do you know that your JUNKIE THINKING has been winning the war of addiction
> with you for along *time, and just because you have quit, it is not stopping
> its work? *(time helps, but addiction is a constant)
>
> ODAAT and READ AND POST DAILY, IT WORKS!
>
> rosie

This is one of the best posts I've read. I just had to respond,
because I think what Rosie says here is so important. A couple of my
worst moments...the moments I was close to slipping, or the moments I
was very tempted, came from the times I was with my "smoking buddies"
after I had quit smoking (now, EX smoking buddies). I had to make the
decision that I just could not put myself in that predicament
anymore. And, also, I have been lucky enough to have not been asked
to go with them lately. They know. The last time I went, I practally
attacked my poor smoking buddy...I could have jumped him trying to
steal his cigarette...those were the insane thoughts in my head. I
was so relieved that I made it out of there without smoking. I'm not
putting myself in any more risky situations. I will remain vigilant.
I am staying away from smokers. Why? Because...I am not a smoker. I
am a non-smoker. Non-smokers do not go out with their smoking buddies
to hang out. They wait until they return to visit. It is a harsh
stance, but, it is one I ultimately had to come to. Very wise advice
by Rosie!!! Should be mandatory reading!!!

PreciousKittykat =^..^=
Four months, four weeks, two days, 1 hour, 59 minutes and 14 seconds.
3041 cigarettes not smoked, saving $912.75. Life saved: 1 week, 3
days, 13 hours, 25 minutes.

I'm with ya' Rosie! I used to hang around my friends while they smoked
and sniff the smoke like it was "good" (Junkie Thinking). And I always
failed before. This time around, I avoided all the places where people
smoke as much as possible. I didn't go out and sit with friends while
they smoked. I found something else to do. I told everyone I know that
I had quit and asked for their support. They were all very respectful,
and they avoided smoking around me as much as they possibly could. Now
the thought of a cigarette is pretty much disgusting most of the time.

Cindy
Smobriety comes to: 1Y 0M 0W 2D 10H 44Mns $-Saved to date: $1451.30


readandpostrosie wrote:

> i was just reading the posts here this morning and saw this:
>
> " I do know since I got smober I rarely
> socialize with smokers and that does help keep stray 'stinkin'
> thinkin' thoughts at bay.".....................flatironmike
>
> mike has pointed out a GREAT tool that is not discussed much here in this
> forum and i believe it should be.
>
> in the beginning of my many quits, i thought that EXCLUDING smokers from my
> life was a stupid and unnecessary thing, little did i know that was JUNKIE
> THINKING.
>
>
> i slapped on a patch, took my wellbutrin/zyban and quit smoking! (1-1-97)
> well, every time i sat with a smoker, i was haunted and distracted through
> the whole visit by the ALLURE of that cigarette, being lit and sucked on by
> whomever i was with. "coffee wasn't right without a butt" (JUNKIE
> THINKING).................i was watching my weight after all, and "coffee
> without a cigarette just wouldn't work!" (JUNKIE THINKING)
>
> MOST of my associates at the time did smoke, and sitting in
> restaurants/coffee shops with them was hell and usually ended up with me
> "having just one" (JUNKIE THINKING)............................and we all
> know how that ends up!
> i am a retired AODA counselor now, but back then, besides private sessions,
> i was running a group weekly, that included 10 women, and 9 of whom smoked.
> after i quit smoking this last time, i announced that there would no longer
> be smoking in my office and that we would take a break half way through, and
> allow everyone to step outside to smoke if needed.
>
> they looked at me in such shock! shocked that i had quit? shocked that i
> would ask such a thing? i don't know, but then i made it even
> worse........................................
>
> i BEGGED them to deny me, if i started begging for a cigarette. they all
> promised that they would.
> i made it a routine to take a "potty break" while they were all smoking, and
> when i came back, we would all go in and resume our work.
>
> i had been quit for only a week, when this started and the smokers did NOT
> smell badly to me, in fact, that smoke was still quite wonderful. (in a
> JUNKIE sort of way)
>
> there was no longer any smoking in my house, and in my large family, my
> brother was the only smoker left.
> he always went outside to smoke (no matter the weather) and still does to
> this day.
> no butts on the ground though....................bob always picks them up
> and puts them in his pocket!
> to smoke later!
>
>
> there was no smoking in my car, and telling folks that, got easier and
> easier as time went on.
>
> i picked restaurants that didn't allow smoking.
> i didn't go to bars anyway, so that wasn't to difficult!
> i told EVERYONE that i met, about my quit, and asked for support in anyway
> possible.
>
>
> during those early months, my JUNKIE mind was telling me to "stop that
> groveling" and just be strong!
> stay quit, all by myself, i could do it, it would be a breeze, THIS TIME.
> i was comparing myself to others and their quits, and it seemed easy for
> them, so why not me!
> this was all JUNKIE THINKING at its sneakiest and finest.
> i found AS3 and during my daily visits here, i learned about JUNKIE
> thinking, and how much this recovery was going to be just like my alcoholism
> recovery. (8-26-82)
> finding NON SMOKING recovery meetings at the time was a little harder, but i
> managed to sit in the back of the room a lot until we broke up into a
> non-smoking group.
> now i go to meetings that are completely NON SMOKING and there are many of
> them.
> now the smokers are in the minority, and THEY go to a special room or
> outside.
>
> i don't remember when it started, but smokers REALLY DO SMELL
> putrid....................THEY REALLY DO.
> smokers smell even when they are not smoking.
> it just oozes through their skin, and it makes my eyes water.
> there is NO MORE DENYING that i smelled just like
> that.........................NO MORE DENYING!
>
> NO MORE DENYING that in those early days, sitting with smokers, was a
> STUPID, TEMPTING, JUNKIE thing to do, and caused suffering and eventual
> relapse EVERY TIME.
>
> i know that there are those of you reading this, who believe, that the
> protections i took were harsh and not necessary, but were they really? i
> quit and did not stumble over relapses because of this action.
>
> are you being kind and protective with yourself and your quit? do you know
> that this is LIFE OR DEATH?
> do you know that your JUNKIE THINKING has been winning the war of addiction
> with you for along time, and just because you have quit, it is not stopping
> its work? (time helps, but addiction is a constant)
>
> ODAAT and READ AND POST DAILY, IT WORKS!
>
> rosie
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>