Some people should not own pets. ;-) (humor)

Actual questions that have been asked by pet owners.
*
Q. Why does my dog drink out of the toilet bowl?
A. Because you left the lid up.

(I've never had this problem. We keep the bathroom door closed at all
times out of habit.)
*
Q. What should I do if I find a snake in my yard?
A. Scream, run like hell, leave it alone, he'll leave.

(This one is very true, except the snake generally does not get a chance
to leave. I've found more than one dead one, and once I found only 1/2
of a snake. The dogs tend to kill them.)
*
Q. How can I keep myself dry when I bath the dog?
A. Strip.

(I can relate to this! The most efficient way to bathe a dog is to
simply take it in the shower with you. I bathe the dog first and then
give it to the housemate to towel her mostly dry, then I clean the tub
of all dog hair and stuff, then finish my own shower. <G>)
*
Q. Why does my fish food taste so bad.
A. You actually tasted the stuff?.

(never have done this! I have had to keep fish food away from the cats
tho'.)
*
Q. The pet store said my rabbits were both girls.
Now there are baby bunnies. What happened?
A. Take a deep breath. Ready? One is a boy!

(Bought a pet "boy" guinea pig once when I was in grade school. 3 weeks
later, I had 5 guinea pigs! Some pet store employees really are
clueless.)
*
Q. The vet said to give my cat three pills a day.
My cat won't swallow them. Should I put the
pills up his bottom?
A. Poor cat. Phone me first, I want to watch!

(Me too. <G>)
--
Peace, Om

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"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

On Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:17:01 -0500, Omelet <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote:

>Actual questions that have been asked by pet owners.
>*
>Q. Why does my dog drink out of the toilet bowl?
>A. Because you left the lid up.
>
>(I've never had this problem. We keep the bathroom door closed at all
>times out of habit.)

You enter and exit through a window or something? Must be a pain in the middle of the night.


>Q. The pet store said my rabbits were both girls.
>Now there are baby bunnies. What happened?

Both are sluts. Even by rabbit standards.

(Did you know that in the wild, female rabbits will mate with every available healthy male,
expelling the majority of the ejaculate between couplings? The result is a litter representing
multiple fathers, adding to genetic diversity.)

>(Bought a pet "boy" guinea pig once when I was in grade school. 3 weeks
>later, I had 5 guinea pigs! Some pet store employees really are
>clueless.)


Dude.
YOU'RE the one who had to care for and feed six guinea pigs from that point... presumably
buying your food and supplies from that same store, boosting their sales.

Now WHO was the 'clueless' one in this exercise again?

In article <1cs5735008o7f8094akkfp550ttes7ra3h@4ax.com>,
Lucas Buck <sbcpark@earthlink.NOSPAM.net> wrote:

> On Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:17:01 -0500, Omelet <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >Actual questions that have been asked by pet owners.
> >*
> >Q. Why does my dog drink out of the toilet bowl?
> >A. Because you left the lid up.
> >
> >(I've never had this problem. We keep the bathroom door closed at all
> >times out of habit.)
>
> You enter and exit through a window or something? Must be a pain in the
> middle of the night.

<lol> Cute play on words.
I do have to ask house guests to please close the bathroom door when
they are done.

>
>
> >Q. The pet store said my rabbits were both girls.
> >Now there are baby bunnies. What happened?
>
> Both are sluts. Even by rabbit standards.
>
> (Did you know that in the wild, female rabbits will mate with every available
> healthy male,
> expelling the majority of the ejaculate between couplings? The result is a
> litter representing
> multiple fathers, adding to genetic diversity.)

Where do you find this trivia?

>
> >(Bought a pet "boy" guinea pig once when I was in grade school. 3 weeks
> >later, I had 5 guinea pigs! Some pet store employees really are
> >clueless.)
>
>
> Dude.
> YOU'RE the one who had to care for and feed six guinea pigs from that
> point... presumably
> buying your food and supplies from that same store, boosting their sales.
>
> Now WHO was the 'clueless' one in this exercise again?

I sold them back to the pet store at a profit. ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

On Fri, 15 Jun 2007 20:58:44 -0500, Omelet <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote:

>In article <1cs5735008o7f8094akkfp550ttes7ra3h@4ax.com>,
> Lucas Buck <sbcpark@earthlink.NOSPAM.net> wrote:
>
>> On Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:17:01 -0500, Omelet <omp_omelet@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> >Actual questions that have been asked by pet owners.
>> >*
>> >Q. The pet store said my rabbits were both girls.
>> >Now there are baby bunnies. What happened?
>>
>> Both are sluts. Even by rabbit standards.
>>
>> (Did you know that in the wild, female rabbits will mate with every available
>> healthy male,
>> expelling the majority of the ejaculate between couplings? The result is a
>> litter representing
>> multiple fathers, adding to genetic diversity.)
>
>Where do you find this trivia?

Rodent porn.

>> >(Bought a pet "boy" guinea pig once when I was in grade school. 3 weeks
>> >later, I had 5 guinea pigs! Some pet store employees really are
>> >clueless.)
>>
>>
>> Dude.
>> YOU'RE the one who had to care for and feed six guinea pigs from that
>> point... presumably
>> buying your food and supplies from that same store, boosting their sales.
>>
>> Now WHO was the 'clueless' one in this exercise again?
>
>I sold them back to the pet store at a profit. ;-)

In other words, you raised livestock for the snakes to eat.

In article <bih8731hss8i8ii6nembpmc71psonk38ho@4ax.com>,
Lucas Buck <sbcpark@earthlink.NOSPAM.net> wrote:

> >Where do you find this trivia?
>
> Rodent porn.
>

SICK BASTID!!!

> >
> >I sold them back to the pet store at a profit. ;-)
>
> In other words, you raised livestock for the snakes to eat.

Guinea pigs, at $15.00 each, are too expensive for snake food nowadays...

But thank you for playing. <G>
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson