MFW's December Humour Award

Please note that the list of nominations was delivered to
PricewaterhouseCoopers, the tabulator and certifier of votes for the
MFW Humour Awards since the dawn of time (give or take) by yours truly.
With that (and the bottle of Chagrine I went through during the trip to
PwC) in mind, there may just be some missing nominations. For this I do
apologize.

The Nominees in no particular order:

1. Lucas Buck

David Cohen wrote, "I have lived in Las Vegas for nearly three decades.
After twenty years, they make you an honorary native. At thirty, I'll
get an official Mafia nickname and a free hour at the Chicken Ranch
Brothel."

To which Lucas Buck replied, "But will they let you redeem that 45
seconds at a time?"

2. Bully

re Pavel: "but that is NOT a good look !!!"

Nominated per Steve Freides.

3. Pete

It seems that you kill-filed Curt and Charles. But not me, and i didn't
kill-file them.

Both John and Will kill-filed Curt, but they didnt kill-file me. I also
belive that John and Will kill-filed Charles, but not you. So all three
of you kill-filed Curt and Charles. But i didnt kill-file Curt, and
neither did David (Cohen)

Steve has me and Curt kill-filed. But not you.

I respond to all of you guys, i killfiled only the women.

So we end up kill-filing each other, but the posts will still echo
through.

Unless we kill-file the persons who responds to those who are
killfiled.

Which means means that you, AND John AND Will will have to kill-file
me, if they dont want to see see Charles or Curt.

Steve has to kill-file YOU, if he doesnt weant to see me.

So YOU have to killfile me too.

And.... this is starting to a bit confusing...

4. Geek_girl

Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid "a thyroid condition".

5. Will Brink

Bully: "What are your goals for the next 3 months?"
SEAL: "That's a good question. I haven't really thought it out."
Will Brink: "Shocking."

6. David Cohen

I'd disagree with you, but then you'd have to disagree with me, and
that would place us in a neverending paradox loop where we we would be
trapped through all eternity, battling with each other to preserve the
integrity of two univers...oh, wait, no, that was a Star trek episode.
Sorry. Got confused.

7. Edna Pearl

"Jeez, that's kinda sad. <sniff> Maybe you need a hobby, so you won't
have to spend so much psychic energy on "really caring" what some
magazine editor says in a popular diet book that you refuse to read in
the first place. I like needlepoint, personally. Cats are relaxing,
too."

8. David

"sorry to be the one to have to inform you but the cubicle goes. It
must be torn down as that area we decided needs to be a guest waiting
room - the other day we had a customer for the first time in weeks and
she left before we could show her the 'time share' deal because she had
no where to sit and of course you were too busy to look after her.
We'll get you a bigger and better one but just as soon as business
picks up a little - meantime we have a little stool for you near the
bathroom out the back by the rubbish bins."

Personally, I didn't find any humor there at all, however Om got a
chuckle and so there you have it.

(adjusts broken leg on little stool)

No, David's not such a funny man. Trust me on that.

(glares, wobbles, glares some more)

9. DZ

re Arnold's encyclopedia

I actually have this book, it was given to me as a present. When I saw
the present, I said in Dally's voice: "why can't you just see a human
being in me behind the pretty face and bulging muscle?!"

Then I sobbed inconsolably, and ate a jug of ice cream (that is not to
imply anything about Dally, who would just run a marathon)

As you can see, the book was extensively read by my cat -
http://home.nc.rr.com/netsink/Ahnuld.jpg

10. Tom Anderson

"I NEED YOUR CLOTHES YOUR BOOTS AND ... AND ACTUALLY THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
IT."

"You still don't get it, do you? She'll find her. That's what she does.
That's all she does! You can't stop her. She'll wade through you, reach
down her top, and pull her fucking breasts out."

"Decided our fate in a microsecond: inebriation"

"Listen. And understand. That Miss USA is out there. It can't be
bargained
with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel shame, or
embarrassment,
or sobriety. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are
laid."

"Live with me if you want to come."

11. JMW

Belated nomination for:

http://www.rustyiron.net/curtinfl.jpg
http://www.rustyiron.net/trollz.htm

Om, fwiw, I couldn't find the pita jpeg with the Alien bursting out of
my neck.

(Googles some more)

http://www.rustyiron.net/lump.jpg

Hey, I thought the lump jpeg was the pita jpeg. What were you talking
about, Om?

12. Shute

It is sad the Briteny/KFed thing didn't work out. They seemed so
promising together.

13. David (again!)

"I've already double nominated you. ;-D That HYOOGE list of DHEA links
was highly impressive and deliciously sarcastic."
- Om re David

14. Om

I must admit that is somewhat humourous maybe we give it Decembers
award for the "Best Purloined Joke of the Month"
- David re Om

And the joke:

A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we
went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to
check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.

The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew
what it meant: he was going to toy with her. He told her that no, he
was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he
said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50
pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of
most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.

He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food
is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind
the woman.

Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina
made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the
street licking his balls and a car hit him.

The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the
floor.

And without further ado, the winners of December's MFW Humour Awards!


Bronze goes to DZ.

Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.

And the Gold Medal is presented to David!

Charles will now sing "There She Is, Miss America!"

Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.

--
Curt

"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1168115747.341642.236690@42g2000cwt.googlegro ups.com...
> Please note that the list of nominations was delivered to
> PricewaterhouseCoopers, the tabulator and certifier of votes for the
> MFW Humour Awards since the dawn of time (give or take) by yours truly.
> With that (and the bottle of Chagrine I went through during the trip to
> PwC) in mind, there may just be some missing nominations. For this I do
> apologize.
>
> The Nominees in no particular order:
>
> 1. Lucas Buck
>
> David Cohen wrote, "I have lived in Las Vegas for nearly three decades.
> After twenty years, they make you an honorary native. At thirty, I'll
> get an official Mafia nickname and a free hour at the Chicken Ranch
> Brothel."
>
> To which Lucas Buck replied, "But will they let you redeem that 45
> seconds at a time?"
>
> 2. Bully
>
> re Pavel: "but that is NOT a good look !!!"
>
> Nominated per Steve Freides.
>
> 3. Pete
>
> It seems that you kill-filed Curt and Charles. But not me, and i didn't
> kill-file them.
>
> Both John and Will kill-filed Curt, but they didnt kill-file me. I also
> belive that John and Will kill-filed Charles, but not you. So all three
> of you kill-filed Curt and Charles. But i didnt kill-file Curt, and
> neither did David (Cohen)
>
> Steve has me and Curt kill-filed. But not you.
>
> I respond to all of you guys, i killfiled only the women.
>
> So we end up kill-filing each other, but the posts will still echo
> through.
>
> Unless we kill-file the persons who responds to those who are
> killfiled.
>
> Which means means that you, AND John AND Will will have to kill-file
> me, if they dont want to see see Charles or Curt.
>
> Steve has to kill-file YOU, if he doesnt weant to see me.
>
> So YOU have to killfile me too.
>
> And.... this is starting to a bit confusing...
>
> 4. Geek_girl
>
> Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid "a thyroid condition".
>
> 5. Will Brink
>
> Bully: "What are your goals for the next 3 months?"
> SEAL: "That's a good question. I haven't really thought it out."
> Will Brink: "Shocking."
>
> 6. David Cohen
>
> I'd disagree with you, but then you'd have to disagree with me, and
> that would place us in a neverending paradox loop where we we would be
> trapped through all eternity, battling with each other to preserve the
> integrity of two univers...oh, wait, no, that was a Star trek episode.
> Sorry. Got confused.
>
> 7. Edna Pearl
>
> "Jeez, that's kinda sad. <sniff> Maybe you need a hobby, so you won't
> have to spend so much psychic energy on "really caring" what some
> magazine editor says in a popular diet book that you refuse to read in
> the first place. I like needlepoint, personally. Cats are relaxing,
> too."
>
> 8. David
>
> "sorry to be the one to have to inform you but the cubicle goes. It
> must be torn down as that area we decided needs to be a guest waiting
> room - the other day we had a customer for the first time in weeks and
> she left before we could show her the 'time share' deal because she had
> no where to sit and of course you were too busy to look after her.
> We'll get you a bigger and better one but just as soon as business
> picks up a little - meantime we have a little stool for you near the
> bathroom out the back by the rubbish bins."
>
> Personally, I didn't find any humor there at all, however Om got a
> chuckle and so there you have it.
>
> (adjusts broken leg on little stool)
>
> No, David's not such a funny man. Trust me on that.
>
> (glares, wobbles, glares some more)
>
> 9. DZ
>
> re Arnold's encyclopedia
>
> I actually have this book, it was given to me as a present. When I saw
> the present, I said in Dally's voice: "why can't you just see a human
> being in me behind the pretty face and bulging muscle?!"
>
> Then I sobbed inconsolably, and ate a jug of ice cream (that is not to
> imply anything about Dally, who would just run a marathon)
>
> As you can see, the book was extensively read by my cat -
> http://home.nc.rr.com/netsink/Ahnuld.jpg
>
> 10. Tom Anderson
>
> "I NEED YOUR CLOTHES YOUR BOOTS AND ... AND ACTUALLY THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
> IT."
>
> "You still don't get it, do you? She'll find her. That's what she does.
> That's all she does! You can't stop her. She'll wade through you, reach
> down her top, and pull her fucking breasts out."
>
> "Decided our fate in a microsecond: inebriation"
>
> "Listen. And understand. That Miss USA is out there. It can't be
> bargained
> with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel shame, or
> embarrassment,
> or sobriety. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are
> laid."
>
> "Live with me if you want to come."
>
> 11. JMW
>
> Belated nomination for:
>
> http://www.rustyiron.net/curtinfl.jpg
> http://www.rustyiron.net/trollz.htm
>
> Om, fwiw, I couldn't find the pita jpeg with the Alien bursting out of
> my neck.
>
> (Googles some more)
>
> http://www.rustyiron.net/lump.jpg
>
> Hey, I thought the lump jpeg was the pita jpeg. What were you talking
> about, Om?
>
> 12. Shute
>
> It is sad the Briteny/KFed thing didn't work out. They seemed so
> promising together.
>
> 13. David (again!)
>
> "I've already double nominated you. ;-D That HYOOGE list of DHEA links
> was highly impressive and deliciously sarcastic."
> - Om re David
>
> 14. Om
>
> I must admit that is somewhat humourous maybe we give it Decembers
> award for the "Best Purloined Joke of the Month"
> - David re Om
>
> And the joke:
>
> A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we
> went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to
> check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
>
> The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew
> what it meant: he was going to toy with her. He told her that no, he
> was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he
> said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50
> pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of
> most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
> He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
> that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
> simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food
> is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
>
> I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
> enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind
> the woman.
>
> Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina
> made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the
> street licking his balls and a car hit him.
>
> The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the
> floor.
>
> And without further ado, the winners of December's MFW Humour Awards!
>
>
> Bronze goes to DZ.
>
> Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
>
> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>
> Charles will now sing "There She Is, Miss America!"
>
> Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
> suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.
>
> --
> Curt
>

YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my wife and call my other
friend with the news!! Bless you and the Humour Committee for showing such
acumen and excellent judgement!
(however I would have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment) I
don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who has always stood by me,
my partner Charles who I couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my grade 3
teacher, the janitor, AND the Humour Committee which was my inspiration and
.. Curt . .(sorry about the stool!) . (wipes a tear . . ..) and . . .I
PROMISE TO BE A BETTER PERSON IN FUTURE!!! Thank you Thank you!!

On 6 Jan 2007 12:35:47 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

>Please note that the list of nominations was delivered to
>PricewaterhouseCoopers, the tabulator and certifier of votes for the
>MFW Humour Awards since the dawn of time (give or take) by yours truly.
>With that (and the bottle of Chagrine I went through during the trip to
>PwC) in mind, there may just be some missing nominations. For this I do
>apologize.
>
[...]

>
>And without further ado, the winners of December's MFW Humour Awards!
>
>
>Bronze goes to DZ.
>
>Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
>
>And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>
>Charles will now sing "There She Is, Miss America!"

It has been duly sung with reverence and deep sentiment.

>
>Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
>suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.
>

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (from Monty Python)

From: A Faire To Remember
words and music by Eric Idle

Come on now - all together:

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

;o)

"David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:45a0106e$0$16552$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.a u...
>
> "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:1168115747.341642.236690@42g2000cwt.googlegro ups.com...
>> Please note that the list of nominations was delivered to
>> PricewaterhouseCoopers, the tabulator and certifier of votes for the
>> MFW Humour Awards since the dawn of time (give or take) by yours truly.
>> With that (and the bottle of Chagrine I went through during the trip to
>> PwC) in mind, there may just be some missing nominations. For this I do
>> apologize.
>>
>> The Nominees in no particular order:
>>
>> 1. Lucas Buck
>>
>> David Cohen wrote, "I have lived in Las Vegas for nearly three decades.
>> After twenty years, they make you an honorary native. At thirty, I'll
>> get an official Mafia nickname and a free hour at the Chicken Ranch
>> Brothel."
>>
>> To which Lucas Buck replied, "But will they let you redeem that 45
>> seconds at a time?"
>>
>> 2. Bully
>>
>> re Pavel: "but that is NOT a good look !!!"
>>
>> Nominated per Steve Freides.
>>
>> 3. Pete
>>
>> It seems that you kill-filed Curt and Charles. But not me, and i didn't
>> kill-file them.
>>
>> Both John and Will kill-filed Curt, but they didnt kill-file me. I also
>> belive that John and Will kill-filed Charles, but not you. So all three
>> of you kill-filed Curt and Charles. But i didnt kill-file Curt, and
>> neither did David (Cohen)
>>
>> Steve has me and Curt kill-filed. But not you.
>>
>> I respond to all of you guys, i killfiled only the women.
>>
>> So we end up kill-filing each other, but the posts will still echo
>> through.
>>
>> Unless we kill-file the persons who responds to those who are
>> killfiled.
>>
>> Which means means that you, AND John AND Will will have to kill-file
>> me, if they dont want to see see Charles or Curt.
>>
>> Steve has to kill-file YOU, if he doesnt weant to see me.
>>
>> So YOU have to killfile me too.
>>
>> And.... this is starting to a bit confusing...
>>
>> 4. Geek_girl
>>
>> Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid "a thyroid condition".
>>
>> 5. Will Brink
>>
>> Bully: "What are your goals for the next 3 months?"
>> SEAL: "That's a good question. I haven't really thought it out."
>> Will Brink: "Shocking."
>>
>> 6. David Cohen
>>
>> I'd disagree with you, but then you'd have to disagree with me, and
>> that would place us in a neverending paradox loop where we we would be
>> trapped through all eternity, battling with each other to preserve the
>> integrity of two univers...oh, wait, no, that was a Star trek episode.
>> Sorry. Got confused.
>>
>> 7. Edna Pearl
>>
>> "Jeez, that's kinda sad. <sniff> Maybe you need a hobby, so you won't
>> have to spend so much psychic energy on "really caring" what some
>> magazine editor says in a popular diet book that you refuse to read in
>> the first place. I like needlepoint, personally. Cats are relaxing,
>> too."
>>
>> 8. David
>>
>> "sorry to be the one to have to inform you but the cubicle goes. It
>> must be torn down as that area we decided needs to be a guest waiting
>> room - the other day we had a customer for the first time in weeks and
>> she left before we could show her the 'time share' deal because she had
>> no where to sit and of course you were too busy to look after her.
>> We'll get you a bigger and better one but just as soon as business
>> picks up a little - meantime we have a little stool for you near the
>> bathroom out the back by the rubbish bins."
>>
>> Personally, I didn't find any humor there at all, however Om got a
>> chuckle and so there you have it.
>>
>> (adjusts broken leg on little stool)
>>
>> No, David's not such a funny man. Trust me on that.
>>
>> (glares, wobbles, glares some more)
>>
>> 9. DZ
>>
>> re Arnold's encyclopedia
>>
>> I actually have this book, it was given to me as a present. When I saw
>> the present, I said in Dally's voice: "why can't you just see a human
>> being in me behind the pretty face and bulging muscle?!"
>>
>> Then I sobbed inconsolably, and ate a jug of ice cream (that is not to
>> imply anything about Dally, who would just run a marathon)
>>
>> As you can see, the book was extensively read by my cat -
>> http://home.nc.rr.com/netsink/Ahnuld.jpg
>>
>> 10. Tom Anderson
>>
>> "I NEED YOUR CLOTHES YOUR BOOTS AND ... AND ACTUALLY THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
>> IT."
>>
>> "You still don't get it, do you? She'll find her. That's what she does.
>> That's all she does! You can't stop her. She'll wade through you, reach
>> down her top, and pull her fucking breasts out."
>>
>> "Decided our fate in a microsecond: inebriation"
>>
>> "Listen. And understand. That Miss USA is out there. It can't be
>> bargained
>> with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel shame, or
>> embarrassment,
>> or sobriety. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are
>> laid."
>>
>> "Live with me if you want to come."
>>
>> 11. JMW
>>
>> Belated nomination for:
>>
>> http://www.rustyiron.net/curtinfl.jpg
>> http://www.rustyiron.net/trollz.htm
>>
>> Om, fwiw, I couldn't find the pita jpeg with the Alien bursting out of
>> my neck.
>>
>> (Googles some more)
>>
>> http://www.rustyiron.net/lump.jpg
>>
>> Hey, I thought the lump jpeg was the pita jpeg. What were you talking
>> about, Om?
>>
>> 12. Shute
>>
>> It is sad the Briteny/KFed thing didn't work out. They seemed so
>> promising together.
>>
>> 13. David (again!)
>>
>> "I've already double nominated you. ;-D That HYOOGE list of DHEA links
>> was highly impressive and deliciously sarcastic."
>> - Om re David
>>
>> 14. Om
>>
>> I must admit that is somewhat humourous maybe we give it Decembers
>> award for the "Best Purloined Joke of the Month"
>> - David re Om
>>
>> And the joke:
>>
>> A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we
>> went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to
>> check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
>>
>> The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew
>> what it meant: he was going to toy with her. He told her that no, he
>> was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he
>> said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50
>> pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of
>> most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
>>
>> He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
>> that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
>> simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food
>> is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
>>
>> I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
>> enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind
>> the woman.
>>
>> Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina
>> made him sick? He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the
>> street licking his balls and a car hit him.
>>
>> The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the
>> floor.
>>
>> And without further ado, the winners of December's MFW Humour Awards!
>>
>>
>> Bronze goes to DZ.
>>
>> Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
>>
>> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>>
>> Charles will now sing "There She Is, Miss America!"
>>
>> Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
>> suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.
>>
>> --
>> Curt
>>
>
> YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my wife and call my other
> friend with the news!! Bless you and the Humour Committee for showing such
> acumen and excellent judgement!
> (however I would have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment) I
> don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who has always stood by
> me, my partner Charles who I couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my
> grade 3 teacher, the janitor, AND the Humour Committee which was my
> inspiration and . Curt . .(sorry about the stool!) . (wipes a tear . .
> ..) and . . .I PROMISE TO BE A BETTER PERSON IN FUTURE!!! Thank you Thank
> you!!
OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough to give me the
nomination in the first place!
Thank you! Thank you!

David wrote:
> "David"wrote
> > "Curt" wrote
[...]

> >> 4. Geek_girl
> >>
> >> Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid
> >> "a thyroid condition".
[...]

> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
> >> MFW Humour Awards!
> >>
> >>
> >> Bronze goes to DZ.
> >>
> >> Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
> >>
> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
> >><snip>
> >
> > YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my
> > wife and call my other friend with the news!! Bless
> > you and the Humour Committee for showing such
> > acumen and excellent judgement! (however I would
> > have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment)

Yeah, I loved that one. Great gag or genuinely struck-me-hella-funny
moment.

> > I don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who
> > has always stood by me, my partner Charles who I
> > couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my grade 3 teacher,

The mention of Mrs. Taylor has me immediately making a mental note to
myself to nominate you for January's award. Your entire acceptance
speech post had me rolling.

[...]

> OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough
> to give me the nomination in the first place!

Om offered you TWO nominations, actually.

> Thank you! Thank you!

No, thank you! Laughter is truly the best medicine. Congratulations on
this amazing achievement. ;o)

--
Curt

On 6 Jan 2007 23:12:03 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

>David wrote:
>> "David"wrote
>> > "Curt" wrote
>[...]
>
>> >> 4. Geek_girl
>> >>
>> >> Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid
>> >> "a thyroid condition".
>[...]
>
>> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
>> >> MFW Humour Awards!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Bronze goes to DZ.
>> >>
>> >> Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
>> >>
>> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>> >><snip>
>> >
>> > YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my
>> > wife and call my other friend with the news!! Bless
>> > you and the Humour Committee for showing such
>> > acumen and excellent judgement! (however I would
>> > have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment)
>
>Yeah, I loved that one. Great gag or genuinely struck-me-hella-funny
>moment.
>
>> > I don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who
>> > has always stood by me, my partner Charles who I
>> > couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my grade 3 teacher,
>
>The mention of Mrs. Taylor has me immediately making a mental note to
>myself to nominate you for January's award. Your entire acceptance
>speech post had me rolling.

There is a degree of sycophancy and mutual pissing up kilts emerging
here, which will undermine the potential goodwill engendered by the
Humour Committee's activities.

>
>[...]
>
>> OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough
>> to give me the nomination in the first place!
>
>Om offered you TWO nominations, actually.
>
>> Thank you! Thank you!
>
>No, thank you! Laughter is truly the best medicine. Congratulations on
>this amazing achievement. ;o)
>

You are referring to the chap who has done nothing but constantly
undermine your activities as Chairman, while completely overlooking
the albeit somewhat modest contributions from your benefactor.

In your summing up for the month you managed to give a mention to
almost every regular contributor to the Group, plus a couple of
passing drunks who wondered what the fuck the fuss was all about.

I thought it had been established that members of the Humour Committee
were exempt from nomination for the prestigious monthly awards. I
assumed that this was the reason why a certain English gentleman did
not even merit a single syllable 'crap' for his modest input.

I urge you to review procedures Mr Chairman or it is likely heads will
roll. If that sounds like sour grapes mate - IT FUCKING IS!!

The appointment you hold brings with it certain responsibilities; it
also invites criticism and hostility if you err. You may even find
that the gentle soul who ofttimes describes himself as The Enforcer,
may well end up disliking you and turn ugly!

Have a great Sunday old chap - I'm off to Mass! ;o)

On Sun, 7 Jan 2007 15:53:37 +1000, "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au>
wrote:
>
>"David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
>news:45a0106e$0$16552$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com. au...
>>

[...]

>>>
>>> Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
>>> suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.
>>>
>>> --
>>> Curt
>>>
>>
>> YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my wife and call my other
>> friend with the news!! Bless you and the Humour Committee for showing such
>> acumen and excellent judgement!
>> (however I would have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment) I
>> don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who has always stood by
>> me, my partner Charles who I couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my
>> grade 3 teacher, the janitor, AND the Humour Committee which was my
>> inspiration and . Curt . .(sorry about the stool!) . (wipes a tear . .
>> ..) and . . .I PROMISE TO BE A BETTER PERSON IN FUTURE!!! Thank you Thank
>> you!!

>OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough to give me the
>nomination in the first place!
>Thank you! Thank you!
>

Kindly remove your snout from the collective MFW orifice and take a
flannel and soap to your brown-stained hooter.

Don't forget those who made you what you are, and remember that those
whom you patronise or ignore on the way up, will be pleased to kick
your arse as you pass them again on the inevitable return journey.

Remember, modesty is becoming and manners maketh the man. Also
acknowledge what happened to Humpty Dumpty, the poor little fat fuck!

Have a great Sunday Oz - now where's my Rosary? ;o)

Charles wrote:
[...]

> There is a degree of sycophancy and mutual pissing up kilts emerging
> here, which will undermine the potential goodwill engendered by the
> Humour Committee's activities.

Pssst, Charles, SHHH! If I'm ever going to get my cubicle back you're
going to have to play along. Damn it, man!

> You are referring to the chap who has done nothing but constantly
> undermine your activities as Chairman, while completely overlooking
> the albeit somewhat modest contributions from your benefactor.

YOU'RE RIGHT! Why, I'd just as soon take a poke at him as look at the
cubicle-stealing son of a...

But, no, I won't stoop to his level (lest I fall off my wobbling
stool).

> In your summing up for the month you managed to give a mention to
> almost every regular contributor to the Group, plus a couple of
> passing drunks who wondered what the fuck the fuss was all about.

I suspect that may be the case. Regardless, a Humour Committee member
must fulfill his tasks!

> I thought it had been established that members of the Humour Committee
> were exempt from nomination for the prestigious monthly awards.

Oh, they are, however one cannot overlook TWO nominations. (Well, one
CAN, however, uh, well, that is, I mean...)

> I assumed that this was the reason why a certain English gentleman
> did not even merit a single syllable 'crap' for his modest input.

Every word you type is an award in and of itself for all of MFW,
Charles Hudson, Esq.

> I urge you to review procedures Mr Chairman or it is likely heads will
> roll. If that sounds like sour grapes mate - IT FUCKING IS!!

Good old sour grapes! I'm on a prune kick currently. May have to try
those. I think Emmy's enjoying some sour grapes of late. Must be the
new hot diet supplement.

> The appointment you hold brings with it certain responsibilities; it
> also invites criticism and hostility if you err.

I appreciate your advice and recommendations always, Charles. It is a
grave responsibility and one I don't take lightly. Otoh, humor is
supposed to be kinda light and so, I mean, from THAT perspective, I
guess I do take the job lightly, er, so to speak. Yes? Okay, no.
Solemn. Humorless. Serious. Never mind that lighthearted crap. Didn't
say it!

(wipes smile off face)

> You may even find that the gentle soul who ofttimes describes
> himself as The Enforcer, may well end up disliking you and turn
> ugly!

Perish the thought, Charles! What could come between me 'n my
bestestest pal, Em? NOTHING, I tell you! NOTHING!

> Have a great Sunday old chap - I'm off to Mass! ;o)

Enjoy, good sir.

--
Curt

"Charles" <jrh@msn.com> wrote in message
news:qtc1q21o7rmdc0vq6ia98ublfsni2pr2ee@4ax.com...
> On 6 Jan 2007 23:12:03 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>David wrote:
>>> "David"wrote
>>> > "Curt" wrote
>>[...]
>>
>>> >> 4. Geek_girl
>>> >>
>>> >> Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid
>>> >> "a thyroid condition".
>>[...]
>>
>>> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
>>> >> MFW Humour Awards!
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> Bronze goes to DZ.
>>> >>
>>> >> Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
>>> >>
>>> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>>> >><snip>
>>> >
>>> > YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my
>>> > wife and call my other friend with the news!! Bless
>>> > you and the Humour Committee for showing such
>>> > acumen and excellent judgement! (however I would
>>> > have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment)
>>
>>Yeah, I loved that one. Great gag or genuinely struck-me-hella-funny
>>moment.
>>
>>> > I don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who
>>> > has always stood by me, my partner Charles who I
>>> > couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my grade 3 teacher,
>>
>>The mention of Mrs. Taylor has me immediately making a mental note to
>>myself to nominate you for January's award. Your entire acceptance
>>speech post had me rolling.
>
> There is a degree of sycophancy and mutual pissing up kilts emerging
> here, which will undermine the potential goodwill engendered by the
> Humour Committee's activities.
>
>>
>>[...]
>>
>>> OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough
>>> to give me the nomination in the first place!
>>
>>Om offered you TWO nominations, actually.
>>
>>> Thank you! Thank you!
>>
>>No, thank you! Laughter is truly the best medicine. Congratulations on
>>this amazing achievement. ;o)
>>
>
> You are referring to the chap who has done nothing but constantly
> undermine your activities as Chairman, while completely overlooking
> the albeit somewhat modest contributions from your benefactor.
>
> In your summing up for the month you managed to give a mention to
> almost every regular contributor to the Group, plus a couple of
> passing drunks who wondered what the fuck the fuss was all about.
>
> I thought it had been established that members of the Humour Committee
> were exempt from nomination for the prestigious monthly awards. I
> assumed that this was the reason why a certain English gentleman did
> not even merit a single syllable 'crap' for his modest input.
>
> I urge you to review procedures Mr Chairman or it is likely heads will
> roll. If that sounds like sour grapes mate - IT FUCKING IS!!
>
> The appointment you hold brings with it certain responsibilities; it
> also invites criticism and hostility if you err. You may even find
> that the gentle soul who ofttimes describes himself as The Enforcer,
> may well end up disliking you and turn ugly!
>
> Have a great Sunday old chap - I'm off to Mass! ;o)

Curt, it seems obvious that Mr Ponsonby has his nose of joint. I think he is
miffed that he was totally ignored for the prestigious Dec award. Maybe if
you can find something remotely funny he might have said he could be
nominated for the Jan award? (it;s not a reason of course but his Bentley
does secure the bank loan!)

"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1168153923.096021.84750@42g2000cwt.googlegrou ps.com...
> David wrote:
>> "David"wrote
>> > "Curt" wrote
> [...]
>
>> >> 4. Geek_girl
>> >>
>> >> Hmm. I think I'd call not having a thyroid
>> >> "a thyroid condition".
> [...]
>
>> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
>> >> MFW Humour Awards!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Bronze goes to DZ.
>> >>
>> >> Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
>> >>
>> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>> >><snip>
>> >
>> > YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my
>> > wife and call my other friend with the news!! Bless
>> > you and the Humour Committee for showing such
>> > acumen and excellent judgement! (however I would
>> > have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment)
>
> Yeah, I loved that one. Great gag or genuinely struck-me-hella-funny
> moment.
>
>> > I don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who
>> > has always stood by me, my partner Charles who I
>> > couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my grade 3 teacher,
>
> The mention of Mrs. Taylor has me immediately making a mental note to
> myself to nominate you for January's award. Your entire acceptance
> speech post had me rolling.
>

That's decent of you Curt - I don't think for a moment that I could ever win
this award for 2 months in a row! Could it be possible? I dare not even
think . . . my gosh!! (just btw I was thinking of suggesting to Charles
that you might have a modest increase in your perks - I thought (just for a
start) your very own key to the Men's Room??

> [...]
>
>> OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough
>> to give me the nomination in the first place!
>
> Om offered you TWO nominations, actually.
>
>> Thank you! Thank you!
>
> No, thank you! Laughter is truly the best medicine. Congratulations on
> this amazing achievement. ;o)

I am grateful for the confidence you have placed in me and hope that I
fulfil your expectations that I would carry this award with the dignity it
deserves!

>
> --
> Curt
>

David wrote:<snip>
> > "Curt" wrote:

> >>> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
> >>> >> MFW Humour Awards!
[...]
> >>> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!

Thought you might appreciate an instant replay of your recent win,
David.

> Curt, it seems obvious that Mr Ponsonby has his nose of joint. I think he is
> miffed that he was totally ignored for the prestigious Dec award. Maybe if
> you can find something remotely funny he might have said he could be
> nominated for the Jan award? (it;s not a reason of course but his Bentley
> does secure the bank loan!)

I've never even SEEN the Bentley. Obviously, he never drives near the
trash bins, of course. I'm not faulting him for that.

Hmm. Say, I do recall the one thing. Charles told the janitor to give
my hat back and the janitor just couldn't stop laughing. Oh, and I
overheard him talking with you about the likelihood of my getting my
cubicle back and I coulda SWORN I heard you almost vomit you were
laughing so hard. I'm sure either of those at least qualifies Charles
for at least a nomination.

--
Curt

"Charles" <jrh@msn.com> wrote in message
news:44e1q2tukefiv4rggngu4e1db7j74r538m@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 7 Jan 2007 15:53:37 +1000, "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au>
> wrote:
>>
>>"David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
>>news:45a0106e$0$16552$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com .au...
>>>
>
> [...]
>
>>>>
>>>> Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
>>>> suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Curt
>>>>
>>>
>>> YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my wife and call my other
>>> friend with the news!! Bless you and the Humour Committee for showing
>>> such
>>> acumen and excellent judgement!
>>> (however I would have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment)
>>> I
>>> don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who has always stood by
>>> me, my partner Charles who I couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my
>>> grade 3 teacher, the janitor, AND the Humour Committee which was my
>>> inspiration and . Curt . .(sorry about the stool!) . (wipes a tear .
>>> .
>>> ..) and . . .I PROMISE TO BE A BETTER PERSON IN FUTURE!!! Thank you
>>> Thank
>>> you!!
>
>>OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough to give me the
>>nomination in the first place!
>>Thank you! Thank you!
>>
>
> Kindly remove your snout from the collective MFW orifice and take a
> flannel and soap to your brown-stained hooter.
>
> Don't forget those who made you what you are, and remember that those
> whom you patronise or ignore on the way up, will be pleased to kick
> your arse as you pass them again on the inevitable return journey.
>
> Remember, modesty is becoming and manners maketh the man. Also
> acknowledge what happened to Humpty Dumpty, the poor little fat fuck!
>
> Have a great Sunday Oz - now where's my Rosary? ;o)

Now Charles, there is no reason to throw a tantrum - by the way I noticed
that the 'Collateral to Bank' file is missing - is there any reason why you
have taken it? Of course you have generously offered your Bentley as
collateral and you know how grateful we are. (I am certain we can correct
the minor slight you have suffered with December's award!)

On 7 Jan 2007 01:33:29 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

>Charles wrote:
>[...]
>
>> There is a degree of sycophancy and mutual pissing up kilts emerging
>> here, which will undermine the potential goodwill engendered by the
>> Humour Committee's activities.
>
>Pssst, Charles, SHHH! If I'm ever going to get my cubicle back you're
>going to have to play along. Damn it, man!

I refuse to be party to this outrageous connivance.

>
>> You are referring to the chap who has done nothing but constantly
>> undermine your activities as Chairman, while completely overlooking
>> the albeit somewhat modest contributions from your benefactor.
>
>YOU'RE RIGHT! Why, I'd just as soon take a poke at him as look at the
>cubicle-stealing son of a...

Quite so...

>
>But, no, I won't stoop to his level (lest I fall off my wobbling
>stool).

Your position is indeed precarious...

>
>> In your summing up for the month you managed to give a mention to
>> almost every regular contributor to the Group, plus a couple of
>> passing drunks who wondered what the fuck the fuss was all about.
>
>I suspect that may be the case. Regardless, a Humour Committee member
>must fulfill his tasks!

They can and will but only if they don't want to!!

>
>> I thought it had been established that members of the Humour Committee
>> were exempt from nomination for the prestigious monthly awards.
>
>Oh, they are, however one cannot overlook TWO nominations. (Well, one
>CAN, however, uh, well, that is, I mean...)

Your reasons in writing in triplicate for this calumnious decision are
required with immediately, and should be on my desk by at least by
this time next month.

>
>> I assumed that this was the reason why a certain English gentleman
>> did not even merit a single syllable 'crap' for his modest input.
>
>Every word you type is an award in and of itself for all of MFW,

You obsequiousness becomes you and will work every time.

>Charles Hudson, Esq.

That is "Charles PONSONBY SMYTHE, Esq, of Olde London Towne.

>
>> I urge you to review procedures Mr Chairman or it is likely heads will
>> roll. If that sounds like sour grapes mate - IT FUCKING IS!!
>
>Good old sour grapes! I'm on a prune kick currently. May have to try
>those. I think Emmy's enjoying some sour grapes of late. Must be the
>new hot diet supplement.
>
>> The appointment you hold brings with it certain responsibilities; it
>> also invites criticism and hostility if you err.
>
>I appreciate your advice and recommendations always, Charles. It is a
>grave responsibility and one I don't take lightly. Otoh, humor is
>supposed to be kinda light and so, I mean, from THAT perspective, I
>guess I do take the job lightly, er, so to speak. Yes? Okay, no.
>Solemn. Humorless. Serious. Never mind that lighthearted crap. Didn't
>say it!
>
>(wipes smile off face)

You require the patience of a Saint and the wisdom of Solomon. The
skin of a rhinoceros may also help.

>
>> You may even find that the gentle soul who ofttimes describes
>> himself as The Enforcer, may well end up disliking you and turn
>> ugly!
>
>Perish the thought, Charles! What could come between me 'n my
>bestestest pal, Em? NOTHING, I tell you! NOTHING!

Just a word to the wise; remember what happened to Julius Caesar and
beware your "bestestest pal" doesn't morph into your very own Brutus!

>
>> Have a great Sunday old chap - I'm off to Mass! ;o)
>
>Enjoy, good sir.
>

It shall be done - but in a rather more subdued manner! ;o)

HAGS!

On 7 Jan 2007 01:44:44 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:

>David wrote:<snip>
>> > "Curt" wrote:
>
>> >>> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
>> >>> >> MFW Humour Awards!
>[...]
>> >>> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>
>Thought you might appreciate an instant replay of your recent win,
>David.
>
>> Curt, it seems obvious that Mr Ponsonby has his nose of joint. I think he is
>> miffed that he was totally ignored for the prestigious Dec award. Maybe if
>> you can find something remotely funny he might have said he could be
>> nominated for the Jan award? (it;s not a reason of course but his Bentley
>> does secure the bank loan!)
>
>I've never even SEEN the Bentley. Obviously, he never drives near the
>trash bins, of course. I'm not faulting him for that.
>
>Hmm. Say, I do recall the one thing. Charles told the janitor to give
>my hat back and the janitor just couldn't stop laughing. Oh, and I
>overheard him talking with you about the likelihood of my getting my
>cubicle back and I coulda SWORN I heard you almost vomit you were
>laughing so hard.

>I'm sure either of those at least qualifies Charles
>for at least a nomination.
>

That somewhat feeble and long overdue proposal may contribute to a
more secure future for you!

HAGS! ;o)

"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1168163084.204133.262300@q40g2000cwq.googlegr oups.com...
> David wrote:<snip>
>> > "Curt" wrote:
>
>> >>> >> And without further ado, the winners of December's
>> >>> >> MFW Humour Awards!
> [...]
>> >>> >> And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
>
> Thought you might appreciate an instant replay of your recent win,
> David.

I must admit there is a certain . . . .um . . . ."tingle" when I read it

>
>> Curt, it seems obvious that Mr Ponsonby has his nose of joint. I think he
>> is
>> miffed that he was totally ignored for the prestigious Dec award. Maybe
>> if
>> you can find something remotely funny he might have said he could be
>> nominated for the Jan award? (it;s not a reason of course but his Bentley
>> does secure the bank loan!)
>
> I've never even SEEN the Bentley. Obviously, he never drives near the
> trash bins, of course. I'm not faulting him for that.

Hate to break the news Curt, but he has his Bentley hidden away - sadly he
missed the past 4 lease payments and he has some mean fellas who will
repossess it soon as it appears on a public street.

> Hmm. Say, I do recall the one thing. Charles told the janitor to give
> my hat back and the janitor just couldn't stop laughing. Oh, and I
> overheard him talking with you about the likelihood of my getting my
> cubicle back and I coulda SWORN I heard you almost vomit you were
> laughing so hard. I'm sure either of those at least qualifies Charles
> for at least a nomination.

Well I think the end justifies the means - I think if he gets a nomination
he will stfu at least till he realizes he isn;t remotely funny enough to a
comedian's bootlace

>
> --
> Curt
>

"Charles" <jrh@msn.com> wrote in message
news:enf1q2t5no5ucj8cela2kl11npm171kd6k@4ax.com...
> On 7 Jan 2007 01:33:29 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>Charles wrote:
>>[...]
>>
>>> There is a degree of sycophancy and mutual pissing up kilts emerging
>>> here, which will undermine the potential goodwill engendered by the
>>> Humour Committee's activities.
>>
>>Pssst, Charles, SHHH! If I'm ever going to get my cubicle back you're
>>going to have to play along. Damn it, man!
>
> I refuse to be party to this outrageous connivance.
>
>>
>>> You are referring to the chap who has done nothing but constantly
>>> undermine your activities as Chairman, while completely overlooking
>>> the albeit somewhat modest contributions from your benefactor.
>>
>>YOU'RE RIGHT! Why, I'd just as soon take a poke at him as look at the
>>cubicle-stealing son of a...
>
> Quite so...
>
>>
>>But, no, I won't stoop to his level (lest I fall off my wobbling
>>stool).
>
> Your position is indeed precarious...
>
>>
>>> In your summing up for the month you managed to give a mention to
>>> almost every regular contributor to the Group, plus a couple of
>>> passing drunks who wondered what the fuck the fuss was all about.
>>
>>I suspect that may be the case. Regardless, a Humour Committee member
>>must fulfill his tasks!
>
> They can and will but only if they don't want to!!
>
>>
>>> I thought it had been established that members of the Humour Committee
>>> were exempt from nomination for the prestigious monthly awards.
>>
>>Oh, they are, however one cannot overlook TWO nominations. (Well, one
>>CAN, however, uh, well, that is, I mean...)
>
> Your reasons in writing in triplicate for this calumnious decision are
> required with immediately, and should be on my desk by at least by
> this time next month.
>
>>
>>> I assumed that this was the reason why a certain English gentleman
>>> did not even merit a single syllable 'crap' for his modest input.
>>
>>Every word you type is an award in and of itself for all of MFW,
>
> You obsequiousness becomes you and will work every time.
>
>>Charles Hudson, Esq.
>
> That is "Charles PONSONBY SMYTHE, Esq, of Olde London Towne.
>
>>
>>> I urge you to review procedures Mr Chairman or it is likely heads will
>>> roll. If that sounds like sour grapes mate - IT FUCKING IS!!
>>
>>Good old sour grapes! I'm on a prune kick currently. May have to try
>>those. I think Emmy's enjoying some sour grapes of late. Must be the
>>new hot diet supplement.
>>
>>> The appointment you hold brings with it certain responsibilities; it
>>> also invites criticism and hostility if you err.
>>
>>I appreciate your advice and recommendations always, Charles. It is a
>>grave responsibility and one I don't take lightly. Otoh, humor is
>>supposed to be kinda light and so, I mean, from THAT perspective, I
>>guess I do take the job lightly, er, so to speak. Yes? Okay, no.
>>Solemn. Humorless. Serious. Never mind that lighthearted crap. Didn't
>>say it!
>>
>>(wipes smile off face)
>
> You require the patience of a Saint and the wisdom of Solomon. The
> skin of a rhinoceros may also help.
>
>>
>>> You may even find that the gentle soul who ofttimes describes
>>> himself as The Enforcer, may well end up disliking you and turn
>>> ugly!
>>
>>Perish the thought, Charles! What could come between me 'n my
>>bestestest pal, Em? NOTHING, I tell you! NOTHING!
>
> Just a word to the wise; remember what happened to Julius Caesar and
> beware your "bestestest pal" doesn't morph into your very own Brutus!

You have to hand it to Charles - he knows Shakespeare (I also love that
author - in fact I read all her books)

>
>>
>>> Have a great Sunday old chap - I'm off to Mass! ;o)
>>
>>Enjoy, good sir.
>>
>
> It shall be done - but in a rather more subdued manner! ;o)
>
> HAGS!

On Sun, 7 Jan 2007 19:37:49 +1000, "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au>
wrote:
>
>"Charles" <jrh@msn.com> wrote in message
>news:qtc1q21o7rmdc0vq6ia98ublfsni2pr2ee@4ax.com.. .
>> On 6 Jan 2007 23:12:03 -0800, "Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
[...]

>>>
>>>> Thank you! Thank you!
>>>
>>>No, thank you! Laughter is truly the best medicine. Congratulations on
>>>this amazing achievement. ;o)
>>>
>>
>> You are referring to the chap who has done nothing but constantly
>> undermine your activities as Chairman, while completely overlooking
>> the albeit somewhat modest contributions from your benefactor.
>>
>> In your summing up for the month you managed to give a mention to
>> almost every regular contributor to the Group, plus a couple of
>> passing drunks who wondered what the fuck the fuss was all about.
>>
>> I thought it had been established that members of the Humour Committee
>> were exempt from nomination for the prestigious monthly awards. I
>> assumed that this was the reason why a certain English gentleman did
>> not even merit a single syllable 'crap' for his modest input.
>>
>> I urge you to review procedures Mr Chairman or it is likely heads will
>> roll. If that sounds like sour grapes mate - IT FUCKING IS!!
>>
>> The appointment you hold brings with it certain responsibilities; it
>> also invites criticism and hostility if you err. You may even find
>> that the gentle soul who ofttimes describes himself as The Enforcer,
>> may well end up disliking you and turn ugly!
>>
>> Have a great Sunday old chap - I'm off to Mass! ;o)
>
>Curt, it seems obvious that Mr Ponsonby has his nose of joint.

That's PONSONBY SMYTHE, Esq., and his nose is fuck all to do with you.

>I think he is
>miffed that he was totally ignored for the prestigious Dec award.

You say "miffed"?

Fucking "miffed" - he's apofuckingplectic!

>Maybe if
>you can find something remotely funny he might have said he could be
>nominated for the Jan award?

Don't you patronise me you Oz bastard (although that suggestion may go
a long way towards putting things right)!

>(it;s not a reason of course but his Bentley
>does secure the bank loan!)
>

All my pledged assets have been reassigned to the numbered Swiss bank
account from whence they came!

On Sun, 7 Jan 2007 19:42:23 +1000, "David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au>
wrote:
>
>"Curt" <curtjames@gmail.com> wrote in message
>news:1168153923.096021.84750@42g2000cwt.googlegro ups.com...
[...]

>>
>> The mention of Mrs. Taylor has me immediately making a mental note to
>> myself to nominate you for January's award. Your entire acceptance
>> speech post had me rolling.
>>
>
>That's decent of you Curt - I don't think for a moment that I could ever win
>this award for 2 months in a row! Could it be possible? I dare not even
>think . . . my gosh!! (just btw I was thinking of suggesting to Charles
>that you might have a modest increase in your perks - I thought (just for a
>start) your very own key to the Men's Room??

No chance - he can dig a pit in the paddock behind the executive
dining room for all I care, and discharge ballast to his heart's
content!

>
>> [...]
>>
>>> OMG!! I forgot Om!! The person who was generous enough
>>> to give me the nomination in the first place!
>>
>> Om offered you TWO nominations, actually.
>>
>>> Thank you! Thank you!
>>
>> No, thank you! Laughter is truly the best medicine. Congratulations on
>> this amazing achievement. ;o)
>
>I am grateful for the confidence you have placed in me and hope that I
>fulfil your expectations that I would carry this award with the dignity it
>deserves!
>

You have obviously surrendered your dignity and integrity for your
fifteen minutes of fame!

Remember what happened to the poor bugger who sold his soul to the
Devil...

In article <45a0106e$0$16552$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au> ,
"David" <forgotwhy@yahoo.com.au> wrote:

> > Bronze goes to DZ.
> >
> > Silver awarded to Tom Anderson.
> >
> > And the Gold Medal is presented to David!
> >
> > Charles will now sing "There She Is, Miss America!"
> >
> > Um, the Humour Committee is currently seeking recommendations for a
> > suitable theme song for future award ceremonies. Thank you.
> >
> > --
> > Curt
> >
>
> YOU'RE KIDDING!!! GOLD!!!! Wait till I wake up my wife and call my other
> friend with the news!! Bless you and the Humour Committee for showing such
> acumen and excellent judgement!
> (however I would have given Geek Girl an award for the thyroid comment) I
> don't know what to say . . . can I thank my wife who has always stood by me,
> my partner Charles who I couldn't have done without, Mrs Taylor, my grade 3
> teacher, the janitor, AND the Humour Committee which was my inspiration and
> . Curt . .(sorry about the stool!) . (wipes a tear . . ..) and . . .I
> PROMISE TO BE A BETTER PERSON IN FUTURE!!! Thank you Thank you!!

Congrats David!

<pops a magnum of champagne in Davids general direction>
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson