You're never alone when you've got 20 Buddies in a pack!

Inspired by the "musings of the battle" post, of 7/26/00, in which Holly
wrote):"...I'm depressed...but my friendly little cigarettes will help me
feel better, they're my faithful little comforts... my tried and true
friends...yes, that's what I'll do. I'll just go buy myself a nice pack of
20 buddies..."



MEET THE 20 BUDDIES:
They're here for you, each with his own, unique contribution to your
life.....

1. "Hi! I'm the buddy who stains your teeth!"


2. "Hey there! I'm the one who drops hot sparks on your lap and burns
holes in your pants!"


3. "Hello; I'll make your curtains beige, instead of white, and gunk up
your windows."


4. "Greetings! How'd you like your breath to smell like homemade shit...?"


5. "Howdy! I'd like to work my rancid, smoky odor into all your furniture,
rugs, drapes and clothes..."


6. "Hi; remember me? I'm the one who sticks to your lip, and when you go
to remove me from your mouth, your fingers slide down to the tip and grab
the glowing ember and you get scorched? Yeah! How ya been?"


7. "Yo! I'm the one whose lit embers blow back into your rear seat while
you're driving and set the car's upholstery on fire."


8. "He.... HACK! HACK! HACK! Hel... HACK! HACK!...HAWK! PTOOOEY! Hello,
there!"


9. "Hey! I'm the one your kid sneaked out of the pack to take out to the
woods with his pals. Sad; you never even missed me..."


10. "Good evening. I'm the last one in the pack; the one that makes you
walk thru the rain or snow to the convenience store so you won't be stuck
with no smokes in the morning."


11. "Yoohooo! Over here! Want a chronic cough? How about emphysema?"


12. "Hello. I'm the one you don't really think about, but reach for
automatically when the phone rings, or you turn the key in the car's
ignition."


13. "Hi! I'm the one you suck down in about 27 seconds, just before you
rush back inside from your work break."


14. "Hey, sweetheart! I'm the one you really wanted, but had to crush out
and leave behind because of something that came up someplace else where you
CAN'T smoke."


15. "Hi! I'm going to bring you chest pains and a 4:00AM ride to the
emergency room, because you just might be having a coronary. No--I was just
kidding you! HAHAHA! (Where's your sense of humor?)"


16. Hello. I'm going to constrict your circulation and make it tough to
sustain an erection. You're very welcome..."


17. "What's up, man? I'm the one you cup in your hand, shielding me
against the wind while you try and light about 17 matches before the damn
bus comes, and you fumble around and get so pissed off you snap me in two
and can't smoke me anyway, you chump...."


18. "Hey, pal! You left me burning in the ashtray and I rolled off and
screwed up your nice new desk. Heeheehee...."


19. " Hello. I'm going to be the one that finally provokes that first
heart attack. Made a will yet?"


20. " Remember the one about the straw and the camel's back? I'm the one
who pushes your system that final little bit too far, and makes that
marginal batch of cells metastasize. I'm the one who's going to give you
cancer...and you just can't be sure which one in which pack I am... can
you?"



from www.quitbuddies.org




--
Lynn VOF Leaper