May Humour Awards nominations

Jason Earl for

"They have winter in South America. It just happens during the night
time or something..."

That struck me as bigtime funny.

Or I misunderstood him.

--
Curt

Will Brink nominated per Om:

Richard: "OK now I'm going to sign up with NRA and I don't even own a
gun."

Will: "Assumin your are not being sarcastic,"

Richard: "No I'm not being saracastic."

Will: "Just checking, this is MFW after all :-)"

/nomination

Or was that a dual nomination for the exchange?

--

In article <1179070079.126882.26840@e65g2000hsc.googlegroups. com>,
Curt <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

> Will Brink nominated per Om:
>
> Richard: "OK now I'm going to sign up with NRA and I don't even own a
> gun."
>
> Will: "Assumin your are not being sarcastic,"
>
> Richard: "No I'm not being saracastic."
>
> Will: "Just checking, this is MFW after all :-)"
>
> /nomination
>
> Or was that a dual nomination for the exchange?
>
> --

I think stuff like that is a joint effort, but the statement by Will was
a classic imho. ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Richard for:

"Let's just color you a blue rectangular tin can, with a picture of
minced ham on the side."

--

In article <1179077659.882968.234400@h2g2000hsg.googlegroups. com>,
Curt <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

> Richard for:
>
> "Let's just color you a blue rectangular tin can, with a picture of
> minced ham on the side."
>
> --

I missed that one...

Guess I gotta hit Google Groups!
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Pete for:

> Taking testosterone results in damage
> to the body and possible job loss.
>
> Its like a ride with the Devil.

Hooooooooo!

(wipes tears from eyes)

--

I'm nominating everything Lucas Buck writes for the bronze, silver,
gold medals and the honorable mention. Please see the "Is Dally an
athlete?" thread for examples.

STEP IT UP, PEOPLE! STEP IT UP! BUCK'S DRIVING A HUMOUR HUMVEE AND
IT'S BARRELING DOWN ON ~*YOU*~!!!!!

--

Tom Anderson nominated for his response to Stephan Carydakis' test
post:

Carydakis: "???"

TA's reply: "Test passed - your question-mark key is fully
operational!" /nom

Buck vs. Anderson looks like it will be a lot more exciting than De La
Hoya vs. Mayweather.

--

Lucas Buck nominated for his comment re
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...07/05/17/nhair...

"Great. Just what I want -- a body full of mouse hair." /nom

And Richard and David Cohen for their follow-up comments in that same
thread: http://groups.google.com/group/misc....fed89e20c9f6fd

--
Curt

Pete for his part in the following exchange:

Robert Schuh:
FUCK OFF SPAMMER!!

David:
Just a question Rob - why are you against spamming? The world turns by
buyers and sellers - if someone feels they have a worthwhile product
to sell - someone else might agree with them and wish to purchase that
product - what's wrong with that?

Pete:
FUCK OFF AUSIE !!!

--

I scribbled:
[...]

> Buck vs. Anderson looks like
> it will be a lot more exciting
> than De La Hoya vs. Mayweather.

Anderson with an uppercut!

"Because you're already reading mfw, FINEST INFORMATION SOURCE IN THE
GALAXY."

Oh, yes, THAT imo is absolutely nom worthy!

--
Curt

I'm counting Robert Schuh's "LOL!!" as a nomination of sorts for
Pete's truly humorous comment:

"WHEN SOMEONE IS CALLING ME AT 7PM, WHILE I AM EATING A STEAK, TO SELL
ME
FISH OIL CAPSULES, IT RAISES MY BLOOD PRESSURE !!!

So, indirectly, the fish oil gave me high blood pressure ;-O"

--

geek_girl for

"I SOMETIMES SOOPARSET MILITARY PRESSES & CHINS WHEN I AM SHORT ON
TIME
AND I AM HYOOGE

QED" /nom

Poetry.

--

On May 15, 5:41 pm, Curt <curtja...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I'm nominating everything Lucas Buck writes for the bronze, silver,
> gold medals and the honorable mention. Please see the "Is Dally an
> athlete?" thread for examples.
>
> STEP IT UP, PEOPLE! STEP IT UP! BUCK'S DRIVING A HUMOUR HUMVEE AND
> IT'S BARRELING DOWN ON ~*YOU*~!!!!!
>
> --

I nominate you for trying to mine gold from dribble.

You are truly "King of the Hill"

Too bad it's a hill of effluvia.

On May 25, 5:10 pm, Curt <curtja...@gmail.com> wrote:
> geek_girl for
>
> "I SOMETIMES SOOPARSET MILITARY PRESSES & CHINS WHEN I AM SHORT ON
> TIME
> AND I AM HYOOGE
>
> QED" /nom
>
> Poetry.
>
> --

Poetry on the short bus man.

The short bus impacted on an 80 yr old oak at 80mph.

EatMe wrote:
[...]

> <snip> effluvia.

Thank you for participating in the process. ;o)

--

EatMe nominated for

> Curt wrote:
>
> > geek_girl for
>
> > "I SOMETIMES SOOPARSET MILITARY
> > PRESSES & CHINS WHEN I AM SHORT
> > ON TIME AND I AM HYOOGE
>
> > QED" /nom
>
> > Poetry.

> Poetry on the short bus man.
>
> The short bus impacted on an
> 80 yr old oak at 80mph.

Short buses rule. But, hey, convenient that you'd post this to the
humour nom thread so I won't have to travel so far (by way of copy and
paste).

--

Nominating kcmunchkin for

The king of concepts that time forgot. /nom

No offense to Gironda (by me anyway) but that title is killer. )

--

ATP* for his comments re Robert Schuh's "In hind site":

"That would actually be the location of your ass, Bert. Maybe you were
struggling to come up with 'hindsight'." /nom

Shhh! You'll offend the only MFW patron with a perfect (cough) SAT
Verbal score.

And, no, this nomination isn't simply to pick on 'bert, but rather to
recognize the beauty of the pun. (Okay, slamming Schuh is certainly
part of the fun.)

DID I SPELLED ALL THAT RITE??? /schuh kf scream

--

Charles for his intoxicating take on Robert's query about "mild
drinkers" (typo of the intended milK drinkers)

"This is a very challenging topic Rob, and so much more interesting
than the plethora of other crap you have started churning out on a
daily basis.

Here is my opinion which will no doubt get the sober alcoholics among
us (those who don't drink just one day at a time) sucking their teeth
in disapproval.

I can't with hand on heart claim to be a "mild drinker", as I tend to
approach the art of drinking with a great deal of enthusiasm. This
tends to manifest itself in regular bouts of what is known as binge
drinking.

These regular bouts of binge drinking tend to take place at the end of
the working week and other holidays and breaks from work, when I am
known to be "having a great weekend".

I suggest a "mild drinker" is a man who takes no more than 4 units of
alcohol per day. I tend to not drink from Monday to Friday, but use
the total allocation of safe daily units for a full week, which works
out at 28 units, and spread them over the two days of the weekend.

However, I have been known on occasions to become even more
enthusiastic if I am having a particularly "great weekend"!!

This may be why on my return to work that I always say: "Ugh! It's
Monday!

HTH!

NB
This response is submitted by:
The Tongue in Cheek Society

Sponsored by:
Always Trite Productions. /copy and paste

--

In article <1180519795.635654.195240@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups .com>,
Curt <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

> Charles for his intoxicating take on Robert's query about "mild
> drinkers" (typo of the intended milK drinkers)
>
> "This is a very challenging topic Rob, and so much more interesting
> than the plethora of other crap you have started churning out on a
> daily basis.

<snipped>

Seconded...

;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

On 30 May 2007 03:09:55 -0700, Curt <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

>Charles for his intoxicating take on Robert's query about "mild
>drinkers" (typo of the intended milK drinkers)
>
>"This is a very challenging topic Rob, and so much more interesting
>than the plethora of other crap you have started churning out on a
>daily basis.
>
>Here is my opinion which will no doubt get the sober alcoholics among
>us (those who don't drink just one day at a time) sucking their teeth
>in disapproval.
>
>I can't with hand on heart claim to be a "mild drinker", as I tend to
>approach the art of drinking with a great deal of enthusiasm. This
>tends to manifest itself in regular bouts of what is known as binge
>drinking.
>
>These regular bouts of binge drinking tend to take place at the end of
>the working week and other holidays and breaks from work, when I am
>known to be "having a great weekend".
>
>I suggest a "mild drinker" is a man who takes no more than 4 units of
>alcohol per day. I tend to not drink from Monday to Friday, but use
>the total allocation of safe daily units for a full week, which works
>out at 28 units, and spread them over the two days of the weekend.
>
>However, I have been known on occasions to become even more
>enthusiastic if I am having a particularly "great weekend"!!
>
>This may be why on my return to work that I always say: "Ugh! It's
>Monday!
>
>HTH!
>
>NB
>This response is submitted by:
>The Tongue in Cheek Society
>
>Sponsored by:
>Always Trite Productions. /copy and paste

HEH!

Fame at last! ;o)

This may get The Oz motivated, as we miss his witty contributions!

Charles wrote:
> On 30 May 2007 03:09:55 -0700, Curt <curtja...@gmail.com> wrote:
[...]

> >Charles for his intoxicating take on Robert's query about "mild
> >drinkers" (typo of the intended milK drinkers)
>
> >"This is a very challen<snip>

And Om seconded!

> HEH!
>
> Fame at last! ;o)

You were due. Wrongly overlooked on several occasions, Charles. I, I,
I am ch-ch-chagrined. (

> This may get The Oz motivated,

Yes!

> as we miss his witty contributions!

And I'll second THAT motion! D

--
Curt

Cohen nominated for his reply to being criticized for chasing away
blithering idiots

"I did no such thing. I simply erased him from my personal reality.

Who were we talking about?

Damn! I'm good. /nom

--

On 30 May 2007 13:16:18 -0700, Curt <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

>Charles wrote:
>> On 30 May 2007 03:09:55 -0700, Curt <curtja...@gmail.com> wrote:
>[...]
>
>> >Charles for his intoxicating take on Robert's query about "mild
>> >drinkers" (typo of the intended milK drinkers)
>>
>> >"This is a very challen<snip>
>
>And Om seconded!
>
>> HEH!
>>
>> Fame at last! ;o)
>
>You were due. Wrongly overlooked on several occasions, Charles. I, I,
>I am ch-ch-chagrined. (
>
>> This may get The Oz motivated,
>
>Yes!
>
>> as we miss his witty contributions!
>
>And I'll second THAT motion! D

Talking about "motions", where is the Oz bugger? ;o)

Charles wrote:
[...]

> Talking about "motions", where is
> the Oz bugger? ;o)

Spending my salary at some exotic beachfront locale?

Bastard.

--
Curt

In article <1180556833.493371.275020@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups .com>,
Curt <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

> Cohen nominated for his reply to being criticized for chasing away
> blithering idiots
>
> "I did no such thing. I simply erased him from my personal reality.
>
> Who were we talking about?
>
> Damn! I'm good. /nom
>
> --

:-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1180564886.284334.195040@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
> Charles wrote:
> [...]
>
>> Talking about "motions", where is
>> the Oz bugger? ;o)
>
> Spending my salary at some exotic beachfront locale?

Ha ha! Didn't go far (your salary) unfortunately - one pina colada and a
tip! Now I'm eatiing through Charles' Bentley - but, as I've said again and
again, I'm not out here in this seemingly idyllic tropical island soaking up
the sun just for my health - I am building contacts, and networking -
sacrificing my time for the good of the company - so we can keep you on that
rickety old stool and finance the tea, the coffee, the powdered milk, the
sugar, the biscuits ------ you know whe have to pay for all your perks!!

>
> Bastard.
>
> --
> Curt
>

Lucas Buck gets a nom for his comments re Andrew Speaker, a 31-year-
old personal injury lawyer and son-in-law to Robert C. Cooksey, a CDC
microbiologist specializing in TB and other bacteria

"They should have kicked him off the plane.

At 39,000 feet.

(In fact, this is an effective prophylactic treatment against many
strains of tort lawyers)."

SWEET!

And Buck's bonus guffaw:

"yeah, nothing tans like a few days' side trip in Quebec"

Boom! Cohen, let's see that at-the-buzzer gut buster if you're looking
to add the May Humour Award Gold medal to your trophy case. )

--

David wrote:
[...]

re spending MY paycheck while on "vacation"

> Ha ha! Didn't go far (your salary)
> unfortunately - one pina colada and a
> tip!

Musta bin a rather INexpensive pina colada, David!

> Now I'm eatiing through Charles'
Bentley

Ahh, I am glad that my friend is helping to shoulder the burden of
your excess. ;o)

> - but, as I've said again and again,
> I'm not out here in this seemingly
> idyllic tropical island soaking up
> the sun just for my health - I am
> building contacts, and networking -
> sacrificing my time for the good
> of the company -

Oh, undoubtedly. Undoubtedly! You're the very picture of the selfless
man.

> so we can keep you on that rickety
> old stool and finance the tea, the
> coffee, the powdered milk, the
> sugar, the biscuits ------ you know
> we have to pay for all your perks!!

Yes, but I think it's quite a stretch to call "allowing me to breathe
while at work" a perk, don't you?

NEVER MIND! NEVER MIND! I thank you for your kindness and efforts on
my behalf, good sir. Thank you!

(takes deep breath)

--
Curt

"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1180663543.705362.66710@p47g2000hsd.googlegro ups.com...
> David wrote:
> [...]
>
> re spending MY paycheck while on "vacation"
>
>> Ha ha! Didn't go far (your salary)
>> unfortunately - one pina colada and a
>> tip!
>
> Musta bin a rather INexpensive pina colada, David!
>
>> Now I'm eatiing through Charles'
> Bentley
>
> Ahh, I am glad that my friend is helping to shoulder the burden of
> your excess. ;o)
>
>> - but, as I've said again and again,
>> I'm not out here in this seemingly
>> idyllic tropical island soaking up
>> the sun just for my health - I am
>> building contacts, and networking -
>> sacrificing my time for the good
>> of the company -
>
> Oh, undoubtedly. Undoubtedly! You're the very picture of the selfless
> man.
>
>> so we can keep you on that rickety
>> old stool and finance the tea, the
>> coffee, the powdered milk, the
>> sugar, the biscuits ------ you know
>> we have to pay for all your perks!!
>
> Yes, but I think it's quite a stretch to call "allowing me to breathe
> while at work" a perk, don't you?
>
> NEVER MIND! NEVER MIND! I thank you for your kindness and efforts on
> my behalf, good sir. Thank you!
>
> (takes deep breath)

Of course Curt you need to keep in mind that you are due for a Christmas
bonus this year (first time in years but we cracked a sale last month as you
know) - it will be a night out for you and your partner - Charles and I
have discussed it and we have come up with . . . . get this . . . . . a gift
voucher from Subway for a 'dinner for two'!!! PLUS 2 tickets at the movie
theatre of your choice!!! For heavens sake it doesn't get much better, does
it? Value your job, Curt - we look after our own!

>
> --
> Curt
>

On Sat, 2 Jun 2007 08:59:46 +1000, "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au>
wrote:
>
>"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
>news:1180663543.705362.66710@p47g2000hsd.googlegr oups.com...
>> David wrote:
>> [...]
>>
>> re spending MY paycheck while on "vacation"
>>
>>> Ha ha! Didn't go far (your salary)
>>> unfortunately - one pina colada and a
>>> tip!
>>
>> Musta bin a rather INexpensive pina colada, David!
>>
>>> Now I'm eatiing through Charles'
>> Bentley
>>
>> Ahh, I am glad that my friend is helping to shoulder the burden of
>> your excess. ;o)
>>
>>> - but, as I've said again and again,
>>> I'm not out here in this seemingly
>>> idyllic tropical island soaking up
>>> the sun just for my health - I am
>>> building contacts, and networking -
>>> sacrificing my time for the good
>>> of the company -
>>
>> Oh, undoubtedly. Undoubtedly! You're the very picture of the selfless
>> man.
>>
>>> so we can keep you on that rickety
>>> old stool and finance the tea, the
>>> coffee, the powdered milk, the
>>> sugar, the biscuits ------ you know
>>> we have to pay for all your perks!!
>>
>> Yes, but I think it's quite a stretch to call "allowing me to breathe
>> while at work" a perk, don't you?
>>
>> NEVER MIND! NEVER MIND! I thank you for your kindness and efforts on
>> my behalf, good sir. Thank you!
>>
>> (takes deep breath)
>
>Of course Curt you need to keep in mind that you are due for a Christmas
>bonus this year (first time in years but we cracked a sale last month as you
>know) - it will be a night out for you and your partner - Charles and I
>have discussed it and we have come up with . . . . get this . . . . . a gift
>voucher from Subway for a 'dinner for two'!!! PLUS 2 tickets at the movie
>theatre of your choice!!! For heavens sake it doesn't get much better, does
>it? Value your job, Curt - we look after our own!
>

It is the decent thing to do, for a much valued Chairman, who works
tirelessly and selflessly for the good of the Group, despite all the
brickbats he receives from a certain low grade lawyer! ;o)

HAGW

"Charles" <jrh@msn.com> wrote in message
news:sb91631ee89n9d0kvs6jjnn8h98kf14o41@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 2 Jun 2007 08:59:46 +1000, "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au>
> wrote:
>>
>>"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
>>news:1180663543.705362.66710@p47g2000hsd.googleg roups.com...
>>> David wrote:
>>> [...]
>>>
>>> re spending MY paycheck while on "vacation"
>>>
>>>> Ha ha! Didn't go far (your salary)
>>>> unfortunately - one pina colada and a
>>>> tip!
>>>
>>> Musta bin a rather INexpensive pina colada, David!
>>>
>>>> Now I'm eatiing through Charles'
>>> Bentley
>>>
>>> Ahh, I am glad that my friend is helping to shoulder the burden of
>>> your excess. ;o)
>>>
>>>> - but, as I've said again and again,
>>>> I'm not out here in this seemingly
>>>> idyllic tropical island soaking up
>>>> the sun just for my health - I am
>>>> building contacts, and networking -
>>>> sacrificing my time for the good
>>>> of the company -
>>>
>>> Oh, undoubtedly. Undoubtedly! You're the very picture of the selfless
>>> man.
>>>
>>>> so we can keep you on that rickety
>>>> old stool and finance the tea, the
>>>> coffee, the powdered milk, the
>>>> sugar, the biscuits ------ you know
>>>> we have to pay for all your perks!!
>>>
>>> Yes, but I think it's quite a stretch to call "allowing me to breathe
>>> while at work" a perk, don't you?
>>>
>>> NEVER MIND! NEVER MIND! I thank you for your kindness and efforts on
>>> my behalf, good sir. Thank you!
>>>
>>> (takes deep breath)
>>
>>Of course Curt you need to keep in mind that you are due for a Christmas
>>bonus this year (first time in years but we cracked a sale last month as
>>you
>>know) - it will be a night out for you and your partner - Charles and I
>>have discussed it and we have come up with . . . . get this . . . . . a
>>gift
>>voucher from Subway for a 'dinner for two'!!! PLUS 2 tickets at the movie
>>theatre of your choice!!! For heavens sake it doesn't get much better,
>>does
>>it? Value your job, Curt - we look after our own!
>>
>
> It is the decent thing to do, for a much valued Chairman, who works
> tirelessly and selflessly for the good of the Group, despite all the
> brickbats he receives from a certain low grade lawyer! ;o)

Yes, he would be very difficult to replace - at "salary" offered, I would
say pretty well impossible
>
> HAGW
>