Cohen - Please help - Fifi is Homosexual

I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
affected plus he whines a lot.
Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a blue ball
and he always chooses pink
Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is twice the
size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi goes
near him.

I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to be
shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.

Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all - in fact
some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my self
esteem and my image as a macho person

Thanks very much
Woof

"David" <> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem
to be
> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>

I had an old uncle who had a gay dog that would hump his leg. Uncle claimed
that the dog was dancing, and he would tap his foot to imaginary music as
the dog humped his leg. We would leave whenever this would happen, and I was
grateful for the dog as it gave us an excuse to leave early.

I suggest you name the dog CURT and think of your dog as a gay bodybuilder.
The fact that Fifi scares bigger dogs is a good sign. Your dog is a rabid
queer and the other dogs know they will get their balls bit off if they
cross Fifi/Curt. In many ways it seems as if Curt is the true father of your
dog and you may want to arrange for Curt to adopt the dog and pay to ship it
to Curt.

In order to avoid gay dogs, I have developed a test which I use when I go to
the dog pound to check out prospective pets. I will ask the attendant to
take out the dog and I will pet the dog and put my leg out by the dog. If I
see any gayness or a gay look in the dog's face then I reject the dog. It is
not easy to pick a totally 100% non-gay dog who is easy to domesticate.
Another hint is to kick the dog and see if it growls. A gay dog will not
growl.

"Ted Sherman" <tedsherman103983@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:dR_aj.26567$vt2.4521@bignews8.bellsouth.net.. .
> "David" <> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we
> seem
> to be
>> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>>
>
> I had an old uncle who had a gay dog that would hump his leg. Uncle
> claimed
> that the dog was dancing, and he would tap his foot to imaginary music as
> the dog humped his leg. We would leave whenever this would happen, and I
> was
> grateful for the dog as it gave us an excuse to leave early.
>
> I suggest you name the dog CURT and think of your dog as a gay
> bodybuilder.
> The fact that Fifi scares bigger dogs is a good sign. Your dog is a rabid
> queer and the other dogs know they will get their balls bit off if they
> cross Fifi/Curt. In many ways it seems as if Curt is the true father of
> your
> dog and you may want to arrange for Curt to adopt the dog and pay to ship
> it
> to Curt.
>
> In order to avoid gay dogs, I have developed a test which I use when I go
> to
> the dog pound to check out prospective pets. I will ask the attendant to
> take out the dog and I will pet the dog and put my leg out by the dog. If
> I
> see any gayness or a gay look in the dog's face then I reject the dog. It
> is
> not easy to pick a totally 100% non-gay dog who is easy to domesticate.
> Another hint is to kick the dog and see if it growls. A gay dog will not
> growl.

Ted, I thank you for your help on this.
Your old uncle had the right idea obviously. Did he seem to enjoy the
humping experience himself?
Yes about calling the dog Curt, if only I had thought of it! Somehow I dont
think Curt will own up to the paternal thing -
Never knew about the growl thing - Fifi never growls he just kind of
whimpers and his paw goes limp when I tickle his balls.
Thanks for the tips . . knowledge is power!

"David" <> Your old uncle had the right idea obviously. Did he seem to enjoy
the
> humping experience himself?>

He seemed to tap his foot faster as the dog started going faster. After the
first time we saw this going on we basically said a fast goodbye and left
his house like bats out of hell. After that we would bail out as soon as the
dog got near his leg. It was weird and creepy on another level. Nobody would
talk about that uncle in a bad way. When he died he seemed to achieve a
level of saint-hood that is reserved for those weird family members that
people do not want to discuss except to say he was SO NICE, etc.

Except for the weird dog thing, he was a very nice and harmless old guy. He
always said nice things. Maybe the dog was the key. Maybe a gay dog is a
good thing.

"David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
> affected *plus he whines a lot.
> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a blue ball
> and he always chooses pink
> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is twice the
> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi goes
> near him.
>
> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to be
> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>
> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all - in fact
> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my self
> esteem and my image as a macho person

Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
the dog psychological problems.

David

"David Cohen" <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:84de5c33-b2d6-4cf1-b7bd-ca5455fd32df@i29g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
"David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
> affected plus he whines a lot.
> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a blue
> ball
> and he always chooses pink
> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is twice
> the
> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi goes
> near him.
>
> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to be
> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>
> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all - in
> fact
> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my self
> esteem and my image as a macho person

Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
the dog psychological problems.
------------------------------------------

(above is Cohen's constructive advice)

While I appreciate your valuable advice, I resent that you suggest I have
been intimate with kangaroos. You are spreading a malicious rumour. While I
am contemplating your advice, I want you to contemplate this. I own a gay
dog. A GAY dog for heavens sake!! Know what I plan to do about it? And you
will be partly responsible for this. I plan to put Fifi down. Yes, I plan to
put this little faggot down. I have made my decision and don't anyone try to
talk me out of it. When I am determined nothing will stop me. I am putting
him down next chance I get. You know these little dogs get very heavy after
a while and I've been carrying him around for an hour now. (He hurt his pee
pee while trying to pork a knot hole in his dog house. )

"David" <I plan to put Fifi down. Yes, I plan to put this little faggot
down. I have made my decision and don't anyone try to talk me out of it. >
>

Good move.

On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 22:21:35 -0800 (PST), David Cohen
<sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:

> "David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
>> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
>> affected *plus he whines a lot.
>> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a blue ball
>> and he always chooses pink
>> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is twice the
>> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi goes
>> near him.
>>
>> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to be
>> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>>
>> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all - in fact
>> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my self
>> esteem and my image as a macho person
>
>Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
>the dog psychological problems.
>
>David

Indeed. Could even the famed Pet Whisperer deal with that?

--
Is this thing on?

In article <8750n3dfb1gqmh4dn0if06jgqras6ttqt7@4ax.com>,
Joe Humble <jhumble@rr.com> wrote:

> On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 22:21:35 -0800 (PST), David Cohen
> <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > "David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> >> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
> >> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
> >> affected *plus he whines a lot.
> >> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a blue
> >> ball
> >> and he always chooses pink
> >> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is twice
> >> the
> >> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi goes
> >> near him.
> >>
> >> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to be
> >> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
> >>
> >> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all - in
> >> fact
> >> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my self
> >> esteem and my image as a macho person
> >
> >Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
> >the dog psychological problems.
> >
> >David
>
> Indeed. Could even the famed Pet Whisperer deal with that?
>
> --
> Is this thing on?

I noted that D. Cohen actually ignored this this time. ;-)

David of Oz needs to come up with new material if he really wants to
keep our interest.
--
Peace, Om

Remove - (dash) to validate gmail.

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down." -- Steve Rothstein

"Omelet" <> I noted that D. Cohen actually ignored this this time. ;-)
>
>

He is working on Hanson's cardiac hole and there is also Spodosaurus who
takes the evening shift here. Nurse Cohen may have passed it to Medical
Researcher Spod.

"Omelet" <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote in message
newsmp_omelet-4A276A.14501624122007@news.giganews.com...
> In article <8750n3dfb1gqmh4dn0if06jgqras6ttqt7@4ax.com>,
> Joe Humble <jhumble@rr.com> wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 22:21:35 -0800 (PST), David Cohen
>> <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > "David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>> >> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
>> >> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
>> >> affected plus he whines a lot.
>> >> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a blue
>> >> ball
>> >> and he always chooses pink
>> >> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is
>> >> twice
>> >> the
>> >> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi
>> >> goes
>> >> near him.
>> >>
>> >> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to
>> >> be
>> >> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>> >>
>> >> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all - in
>> >> fact
>> >> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my
>> >> self
>> >> esteem and my image as a macho person
>> >
>> >Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
>> >the dog psychological problems.
>> >
>> >David
>>
>> Indeed. Could even the famed Pet Whisperer deal with that?
>>
>> --
>> Is this thing on?
>
> I noted that D. Cohen actually ignored this this time. ;-)
>
> David of Oz needs to come up with new material if he really wants to
> keep our interest.

Ha ha! Om, Cohen has NEVER ignored me. He knows better than to do that! - as
you see by his response above, he diagnosed my faggot dog as having
psychological problems from watching me making love to animals. However, as
you have highlighted, it is time for a change in material. That is my New
Years resolution. So on Jan 2nd you can look forward to entertainment on a
totally different level. My team is working on this right now!

> --
> Peace, Om
>
> Remove - (dash) to validate gmail.
>
> "Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their
> foot down." -- Steve Rothstein

"David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote
> "Omelet" <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote
>> Joe Humble <jhumble@rr.com> wrote:
>>> David Cohen <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> > "David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>>> >> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
>>> >> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
>>> >> affected plus he whines a lot.
>>> >> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a
>>> >> blue
>>> >> ball
>>> >> and he always chooses pink
>>> >> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is
>>> >> twice
>>> >> the
>>> >> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi
>>> >> goes
>>> >> near him.
>>> >>
>>> >> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to
>>> >> be
>>> >> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>>> >>
>>> >> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all -
>>> >> in
>>> >> fact
>>> >> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my
>>> >> self
>>> >> esteem and my image as a macho person
>>> >
>>> >Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
>>> >the dog psychological problems.

>>> Indeed. Could even the famed Pet Whisperer deal with that?
>>
>> I noted that D. Cohen actually ignored this this time. ;-)
>>
>> David of Oz needs to come up with new material if he really wants to
>> keep our interest.
>
> Ha ha! Om, Cohen has NEVER ignored me.

very fucken funny

"David Cohen" <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:fkpkc4$29g$1@registered.motzarella.org...
> "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote
>> "Omelet" <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote
>>> Joe Humble <jhumble@rr.com> wrote:
>>>> David Cohen <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> > "David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>>>> >> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
>>>> >> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is
>>>> >> definitely
>>>> >> affected plus he whines a lot.
>>>> >> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a
>>>> >> blue
>>>> >> ball
>>>> >> and he always chooses pink
>>>> >> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is
>>>> >> twice
>>>> >> the
>>>> >> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi
>>>> >> goes
>>>> >> near him.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to
>>>> >> be
>>>> >> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all -
>>>> >> in
>>>> >> fact
>>>> >> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting
>>>> >> my self
>>>> >> esteem and my image as a macho person
>>>> >
>>>> >Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
>>>> >the dog psychological problems.
>
>>>> Indeed. Could even the famed Pet Whisperer deal with that?
>>>
>>> I noted that D. Cohen actually ignored this this time. ;-)
>>>
>>> David of Oz needs to come up with new material if he really wants to
>>> keep our interest.
>>
>> Ha ha! Om, Cohen has NEVER ignored me.
>
>
>
>

In article <fkpkc4$29g$1@registered.motzarella.org>,
"David Cohen" <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:

> "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote
> > "Omelet" <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote
> >> Joe Humble <jhumble@rr.com> wrote:
> >>> David Cohen <sammiesdad@gmail.com> wrote:
> >>> > "David" <forgot...@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> >>> >> I am certain this is so and it is very distressing.
> >>> >> First thing we noticed is that be barks with a lisp. It is definitely
> >>> >> affected plus he whines a lot.
> >>> >> Second he seems to prefer pink colours - he has a pink ball and a
> >>> >> blue
> >>> >> ball
> >>> >> and he always chooses pink
> >>> >> Third he tries to pork the cattle dog down the street. That dog is
> >>> >> twice
> >>> >> the
> >>> >> size of Fifi yet he takes off like a bat out of hell every time Fifi
> >>> >> goes
> >>> >> near him.
> >>> >>
> >>> >> I feel very uncomfortable having a gay dog as a pet. Also we seem to
> >>> >> be
> >>> >> shunned by the neighbours and don't get invited to parties any more.
> >>> >>
> >>> >> Is there something that can be done? I am not a gay basher at all -
> >>> >> in
> >>> >> fact
> >>> >> some of my best friends are gay.But to have a gay dog is affecting my
> >>> >> self
> >>> >> esteem and my image as a macho person
> >>> >
> >>> >Stop letting Fifi watch you fuck the sheep and the 'roos. It's causing
> >>> >the dog psychological problems.
>
> >>> Indeed. Could even the famed Pet Whisperer deal with that?
> >>
> >> I noted that D. Cohen actually ignored this this time. ;-)
> >>
> >> David of Oz needs to come up with new material if he really wants to
> >> keep our interest.
> >
> > Ha ha! Om, Cohen has NEVER ignored me.

Ah. Missed it.

So sorry. ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove - (dash) to validate gmail.

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down." -- Steve Rothstein